READINESS TO SERVE OTHERS

The "Light" to freedom shines bright on my fellow alcoholics as each one of us challenges the other to grow. The "Steps" to self-improvement have small beginnings, but each Step builds the "ladder" out of the pit of despair to new hope.
 
 Honesty becomes my "tool" to unfurl the "chains" which bound me. A sponsor, who is a caring listener, can help me to truly hear the message guiding me to freedom. I ask God for the courage to live in such a way that the Fellowship may be a testimony to His favor. This mission frees me to share my gifts of wellness through a spirit of readiness to serve others.

Surrender

Reflection for the Day

The first psychiatrist to recognize the work of Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. Harry Tiebout, used many concepts of the program in his own practice. Over many years, the doctor’s study of the “conversion experience” led him to see, first, that it is the act of surrender that initiates the switch from negative to positive; second, that the positive phase is really a state of surrender that follows the act of surrender; and third, that the state of surrender, if maintained, supplies an emotional tone to all thinking and feeling that ensures healthy adjustment. Am I living in a constant state of surrender?

Choice

You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment.

~David D. Burns

Good thoughts are like bright colors in a painting. Negative thoughts are dark and dreary and drab. Each day we paint pictures of our own lives with our thoughts. If we step back and look at the canvas, we will see whether the picture is alive with bright colors or dreary and lifeless like a dark cloud.

Our thoughts have the power to bring joy or sadness our way, depending on what we expect or look for in our surroundings.

NO MAUDLIN GUILT

Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection. So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt . . . 
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 15

When I first discovered that there is not a single "don't" in the Twelve Steps of A.A., I was disturbed because this discovery swung open a giant portal. Only then was I able to realize what A.A. is for me: 

A.A. is not a program of "don'ts", but of "do's".

A.A. is not martial law; it is freedom.
A.A. is not tears over defects, but sweat over fixing them.
A.A. is not penitence; it is salvation.
A.A. is not "Woe to me" for my sins, past and present.
A.A. is "Praise God" for the progress I am making today.

LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us . . . We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others . . . We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
                                      -   AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252 -

When I did my personal inventory I found that I had unhealthy relationships with most people in my life - my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated and lonely.

LETTING GO

“He who cannot rest, cannot work;
He who cannot let go, cannot hold on;
He who cannot find footing, cannot go forward.”

Harry Emerson Fosdick


Prior to walking through the doors of this program, my goal in life was to set up barricades against possible attacks. My mind was cluttered with battle strategies and defense tactics. I tried to predict every conceivable plot to topple me from my self-appointed throne. I sought to control situations in order to dominate the outcomes. To that end, I would bend over backwards to do for others what I didn’t want them to do for themselves. I maneuvered myself into positions of power so that I wasn’t presented with any surprises. Every situation was weighed for the probability of failure. I never took chances.

This process took time and vast amounts of energy. My mind was in a constant cacophony. Consequently, there was no room for growth, no space for acquiring new skills and no time to develop old ones.

Be careful with amends

Hurting someone thoughtlessly just to lift our own guilt is not a proper Step Nine. Amends are for rebuilding the burned bridges in our lives. But if amends will hurt someone, we must decide if it’s in that person’s best interest to be told now. Oftentimes it’s best left unsaid, but never denied to ourselves or to God.

Changing our behavior intentionally is one part of making amends, particularly to family members who may have heard us say “I’m sorry” far too many times. Repaying money, repairing damages, and making charitable contributions on behalf of the person we have harmed are all honest attempts to right our wrong. The point in every amends attempt is to take responsibility for what we did and express our regrets. Couple this with changed behavior, and our relationships will improve immediately.

I will not shy away from any amends I need to make today, but I’ll be careful not to hurt someone with information he or she doesn’t need to know.

WE FORGIVE

Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 58

What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.

Every passage...

Our life of active addiction had a price, and we paid it. It asked for our dignity, and we gave it up. It asked for our relationships, and we gave them up. It asked for our self-respect; we gave that up, too. We did whatever our addiction asked of us. We paid any price it asked.

Recovery will also ask us to ante up. We will need to surrender our wills and lives over to a Higher Power. We will need to go to meetings even when we don’t want to. We will have to work and help those who still suffer.

24 Hours

Reflection for the Day

Before finding recovery, I hadn’t the faintest idea of what it was to “Live in the now.” I often became obsessed with things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent clearing away the “wreckage of the future.” “To me,” Walt Whitman once wrote, “every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.” Can I truly believe that in my heart?

Today I Pray

Let me carry only the weight of twenty-four hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I feel the balance of a soul that continues growing more connected to its Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

Don’t borrow from tomorrow.

THE PAST IS OVER

 

A.A. experience has taught us we cannot live alone with our pressing problems and the character defects which cause or aggravate them. If . . . Step Four . . . has revealed in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember . . . then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever. We   have to talk to somebody about them  TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55

Whatever is done is over. It cannot be changed. But my attitude about it can be changed through talking with those who have gone before and with sponsors. I can wish the past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what I have done, my attitude will change. I won't have to wish the past away. I can change my feelings and attitudes, but only through my actions and the help of my fellow alcoholics.

New way of life

AA Thought for the Day

When we were drinking, most of us were full of pride and selfishness. We believed we could handle our own affairs, even though we were making a mess of our lives. We were very stubborn and didn’t like to take advice. We resented being told what to do. To us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into AA, we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome drinking. Have I learned that there is power in humility?

Meditation for the Day

CULTIVATING FAITH

"I don't think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I don't believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it.  . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service. We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn't easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else . . ."

DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS  pp. 307-308

HAPPINESS IS NOT THE POINT

I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge? 


In my search "to be happy", I changed jobs, married and divorced, took geographical cures, and ran myself into debt-financially, emotionally and spiritually.
 
In A.A., I'm learning to grow up. Instead of demanding that people, places and things make me happy, I can ask God for self-acceptance. When a problem overwhelms me,

Many types of people

As we live within the recovering community, we will meet many types of people. We will meet some who take their recovery very seriously and others who don’t. We must remember that this is our life we’re fighting for. Addiction is a very dangerous and deadly illness. We need to surround ourselves with the best. We deserve it. An AA saying tells us to “Stick with the winners.” Why? So we, too, can be winners.

During our active addiction, we helped to bring out the worst in others. We supported our using friends in doing things that were dangerous and destructive.

Progress, not perfection

Every forward step we take, we leave some phantom of ourselves behind.

~John Spalding

A recovering person once remarked that every day when he woke up, he said, “Okay, God, surprise me.” Although each day brings new challenges, there is one thing it won’t bring—perfection. Today we can expect a mixed bag of experiences with a wide range of emotions to match.

If we’re feeling discouraged or negative about our life, one way to cultivate an attitude of gratitude is to look back and see how far we’ve come. Remember, we seek “Progress, not perfection.” There is always something to be grateful for, including the ability to find something to be grateful for.

When life is so bad that I want to cry, I’ll try laughing instead.