THE 100% STEP

Long before I was able to obtain sobriety in A.A., I knew without a doubt that alcohol was killing me, yet even with this knowledge, I was unable to stop drinking. So, when faced with Step One, I found it easy to admit that I lacked the power to not drink. But was my life unmanageable? Never! Five months after coming into A.A., I was drinking again and wondered why.

TOLERANCE

Two of my biggest character defects are arrogance and fear. I used to have a hard time tolerating people who are not like me. When I was driven by fear, anger, and shame, I believed they threatened my social position. A normal day for me was filled with frustration and anger at people I didn’t like. Gossip was my language.

After I decided that I was truly powerless over my addiction and that my life had become really unmanageable, I surrendered. I started writing the suggested Step work and had a great awakening. In the 4th Step inventory, I came to the conclusion that I did not like “different people” because I was afraid to be like them. And what were they like? Just like me. I didn't like myself. That was one of the most revealing acknowledgements that were given to me. I have no reason to pick a fight anymore, nor discuss or judge any person. When I meet people I do not like, I know why.

Step One

Thought for the Day

This step states the membership requirement of A.A. We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of alcohol. We must admit that we are licked as far as drinking is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot drink like normal people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop drinking. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from normal drinkers?

Meditation for the Day

Fear

Powerless as we are, living on self-will is a frightening, unmanageable experience. In recovery, we have turned our will and our lives safely over to the care of the God of our understanding. When we lapse in our program, when we lose conscious contact with our Higher Power, we begin to take control of our own lives again, refusing the care of the God of our understanding. If we do not make a daily decision to surrender our lives to the care of our Higher Power, we may become overwhelmed with our fear of life.
Through working the Twelve Steps, we've found that faith in a Power greater than ourselves helps relieve our fear.

STEP 1 …foundation

It meant destruction of self-centeredness. (14: 1) STEP 1 …foundation… (12: 4)

Like Bill, we are alcoholics, and we have to hit bottom. The problem is our mental that leads us to take a drink, and our resulting physical compulsion to drink to excess. Our minds and lives are unmanageable; we must surrender. Working Step 1 begins when we become abstinent. We have to stop our personal addictive alcoholic behaviors so that our continued acting out does not hinder our surrender. If we are not drinking today, then we must abstain from that particular addictive thought or behavior that robs us of peace of mind.

This is a disease of isolation and loneliness. We are prisoners of our self-sufficiency, isolated inside. We admit we need to grow and that we are not free. We are people who appear to be sure of themselves but are actually eaten alive with fear inside. (193: 2) If anxiety is the existential basis of our addiction, then we must alter our fear, remorse, shame and guilt in order to find happiness so that we do not have to go back to drinking.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Thought for the Day

In the beginning of Alcoholics Anonymous there were only two persons. Now there are many groups and thousands of members. True, the surface has only been scratched. There are probably ten million or more persons in America alone who need our help. More and more people are making a start in A.A. each day. In the case of individual members, the beginning has been accomplished when they admit they are powerless and turn to a Power greater than themselves, admitting that their lives have become unmanageable. That Higher Power works for good in all things and helps us to accomplish much in individual growth and in the growth of A.A. groups. Am I doing my part in helping A.A. to grow?

Meditation for the Day

I Know Crazy When I See It

Step One precedes Step Two

Do crazy people know they're crazy? Schizophrenics usually say it depends on how sick they are -- their experience helps me understand why I was told "The Steps are in order for a reason."

Like all stairs, the Twelve Steps start at the bottom.

No matter how the bottom comes, I must admit that my life has become unmanageable before I can realistically expect to fix it. I need at least that little window into my own craziness.

We get here different ways. Some of us experience a "moment of clarity." Sometimes a loved one or a group of loved ones finally convinces us. Sometimes we just stumble into a situation that gobsmacks us (like the civilian who goes to a meeting just as a friend and hears his own story).

However my journey starts, I have to understand the line between sanity and the other thing, and to understand which side I'm on.

After years of denial, getting some clarity about my craziness seemed such a startling insight that I wanted to apply it everywhere! I wanted to enlighten every codependent and every alcoholic, addict, or otherwise sick person I knew, met, or even heard about.

They were sick and they needed to admit it.

Talk about crazy!