Surrender

From "God Is Good":

"Before A.A., I could not, or would not, admit I was wrong. My pride would not let me. And yet I was ashamed of me. Caught in this conflict, I banished God from my life because I felt He asked me to adhere to a behavior pattern too high for a man of my human frailty. Somehow, I believed that there could be no forgiveness of any failure, that God required me to be all good. The moral of the story of the Prodigal Son eluded me.

Since I thought trying was not enough, I stopped trying.

That made me feel guilty. For a while, alcohol blotted out the guilt. Then alcohol became the greatest cause of my guilt. I had to be beaten to a pulp physically, mentally and emotionally, become bankrupt in all facets of my being, before I could give up my pride and admit defeat. Unfortunately, admitting was not sufficient. My situation got worse until I had to surrender completely. From the depths of my hell, I called out, 'Oh God, help,' and He led me to a place where I could find a way out of the maze and then sent me a group of people to lead the way."


Came to Believe, 30^th printing 2004, pg.86