Choices

We choose the lives we lead. We choose sadness or happiness; success for failure; dread or excited anticipation. Whether or not we are conscious of our choices, we are making them every moment.

Accepting full responsibility for our actions is one of the requirements of maturity. Not always the easiest thing to do, but necessary to our further development. An unexpected benefit of accepting our responsibility is that it heightens our awareness of personal power. Our well being is within our power. Happiness is within our power. Our attitude about any condition, present or future, is within our power, if we take it.

Not a Victim

How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization.

Victimization can be so habitual that we may feel victimized even by the good things that happen to us!

Got a new car? Yes, we sigh, but it doesn't run as well as I expected, and after all, it cost so much. . . .

You've got such a nice family! Yes, we sigh, but there are problems. And we've had such hard times. . . .

Well, your career certainly is going well! Ah, we sigh, but there is such a price to pay for success. All that extra paperwork. . . .

Volunteering

Thought for the Day

There are no leaders in A.A. except as they volunteer to accept responsibility. The work of carrying on A.A. - leading group meetings, serving on committees, speaking before other groups, doing twelfth step work, spreading A.A. among the alcoholics of the community - all these things are done on a volunteer basis. If I don't volunteer to do something concrete for A.A., the movement is that much less effective. I must do my fair share to carry the load. A.A. depends on all its members to keep it alive and to keep it growing. Am I doing my share for A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

I will look beyond the character defects of others

How easy it is to point out the faults of others! There's a reason for this: The defects we identify most easily in others are often the defects we are most familiar with in our own characters. We may notice our best friend's tendency to spend too much money, but if we examine our own spending habits we'll probably find the same compulsiveness. We may decide our sponsor is much too involved in service, but find that we haven't spent a single weekend with our families in the past three months because of one service commitment or another.
What we dislike in our fellows are often those things we dislike most in ourselves. We can turn this observation to our spiritual advantage. When we are stricken with the impulse to judge someone else, we can redirect the impulse in such a way as to recognize our own defects more clearly.

We never develop immunity to our addictions

The Twelve Steps are a suggested program of recovery, not a cure. We can follow them and live a healed life, but we never develop immunity to our addictions and codependency. We remain vulnerable to slips, binges, and a return to old behaviors. If that has happened to us, our first need is to find a way back to the program. A slip may speak the blatant truth we avoided before.
 
 A man's complete honesty following a slip has sometimes been the way to renewed knowledge of his powerlessness. There is no value in feeling more shame and self-hate in the aftermath of a slip. We need to accept we are incomplete and imperfect human beings. Recovery will come, not from shame, but from honestly accepting our powerlessness and the help we need.

Big Book

A.A. Thought for the Day

For the past two months we have been studying passages and steps from the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Now why not read the book itself again? It is essential that the A.A. program become part of us. We must have its essentials at our fingertips. We cannot study the Big Book too much or too often. The more we read it and study it, the better equipped we are to think A.A., act A.A., and live A.A. We cannot know too much about the program. The chances are that we will never know enough. But we can make as much of it our own as possible. How much of the Big Book have I thoroughly mastered? Meditation for the Day

LOVE WITHOUT STRINGS

Sponsorship held two surprises for me. First, that my sponsees cared about me. What I had thought was gratitude was more like love. They wanted me to be happy, to grow and remain sober.
 
 Knowing how they felt kept me from drinking more than once. Second, I discovered that I was able to love someone else responsibly, with respectful and genuine concern for that person's growth. Before that time, I had thought that my ability to care sincerely about another's well-being had atrophied from lack of use.
 

Not alone

How many of us gave ourselves away trying to fix painful childhood longings? We thought if we were good boys, good men, caretakers, we would have the love we wanted. Sadly, our remedies for childhood pain have often been childish solutions. Our need for security may have become a self-centered obsession and blocked our ability to hear our loved ones. We may have become so fervent about accepting others that we failed to stand up for ourselves and lost their respect.

Most of us reach adulthood with leftover pain no person could ever fix. We learn grown up responses by accepting our load of pain and by asking others for help. Intimacy and companionship reduce the weight. We tell our friends about our burdens, and we learn what they are carrying. In the process we grow in wisdom and maturity.

Today. I will remember I do not have to be alone with my pain

.From Touchstone

Temporary Setbacks

Sometimes, after we begin recovery, things in our life seem to get worse for a time. Our finances, our relationships, or our health may seem to deteriorate.

This is temporary; this is a normal part of recovery and healing. It may be the way things will be for a time, but not for long.

Keep working at recovery, and the trend will reverse. Before too long, things, and us, will be better than they were before. This time, the foundation will be solid.

God consciousness

Thought for the Day
Continuing the consideration of the term spiritual experience: "What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self discipline. With few exceptions, our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource, which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves the essence of spiritual experience. Some of us call it God consciousness. In any case, willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery." Have I tapped that inner resource which can change my life?

Meditation for the Day

The Committee

I remember the first time I heard about the committee. Someone shared that when she went to sleep, the committee in her head got together and started going over all the things that were wrong and why her life was never going to work out. They collected evidence, put solid cases together, and then reached their decisions. When she woke up in the morning, they handed her their verdict - guilty and sentenced to a miserable life!

Boy could I relate. I have my own committee of voices that constantly tell me things aren't going to work out, that my past mistakes are insurmountable, and that no matter how hard I try I will never be happy. When I'm alone, the committee is especially active and after a few days of listening to their decrees, I'm easily overwhelmed and defeated.

Some useful tools

Before recovery, anything that went wrong – or didn't go my way – easily became an impending disaster. Toothache? Must be a root canal. Boss not smiling? Probably going to get fired. Left to myself, my incessant negative thinking was quick to add dirt to any mole hill until the mountain of imaginary evidence overwhelmed me.

When I entered recovery, my sponsor was quick to point out a few tools I might find useful for my distorted thinking. The first was, “One day at a time.” “You’re not having a root canal, nor are you being fired today, are you?” he asked. “No,” I grudgingly replied. “Then take it easy,” he suggested. Next, he taught me to “Take the next indicated action.” Calling my dentist was a manageable action, whereas worrying endless about an imagined root canal wasn't. Using these and other tools of recovery helped restore me to sanity.

One day at a time

Once I had about 6 months of recovery, I began to feel as if my addiction was finally beginning to be manageable - I didn't crave it all the time, it didn't drive me as it once had, and I found myself thinking more about the steps, my life and the work ahead. The monkey was off my back.
But that didn't mean the circus of my life had left town. With the monkey gone, and my focus now redirected, I was confronted with the damage, the wreckage and the 'circus' of my life and my affairs. What a mess! I felt as if the different areas of my life were like separate Big Top tents - each with its own wild circus act going on, and all out of control. How was I ever to deal with it all?

I will turn to the program

As we look toward the hours ahead, we can be thankful that we need be concerned with only a single day's worth of hours. No more. What may come tomorrow, a decision that might be necessary next week, a big change in our lives coming next year, all will be handled with ease, when the time is right.

How fortunate we are, those of us who share this program for living! Our worries about the future are over, if we want them to be. We need to take only one step at a time. One day at a time. And always in the care of God. Relief from our lives of worry is immediate when we live the axiom, "Let go and let God."

The Evolving Relationship

Once when climbing rocks with friends, a woman reached a place she decided was impossible to move beyond. She wanted to retreat, but her belayer encouraged her to try again. She felt angry and scared, and she was stuck. She fought with the rock, but it was clear that the rock was never going to change. Wanting the rock to be different, to grow new footholds or handholds was futile.
After she vented her feelings, she realized there were only two ways out of her predicament. One way was to quit, and the other was to try again, perhaps with a different mind-set than she had before.

Peace with the Past

Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow.

"I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.

"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me - even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.

"I held on to anger for years, telling myself it was justified. I was in denial about a lot of things. Sometimes, I'd try to absolutely forget about my past, but I never really stopped and sorted through it; my past was like a dark cloud that followed me around, and I couldn't shake clear of it. I guess I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.

Spiritual experience

Thought for the Day

Let us consider the term "spiritual experience" as given in Appendix II of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous: "A spiritual experience is something that brings about a personality change. By surrendering our lives to God as we understand Him, we are changed. The nature of this change is evident in recovered alcoholics. This personality change is not necessarily in the nature of a sudden and spectacular upheaval. We do not need to acquire an immediate ad overwhelming God consciousness, followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook. In most cases, the change is gradual." Do I see a gradual and continuing change in myself?

Meditation for the Day

Our own happiness.

We've heard, "Life is as good as we make it," but this sounds far too simplistic. We look at friends, family, and co-workers and often see much unhappiness. If it's up to us to make life good, why do so few take advantage of the opportunity?

It's not that we don't want happiness. All of us do. But many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we're happy. When the boss compliments our work, we're happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we're worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. Fortunately, we are in the right place to acquire these skills.

Step Twelve

A.A. Thought For The Day

Step Twelve is, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” Note that the basis of our effectiveness in carrying the message to others is the reality of our own spiritual awakening. If we have not changed, we cannot be used to change others. To keep this program, we must pass it on to others. We cannot keep it for ourselves. We may lose it unless we give it away. It cannot flow into us and stop; it must continue to flow into us as it flows out to others.

Meditation For The Day

Anvils of Experience

So at the outset, how best to live and work together as groups became the prime question. In the world about us we saw personalities destroying whole peoples.

The struggle for wealth, power, and prestige was tearing humanity apart as never before. If strong people were stalemated in the search for peace and harmony, what was to become of our erratic band of alcoholics?
 

 As we had once struggled and prayed for individual recovery, just so earnestly did we commence to quest for the principles through which A.A. itself might survive. On anvils of experience, the structure of our Society was hammered out. 

1981 AAWS Inc.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 130-131

Awakening

"Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? Again, the voice of A.A. speaks up. No, sobriety is only a bare beginning, it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. And if it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.

Step 8 and 9

A.A. Thought for the Day

Step Eight is, "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Step Nine is, "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Making restitution for the wrongs we have done is often very difficult. It hurts our pride. But the rewards are great. When we go to a person and say we are sorry, the reaction we get is almost invariably good. It takes courage to make the plunge, but the results more than justify it. A load is off your chest and often an arch enemy has been turned into a friend. Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible? Meditation for the Day

Despair

Reflection for the Day
So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don't realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we're willing to turn to God for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we're troubled and can't see a way out, it's only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The Program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender my will to God's will, do I see faith at work in my life?

Today I Pray

The Step That Keeps Us Growing

"Sometimes, when friends tell us how well we are doing, we know better inside. We know we aren't doing well enough. We still can't handle life, as life is. There must be a serious flaw somewhere in our spiritual practice and development. What, then, is it?
 
 The chances are better than even that we shall locate our trouble in our misunderstanding or neglect of A.A.'s Step Eleven - prayer, meditation, and the guidance of God. The other Steps can keep most of us sober and somehow functioning. But Step Eleven can keep us growing, if we try hard and work at it continually."

AS BILL SEES IT
GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1958

Honest Inventory

A.A. Thought for the Day

Step Four is, "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Step Five is, "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Step Six is, "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." Step Seven is, "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." Step Ten is, "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." In taking a personal inventory, we have to be absolutely honest with ourselves and with other people. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself?

Meditation for the Day

Let us continue with Steps

A.A. Thought for the Day

Let us continue with Steps Two, Three, and Eleven. We must turn to a Higher Power for help, because we are helpless ourselves. When we put our drink problem in God's hands and leave it there, we have made the most important decision of our lives. From then on, we trust God for the strength to keep sober. This takes us off the center of the universe and allows us to transfer our problems to a Power outside ourselves. By prayer and meditation, we seek to improve our conscious contact with God. We try to live each day the way we believe God wants us to live. Am I trusting God for the strength to stay sober?

Meditation for the Day

Fear and Faith

"The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion - well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear."


"We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up. Sometimes we had to search persistently, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us."

1. GRAPEVINE, JANUARY 1962
2. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55

H.P. AS GUIDE

Having a right relationship with God seemed to be an impossible order. My chaotic past had left me filled with guilt and remorse and I wondered how this "God business" could work. A.A. told me that I must turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him.
 
With nowhere else to turn, I went down on my knees and cried, "God, I can't do this. Please help me!" It was when I admitted my powerlessness that a glimmer of light began to touch my soul, and then a willingness emerged to let God control my life.
 
 With Him as my guide, great events began to happen, and I found the beginning of sobriety.

Daily Reflections

ACCEPTANCE

We admitted we couldn't lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 109

Freedom came to me only with my acceptance that I could turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, whom I call God.

---

Serenity seeped into the chaos of my life when I accepted that what I was going through was life, and that God would help me through my difficulties - and much more, as well. Since then He has helped me through all of my difficulties! When I accept situations as they are, not as I wish them to be, then I can begin to grow and have serenity and peace of mind.

Attitude of gratitude

What outlook are we carrying forth into the day ahead? Are we feeling fearful about the circumstances confronting us? Do we dread a planned meeting? Are we worried about the welfare of a friend or lover? Whatever our present outlook, its power over the outcome of our day is profound. Our attitude in regard to any situation attracting our attention influences the outcome. Sometimes to our favor, often to our disfavor if our attitude is negative.

Thankfulness toward life guarantees the rewards we desire, the rewards we seek too often from an ungrateful stance. The feeling of gratitude is foreign to many of us.

Letting Go of Urgency

One thing at a time.

That's all we have to do. Not two things at once, but one thing done in peace.

One task at a time. One feeling at a time. One day at a time. One problem at a time. One step at a time.

One pleasure at a time.

Relax. Let go of urgency. Begin calmly now. Take one thing at a time.

See how everything works out?

Today, I will peacefully approach one thing at a time. When in doubt, I will take first things first.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Daily inventory

Thought for the Day
Let us continue with Steps Four, Five, Six, Seven, and Ten. In taking a personal inventory of ourselves, we have to face facts as they really are. We have to stop running away. We must face reality. We must see ourselves as we really are. We must admit our faults openly and try to correct them. We must try to see where we have been dishonest, impure, selfish, and unloving. We do not do this once and forget it. We do it every day of our lives, as long as we live. We are never done with checking up on ourselves. Am I taking a daily inventory of myself?

Meditation for the Day

Letting the Good Stuff Happen

I want the second half of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I'm afraid it won't be. Sometimes, I'm frightened it might be.

The good stuff can scare us. Change, even good change, can be frightening. In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard times.

The past, particularly before recovery, may have become comfortably familiar. We knew what to expect in our relationships. They were predictable. They were repeats of the same pattern - the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again. They may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.

This is not so when we change patterns and begins recovering.

We may have been fairly good at predicting events in most areas of our life. Relationships would be painful. We'd be deprived.

Freedom in acceptance

There is a wonderful freedom in acceptance. When we accept ourselves, with all our imperfections, we can then begin to accept others just as they are. This is especially exciting when we apply this discovery to our own families. A family is like a bouquet of flowers arranged in a common vase. Each flower is different. One might be blue, one white, one a rose, one a chrysanthemum. But each adds to the beauty of the whole bouquet and enhances the vase that holds it.

It isn't important that we know why one flower is blue and one white. We don't have to understand how a rose becomes a rose to appreciate the arrangement. We just accept it for what it is.

Venture of belief

A.A. Thought for the Day

Step Two is, "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Step Three is, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Step Eleven is, "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." The fundamental basis of A.A. is a belief in some Power greater than ourselves. Let us not take this lightly. We cannot fully get the program without this venture of belief. Have I made the venture of belief in a Power greater than my own?
Meditation for the Day

Found the Door

From: "Twice-Gifted"

My physical being has certainly undergone a transformation, but the major transformation has been spiritual. The hopelessness has been replaced by abundant hope and sincere faith.

The people of Alcoholics Anonymous have provided a haven where, if I remain aware and keep my mind quiet long enough, my Higher Power leads me to amazing realizations. I find joy in my daily life, in being of service, in simply being.
 

Restraint

"Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen."
c. 1952 AAWS
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 91
Thought to Consider . . . The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.
AACRONYMS

B E S T
Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

New Relationship Behaviors

We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. We talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-responsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.

While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people, these are not behaviors intended only for use in what we call "dysfunctional relationships."

These behaviors are our new relationship behaviors. They help us in stressful relationships. They can help us get through times of stress in healthy relationships.

Step One

Thought for the Day

This step states the membership requirement of A.A. We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of alcohol. We must admit that we are licked as far as drinking is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot drink like normal people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop drinking. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from normal drinkers?

Meditation for the Day

Taking responsibility

Taking responsibility for our own attitudes, actions, and neglects is far more difficult than managing and directing other people's lives.
Giving advice to another, for example, is much easier that practicing what we preach. If we would apply our advice to our own lives, we would have less time to criticize, correct, or interfere in someone else's difficulties. Moreover, we would be amazed at how many alternatives we have within our own grasp that could solve, or at least alleviate, the problems in our lives.

Short Study of The Twelve Suggested Steps

Thought for the Day

Today, let us begin a short study of The Twelve Suggested Steps of A.A. These Twelve Suggested Steps seem to embody five principles. The first step is the membership requirement step. The second, third, and eleventh steps are the spiritual steps of the program. The fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and tenth steps are the personal inventory steps. The eighth and ninth steps are the restitution steps. The twelfth step is the passing on of the program, or helping others, step. So the five principles are membership requirement, spiritual basis, personal inventory, restitution, and helping others. Have I made all these steps a part of me?

Meditation for the Day

Learning to let go

Learning to let go of the choices other people make takes away much of the angst we have grown accustomed to. Letting go of the outcome of all experiences, even those that involve us, frees our minds from the needless worry that keeps us stuck. The more we focus on a problem, our own or someone else's, the bigger it gets.

Why do we worry so much? For some of us, it has become a habit. Lucky for us, by sharing the Twelve Step journey we can learn how not to worry. The solution is to have faith that our Higher Power will take care of us

Comfort

"When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these: 'Pain is the touchstone of progress.' . . . 'Fear no evil.' . . . 'This, too, will pass.' . . . 'This experience can be turned to benefit.' These fragments of prayer bring far more than comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Bill W., AA Grapevine, March 1962
c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 110
Thought to Consider . . . 

God enters us through our wounds.

AACRONYMS

H E L P
Hope, Encouragement, Love, and Patience

A Step Poem

I took Step One, began to moan
I can’t do this one on my own.
I took Step Two, began to pray
Restore me God, please now, today.
I took Step Three, gave up my will
maybe God could love me still?
I took a Fourth, I looked inside
Nothing more would I hide.
And on the Fifth, I said aloud
“I’ve done some wrong, and I’m not proud.”

Solution

We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 17

Thought to Consider . . .

The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.

AACRONYMS
C A R E
Comforting And Reassuring Each other

What draws newcomers to A.A.

A.A. Thought for the Day

"What draws newcomers to A.A. and gives them hope? They hear the stories of men and women whose experiences tally with their own. The expressions on the faces of the women, that undefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating atmosphere of the A.A. clubroom, conspire to let them know that there is haven at last. The very practical approach to their problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding that these people in A.A. have is irresistible." Have I found a real haven in A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

Courage

No one of us is always courageous. With trepidation we embark on many journeys. Fear is dispelled each time we rely on our inner strength and trust that our lives are in good hands.

Self-talk is powerful and will prepare us to meet whatever lies ahead today. Self-talk is like prayer and quiets our fears, making it possible to give our full attention to the events transpiring. Self-talk, when positive, cultivates a healthy self-image, one that offers security, even in the face of disaster.

FAITH

The Big Book states that if we are rigorously honest we will receive release from our addictive compulsions. Working the Steps is what keeps us honest. I didn’t believe this with my whole heart and I lived within my disease. My sponsor told me to just “do it” and see what happened; to “act as if it were true.”

What is faith? It is the belief that if we stay close to our Higher Power we will be where we need to be. It is the guarantee that we do not walk through this world or this disease alone. Faith requires commitment to a belief that is greater than what we can see, hear, taste or smell.

Keep It Simple

We addicts can be very picky. We think there’s only one way to do things. It’s our way,But we call it the right way. When we think like this, three things happen. First, we put down other people. Second, we end up doing all the work. Third, everyone feels bad. The other person feels hurt that we don’t respect him or her. And we feel angry because we “had” to do all the work.

We need to know that there are many ways to do things. It’s okay when others don’t do things our way.

Listening

As we learn to listen to our Higher Power, we also learn to listen with more awareness to others and ourselves. Being willing to spend time alone, in quiet, is essential to listening. We often fear silence and being alone, and we escape into distractions and busy work.

Prayer is not so much telling and asking as it is listening. Prayer in this sense may be practiced continually during the day. By taking Step Three, we are giving up our will and becoming receptive to the will of our Higher Power. We focus less on our egotistical concerns and more on God, as we understand Him. That understanding grows through listening.