HAVING FUN YET?

When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that cloaked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, "am I having fun yet?"

Obedience

"Every newcomer, every friend who looks at A.A. for the first time is greatly puzzled. They see liberty verging on license, yet they recognize at once that A.A. has an irresistible strength of purpose and action . . . The A.A. member has to conform to the principles of recovery. His life depends upon obedience to spiritual principles."1981, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 129-30

God as we understood Him

Newcomer

I wince every time I hear the words "God as we understood Him" and "Higher Power." When meetings close with the Lord's Prayer, I feel like I'm being railroaded. I don't fit into the same religious slot that other people seem to take for granted.

Sponsor

All of us qualify to be here, but not because of any religious identification or belief. Most of us are tolerant of differences, but, being human, some of us forget that not everyone shares the same religious context. Whatever an individual member has to say about the role of his or her Higher Power, the only requirement for membership [in the Program] is the desire to stop using the addictive substance that got us here.

Refuge

From "for A.A.s, a Season of Gratitude" 

The holiday season can be difficult for many A.A.s, especially the newcomer. The pressure to drink may feel overwhelming when it seems all the world is hoisting glasses in one toast after another. At these times, the prospect of the usual round of holiday parties can be as inviting as a stroll in a minefield to the alcoholic struggling to stay away from the first drink.
 

 
The A.A. group, though, can be a refuge. Meeting marathons provide a safe place for recovering alcoholics who are on their own, as well as those looking for a break from family festivities. Some groups schedule dances or potluck dinners, providing a place to congregate and celebrate in sober fellowship. 

Help a newcomer

No one is brave every moment; each of us feels awkward, shy, perhaps even ugly or dumb part of the time. If we could understand that about each other, it would make it easier for us to be friendly and willing to talk to someone new. Instead, we often sit back, waiting to be noticed; waiting for someone to invite us to join in an activity.

We are all so much alike, yet we are so certain we're different. Being self-conscious is normal. Even those who are the most popular suffer the same fears as the rest of us.

Help

 We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort."

c. 1976 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 25-6

Thought to Consider . . .

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

AACRONYMS

S P O N S O R

Sober Person Offering Newcomers Suggestions On Recovery

How do I talk with new prospects

Thought for the Day

How do I talk with new prospects? Am I always trying to dominate the conversation? Do I lay down the law and tell prospects what they will have to do? Do I judge them privately and feel that they have small chance of making the program? Do I belittle them to myself? Or am I willing to bare my soul so as to get them talking about themselves? And, then, am I willing to be a good listener, not interrupting, but hearing them out to the end? Do I feel deeply that they are my brothers or my sisters? Will I do all I can to help them along the path to sobriety?

Meditation for the Day

Fellowship

A.A. Thought for the Day

We in A.A. are offering a kind of psychological program as well as a spiritual one. First, people must be mentally able to receive it. They must have made up their minds that they want to quit drinking, and they must be willing to do something about it. Their confidence must be obtained. We must show them that we are their friends and really desire to help them. When we have their confidence, they will listen to us. Then the A.A. fellowship is a kind of group therapy. Newcomers need the fellowship of other alcoholics who understand their problem because they have had it themselves. Individuals must learn to reeducate their minds. They must learn to think differently. Do I do my best to give mental help?

Meditation for the Day

IT'S OKAY TO BE ME

Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives . . . they have turned to easier methods . . . But they had not learned enough humility . . . 

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 72-73

Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself - and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally, it is okay to be me.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Newcomer
At a meeting I shared about a loss I've gone through, and the response was amazing. People expressed sympathy and understanding, and a number of them shared experiences of their own that were similar to mine. It surprised me. I'd told the same story at a different meeting, and people there didn't say a thing to me. I had left feeling like there was something wrong with me. I can't figure out what I did differently this time, maybe there was something about the way I shared.

Argue not concerning God

Newcomer
It's obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don't believe in God or a Higher Power?
Sponsor
We don't need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we're addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.
Whether or not we believe in God, most of us recognize that we don't live entirely independently. The phrase "a power greater than ourselves," from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don't run the universe. Whatever I believe about God's existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God - if I'm going to recover. I can't control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago; I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn't my intellect or will.
Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside - what some call their "better self," their "sense of right and wrong," their "higher self," or their "spirit" - that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.
Today, I accept that I'm not all-powerful.