We are never going to be perfect. We can't even define what that means. Perhaps God is perfect. Elements of nature appear perfect. But we humans are flawed. And yet we are all okay just as we are.
Recovery pulls us out of that world. We learn to focus on others. We learn to reach out to them with love. This is the best way to love ourselves.
This doesn't mean that we live our lives through others. It means we invite others into our lives. It also means we ask to be invited into their lives. Recovery breaks down our self-will. It makes room for others in our lives.
Higher Power, I give You my self-will. I know that by giving this piece of myself up, You will help me do better.
I'll list three ways my self-will has messed up my life. How am I doing at turning over these things to my Higher Power?
After we've made a surrender, the drinking problem is out of our hands and in the hands of God. The thing we have to do is to be sure that we never reach out and take the problem back into our own hands. Leave it in God's hands. Whenever I'm tempted to take a drink, I must say to myself: "I can't do that. I've made a bargain with God not to drink. I know God doesn't want me to drink and so I won't do it." At the same time, I say a little prayer to God for the strength needed to keep the bargain with Him. Am I going to keep my bargain with God?
Resentments keep us in the past, a past that can never be relived. Resentments keep a stranglehold on our mind. They keep us from appreciating the beauty of a moment. They stop us from hearing the loving voices of friends. We forget that we have a mission to fulfill God's Divine plan for our life.
Fortunately, we can shake this hold on us, and our freedom comes when we decide to forgive whatever transgressions are made against us. This decision, with some practice, can become second nature.
Clearly the choice to resent no one is our opportunity to free our mind and heart for the real activities God hopes we'll attend to. Our purpose in this life goes unfulfilled when we're consumed by resentments. Now we have a program of recovery to help us develop a forgiving heart and find the peace and joy that are part of God's will for each of us.
Holding resentments against others hurts me. Forgiveness can make me glad I'm alive today.
But darkness has gifts for us—different gifts than we get from light. Darkness changes how we see things. In the dark we see less, but we pay better attention. As we let go of our fears and let our eyes adjust to the dark, we find that we can see more than we first thought.
In recovery, we rebel against our disease because we have love for ourselves and for something greater that needs fighting for. Each day we fight for the freedom to stay close to our Higher Power, friends, and family.
It’s mainly a quiet battle. It’s fought daily. We fight and win by acting in a spiritual way. We fight and win every time we help a friend, go to a meeting, or read about how to improve our lives.
We move slowly but always forward. Rushing will only tire us out. Our battle will go on for life. We are quiet fighters, but we’re strong, for we do not fight alone. And we know what waits for us if we lose.
There is no healing without forgiveness. I love the peace I feel with forgiveness.
~Helen Casey
The program is helping us understand that when we feel resentful or angry, we are hindering our own recovery as well as our Higher Power’s plan for us. We cannot receive God’s full message if we are trapped by our hateful feelings.
Why would we want to continue our agitation toward someone else, particularly when it means we can feel no peace? The answer lies in our struggle to be “right” in every situation. Being right rather than peaceful remains too important to us.
*The Set Aside Prayer:pages 47 and 48(This prayer comes from the Chapter to the Agnostic, primarily)
"Dear God please help me to set aside everything I think I know about [people. place or thing] so I may have an open mind and a new experience. Please help me to see the truth about [people. place or thing]. AMEN." 
His parents put in a phone by his bed and friends called every day. He'd never much liked talking on the phone, but he felt better when they called. He wrote letters and got replies, and was surprised at what fun it was. Usually, he didn't have time to write letters.
He learned to play chess and began to enjoy reading. His days were slower and quieter than he'd been used to, but he learned a month really isn't a very long time. When spring came, he was running again, a little more joyfully than before.
When we can learn to accept our troubles, we find, like the boy, that they are just packages in which new growth and discoveries are wrapped.
If something unexpected slows me down today, what joys might I find at the slower pace?
Regardless of how we understand a Power greater than ourselves, prayer is an important part of our lives. Relating to a Higher Power leads us out of our egotism into a conscious relationship with powers far beyond ourselves.
How do we pray? We can use words to state what’s on our mind. We can say them silently or out loud. We can quiet our mind and simply enter into the peace of God, opening our mind to receive
The
chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p.
76
When I feel
uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear. This "evil and
corroding thread" is the root of my distress: Fear of failure; fear of others'
opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have found a Higher Power, who
does not want me to live in fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my
life is freedom and joy.
I am no longer willing to live with the multitude of
character defects that characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven is
my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for help in identifying the
fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This
method works for me without fail and is one of the great miracles of my life in
Alcoholics Anonymous.
~Elizabeth Farrell
Many of us didn’t feel alcoholism or addiction was a gift when we first got into recovery. We felt shame or perhaps anger that we couldn’t drink or use like other women. Alcohol or other drugs made us feel less self-conscious and more courageous. Accepting that we couldn’t handle these substances meant feeling the fear of many situations, perhaps for the first time.
But most of us have come to appreciate the rewards of sobriety. When we were using, our lack of consistent values caused us to stumble many times. Now we have the Steps
You can prove to yourself that life is basically and fundamentally an inner attitude. Just try to remember what troubled you most a week ago. You probably will find it difficult to remember. Why then should you unduly worry or fret over the problems that arise today? Your attitude toward them can be changed by putting yourself and your problems in God's hands and trusting Him to see that everything will turn out all right, provided you are trying to do the right thing. Your changed mental attitude toward your problems relieves you of their burden and you can face them without fear. Has my mental attitude changed?
Meditation for the Day
You cannot see the future. It's a blessing that you cannot. You could not bear to know all the future.
Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth value of honesty and candor. When this happens, one of the first things we’re able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission—without shame or embarrassment—we find still another dimension of freedom. In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become ever richer and ever more serene?
Every one of us living a sober life has made a major change. It wasn’t easy – and it won’t be the last change we’ll ever need to make.
If you are considering another change that will enhance your life, here are ways to embrace it:
