One foot in front of the other.

Recovering men(women) know this path is not always easy. We usually talk about the benefits of recovery and the many promises of the program. Today, in our fellowship, we talk of the challenges we must face in order to recover. Honesty may be the greatest challenge. It is frightening to be honest with ourselves about things we have never really admitted or faced before.

Sometimes we have new and confusing feelings and think something must be wrong with us. But we may be just experiencing the logical outcome of our earlier commitment to be honest.

Refuge

From "for A.A.s, a Season of Gratitude" 

The holiday season can be difficult for many A.A.s, especially the newcomer. The pressure to drink may feel overwhelming when it seems all the world is hoisting glasses in one toast after another. At these times, the prospect of the usual round of holiday parties can be as inviting as a stroll in a minefield to the alcoholic struggling to stay away from the first drink.
 

 
The A.A. group, though, can be a refuge. Meeting marathons provide a safe place for recovering alcoholics who are on their own, as well as those looking for a break from family festivities. Some groups schedule dances or potluck dinners, providing a place to congregate and celebrate in sober fellowship. 

CHOICES

I am an alcoholic and today I choose not to drink. When alcohol is offered, I say
"no". I do not go into "wet places", spend time with drinkers or put myself in
awkward situations. I assist my abstinence by the choices I make.

The recovering gambler avoids Las Vegas. The drug addict avoids sick relationships.

The compulsive overeater must exercise the spiritual power of choice around food.
"No" must involve both hands! For the recovering addict, talk must be accompanied by action. Some people, places and things must be avoided.

Spirituality is making my talk a visible reality.



Father Leo's Daily Meditation

Sponsorship

"No satisfaction has been deeper and no joy greater than in a Twelfth Step job well done. To watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, to see whole families reassembled, to see the alcoholic outcast received back into his community in full citizenship, and above all to watch these people awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives - these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry A.A.'s message to the next alcoholic."
c.1952 AAWS Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 110

Thought to Consider . . .

A recovering alcoholic without a sponsor is much like a ship without a rudder.

AACRONYMS

H E A R T
Healing, Enjoying, And Recovering, Together

Peace with the Past

Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow.

"I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.

"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me - even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.

"I held on to anger for years, telling myself it was justified. I was in denial about a lot of things. Sometimes, I'd try to absolutely forget about my past, but I never really stopped and sorted through it; my past was like a dark cloud that followed me around, and I couldn't shake clear of it. I guess I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.

Owning Our Power in Relationships

No matter how long we have been recovering, we may still tend to give up our power to others, whether they be authority figures, a new love, or a child.

When we do this, we experience the set of emotions and thoughts we call "the codependent crazies." We may feel angry, guilty, afraid, confused, and obsessed. We may feel dependent and needy or become overly controlling and rigid. We may return to familiar behaviors during stress. And for those of us who have codependency and adult children issues, relationships can mean stress.
We don't have to stay stuck in our codependency. We don't have to shame or blame ourselves, or the other person, for our condition. We simply need to remember to own our power.

Survivor Guilt

We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.

Then it hits. Guilt.

Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we've left behind - those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.

We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a non-recovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.

LAUGHTER

"We are all here for a spell, get
all the good laughs you can."
-- Will Rogers

When I first heard recovering alcoholics laughing, I thought I was
in the wrong place. I was angry that they treated the disease so lightly.
Then slowly I began to see that laughter is part of joy --- a deep joy that
comes from personal healing. Laughter is spiritual because it is a
positive response to life. It is the noise of optimism.

Sponsorship

"Dr. Bob led me through all of these Steps. At the moral inventory, he brought up some of my bad personality traits or character defects, such as selfishness, conceit, jealousy, carelessness, intolerance, ill-temper, sarcasm and resentments. We went over these at great length and then he finally asked me if I wanted these defects of character taken away. When I said yes, we both knelt at his desk and prayed . . . If I live to be a hundred, this will always stand out in my mind. I wish that every A.A. could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today." 
1976 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 292


Thought to Consider. . .

Faith and courage

A man of courage is also full of faith.
-- Cicero

Faith and courage walk hand in hand. Courage empowers us to act in favor of what we believe, but cannot know. Courage is animated by the vision of faith. It doesn't take any faith to perform an action that doesn't require a risk. Only when the outcome is uncertain, and the effort itself a feat of daring, must faith and courage come on the scene together to get the job done.

To reach out to another, if we have known frequent rejection, is to act courageously in spite of an uncertain outcome.