Having surrendered our lives to God

Thought for the Day

Having surrendered our lives to God and put our drink problem in His hands doesn't mean that we'll never be tempted to drink. So we must build up strength for the time when temptation will come. In this quiet time, we read and pray and get our minds in the right mood for the day. Starting the day right is a great help in keeping sober. As the days go by and we get used to the sober life, it gets easier and easier. We begin to develop a deep gratitude to God for saving us from that old life. And we begin to enjoy peace and serenity and quiet happiness. Am I trying to live the way God wants me to live?

Meditation for the Day

One foot in front of the other.

Recovering men(women) know this path is not always easy. We usually talk about the benefits of recovery and the many promises of the program. Today, in our fellowship, we talk of the challenges we must face in order to recover. Honesty may be the greatest challenge. It is frightening to be honest with ourselves about things we have never really admitted or faced before.

Sometimes we have new and confusing feelings and think something must be wrong with us. But we may be just experiencing the logical outcome of our earlier commitment to be honest.

Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley

Thought for the Day
Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley refuse to be really honest with themselves or with other people. They're running away from life and won't face things as they are. They won't give up their resentments. They're too sensitive and too easily hurt. They refuse to try to be unselfish. They still want everything for themselves. And no matter how many disastrous experiences they have had with drinking, they still do it over and over again. There's only one way to get out of that blind alley way of living and that's to change your thinking. Have I changed my thinking?

Meditation for the Day

Resentments

This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. No man can progress in his recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns.

Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop.

Perfectionism

I was so mixed up I tried to be perfect at avoiding perfectionism!
-- Kathryn G.

One woman said she called one of her cats by the other cat's name and as a result spent the next two hours depressed. Most of us don't go that far with perfectionism, but we still make unreasonable demands of ourselves.

The "one year" test is a good one for perfectionism: "If I (fill in the blank), what difference will it make in a year?" Some things will be important in a year. Making meetings, contacting our sponsor, communing with our Higher Power, and being honest with ourselves and others are all important. And we should be concerned when we fail.

True to Ourselves

To thine own self be true. A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others.

Listen to the self. What do we need? Are those needs getting met? What do we feel? What do we need to do to take care of our feelings? What are our feelings telling us about ourselves and the direction we need to go?

What do we want to do or say? What are our instincts telling us? Trust them - even if they don't make sense or meet other people's rules and expectations.

Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves - the messages about our responsibilities toward others - can create a tremendous, complicated mess.

Second half of Step Ten

....................Second half of Step Ten.
We are human. We make mistakes. This is half the fun of being human.
Step Ten clearly tell us what to do when we are wrong: admit it. This
keeps us honest. It keeps us from hiding secrets that could cause us to
use alcohol or other drugs again.

Trust the gift we get from Step Ten. When we admit our wrongs, people
start to trust us again. We feel good, and people feel good being around us.
Even when they don’t like how we act, they can trust us to run our lives.
No one will ever be prefect. The closet we get is that we admit it when
we’re wrong. This is as good as it gets.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me admit my wrongs. Help me
earn the trust of others by being honest about my mistakes.

Action for the Day: I will list any wrongs I’ve done today. That way,
I’ll start tomorrow fresh and without any burdens from today.


from  Keep It Simple

I have learned how to be honest

Thought for the Day

Third, I have learned how to be honest. What a relief! No more ducking or dodging. No more tall tales. No more pretending to be what I am not. My cards are on the table for the entire world to see. "I am what I am," as Popeye used to say in the comics. I have had an unsavory past. I am sorry, yet. But it cannot be changed now. All that is yesterday and is done. But now my life is an open book. Come and look at it, if you want to. I'm trying to do the best I can. I will fail often, but I won't make excuses. I will face things as they are and not run away. Am I really honest?

Meditation for the Day

AN OPEN MIND

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

My alcoholic thinking led me to believe that I could control my drinking, but I couldn't. When I came to A.A., I realized that God was speaking to me through my group. My mind was open just enough to know that I needed His help.
 
 A real, honest acceptance of A.A. took more time, but with it came humility. I know how insane I was, and I am extremely grateful to have my sanity restored to me and to be a sober alcoholic. The new, sober me is a much better person than I ever could have been without A.A.

Being Honest with Ourselves

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.

When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.

When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.

When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what's important to us, we can relay this to others.

When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.

When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.

Standing For Something

In our active addiction, we were prepared to compromise everything we believed in just to get our hands on more drugs. Whether we stole from our families and friends, sold ourselves, or lied to our employers, we were ignoring the values that mattered most to us. Each time we compromised another dearly held belief, another chunk of the mortar holding our characters together fell away. By the time many of us came to our first meeting, nothing was left but the ruin of our former selves.

We will locate our lost values as we carry out our first honest self-examination. But in order to rebuild our characters, we'll find it necessary to maintain those values, no matter how great the temptation to shove them aside.

Amends

"Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem so embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God."
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 60
Copyright 1952 by A.A.W.S. Inc.

Thought to Consider . . . 
 
It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and to make amends for them.

AACRONYMS
 
H O W
Honest, Open-minded and Willing

Am I completely honest

Thought for the Day

"Those who do not recover are people who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault. They seem to be born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover, if they have the capacity to be honest." Am I completely honest with myself and with other people?

Meditation for the Day

Honesty in Relationships

Perhaps no area of our life reflects our uniqueness and individuality in recovery more than our relationships. Some of us are in a committed relationship. Some of us are dating. Some of us are not dating. Some of us are living with someone. Some of us wish we were dating. Some of us wish we were in a committed relationship. Some of us get into new relationships after recovery. Some of us stay in the relationship we were in before we began recovering.

We have other relationships too. We have friendships. Relationships with children, with parents, with extended family. We have professional relationships - relationships with people on the job
 

We need to be able to be honest and direct in our relationships. One area we can be honest and direct about is the parameters of our relationships. We can define our relationships to people, an idea written about by Charlotte Kasl and others, and we can ask them to be honest and direct about defining their vision of the relationship with us.

It is confusing to be in relationships and not know where we stand - whether this is on the job, in a friendship, with family members, or in a love relationship. We have a right to be direct about how we define the relationship - what we want it to be. But relationships equal two people who have equal rights. The other person needs to be able to define the relationship too. We have a right to know, and ask. So do they.

Directness

We never have to guess what they're really thinking or feeling, because they're honest about their thoughts and openly express their feelings.

We never have to wonder if they're with us because they want to be, or if they're there out of guilt and obligation.

When they do something for us, we don't have to worry whether they'll end up resenting us because direct people generally do things that please themselves.

We don't have to fuss about the status of our relationship because if we ask, they'll tell us.

It’s your choice

Right now, or three hours from now, or fourteen days from now, you have a choice. At any point in time, you can continue the way you’re going or you can choose a different path.

When you’re bound by seemingly endless obligations and limitations, you can choose how to think of them and how you will handle them. No matter how others treat you, or how outside events unfold, you can choose your next thought, your next move.

In what specific direction are your current choices leading you? Ask yourself and be honest, is that really where you wish to go?

Fellowship

"The fellowship I found in A.A. enabled me to face my problem honestly and squarely. I couldn't do it among my relatives, I couldn't do it among my friends. No one likes to admit they're a drunk, that they can't control this thing. But when we come into A.A., we can face our problem honestly and openly. I went to closed meetings and open meetings. And I took everything that A.A. had to give me. It was at that point I reached surrender." 1976 AAWS
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 340

Thought to Consider . . .

We honor the spirit in other people when we listen to them.

AACRONYMS

H O W
Honest, Open-minded and Willing

Inner Guidance

Things are not always as they seem, even with us. Sometimes we get settled into a routine in our program. We are beyond the early struggles with detachment and sobriety. We have encountered many of the benefits of recovery. We attend our meetings and we know the words and ideas of the program. Although it all looks good on the outside, when we're honest with ourselves, we know our spirit has gone flat. This is a serious situation and needs our attention.

When the inside feeling does not match our outside appearance, we need to become vulnerable again. We need to talk about how we really feel.

Surrender

Surrender is more than simply understanding that I can’t run the show my way anymore. Understanding that I am an addict and an alcoholic and that my way doesn’t work does not produce change. Insight, knowledge and understanding do nothing if I don’t change my behavior. Surrender is something I must do behaviorally. Simply saying I give up is not enough. I must become willing, open and honest in my surrender to a Higher Power.

What this means is that I constantly must seek out advice and suggestions from others in the program and then evaluate each of the ideas I receive. I must ask myself, “What would God want me to do?” I must become willing to let go and follow the suggestions I get.

Having our needs met.......

Other people can't meet our needs if we don't tell them what our needs are.

We need tenderness and caring from our families and friends. We need their acceptance, understanding, and support. Sometimes we need their criticism and forgiveness.

Whatever our needs are, other people will probably be involved in getting them met. If we expect those close to us to read our minds and know exactly what we want without being told, we will probably be disappointed.