Boundaries

Our boundaries are both inside and outside ourselves. No one can set them for us; only we can set them. When we come into recovery, boundaries are often unfamiliar. We may wonder, what are they? How do we use them? Many of us come from families where, as children, our boundaries were disregarded, creating a pattern we continue to act on as adults.

Starting to set boundaries for ourselves takes time and practice. Because the experience is unfamiliar, we may often find ourselves veering between two extremes—holding back for fear of blurring our boundaries or acting as if we have no boundaries at all.
 

  But our willingness to set boundaries and stick with them brings us a clearer sense of who we are. We begin to learn where we start and end. We learn the same about other people. With boundaries come a new sense of self-respect as we affirm to ourselves that we are not objects to be trampled on or used, but we are human beings with dignity.

I know my own limits, and if I don’t, I have every right to learn them.