Oldtimers

"Many oldsters who have put our A.A. 'booze cure' to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. To attain this, we must develop real maturity and balance (which is to say humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God."
Bill W., AA Grapevine, January 1958
c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 244

Thought to Consider . . .

Newcomers are the lifeblood of the program, but our oldtimers are the arteries.

AACRONYMS

C H A N G E
Choosing Honesty Allows New Growth Every day

Should everybody like me?

It's a problem because it reflects a desire to have everybody's acceptance and approval - to be universally liked. But from what we know about human relationships, this is not possible. No matter how hard we work to be pleasant and likeable, some people may still detest us for reasons we cannot understand. When that happens, we should not blame ourselves or step up our efforts to win them over. Our best course is to be cordial to them and to avoid giving offense in any way.

If our own behavior is mature and reasonable, even the people who don't like us will at least respect us.

Not alone

How many of us gave ourselves away trying to fix painful childhood longings? We thought if we were good boys, good men, caretakers, we would have the love we wanted. Sadly, our remedies for childhood pain have often been childish solutions. Our need for security may have become a self-centered obsession and blocked our ability to hear our loved ones. We may have become so fervent about accepting others that we failed to stand up for ourselves and lost their respect.

Most of us reach adulthood with leftover pain no person could ever fix. We learn grown up responses by accepting our load of pain and by asking others for help. Intimacy and companionship reduce the weight. We tell our friends about our burdens, and we learn what they are carrying. In the process we grow in wisdom and maturity.

Today. I will remember I do not have to be alone with my pain

.From Touchstone