Live the program

Thought for the Day

The A.A. program is a way of life. It's a way of living and we have to learn to live the program if we're going to stay sober. The twelve steps in the book are like guide-posts. They point the direction in which we have to go. But all members of the group have to find their own best way to live the program. We don't all do it exactly alike. Whether by quiet times in the morning, meetings, working with others, or spreading the word, we have to learn to live the program. Has the A.A. way become my regular, natural way of living?

Meditation for the Day

A Step Poem

I took Step One, began to moan
I can’t do this one on my own.
I took Step Two, began to pray
Restore me God, please now, today.
I took Step Three, gave up my will
maybe God could love me still?
I took a Fourth, I looked inside
Nothing more would I hide.
And on the Fifth, I said aloud
“I’ve done some wrong, and I’m not proud.”

Awakening

"Alcoholism is a grievous and often fatal malady of the mind and body. We have found that these awful conditions invariably bring on the third phase of our malady. This is the sickness of the spirit; a sickness for which there must necessarily be a spiritual remedy. We A.A.'s recognize this in the first five words of Step Twelve.

The Twelve Steps

The Twelve Steps have powerfully guided me from just surviving to living.

~ Elizabeth Farrell ~

All questions can be answered and all conflicts resolved through our reliance on the Twelve Steps. Every relationship we have, no matter how insignificant, is enhanced when we accept the Twelve Steps as our philosophy for daily living. What powerful tools we have at our disposal!

The irony, of course, is that we resist using these Steps on occasion. We’d rather be miserable some days, resentful toward bosses or lovers. Or we’d rather be obsessed with controlling a friend, even when our friend clearly wants, and will get, her own way! We mar our journey, give up real living, because we revert to our old selves.

Yes, But

Sometimes I turn my back on the sunlight of the spirit

Twelve Step programs give us guidance, but we're told, understanding is not really very important -- "It works if you work it." I believe this, but (perversely) I'd still like to understand it.

Meetings, literature, and dialog with members provided me with information, useful truth, and specific actions. All I had to do was pay attention and the way to a better life was soon clear. It wasn't hard to get the right stuff into my head. However ...

I got it up here (point to head), but it just wasn't right here yet (fist to heart).

Powerlessness

Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

"Isn't it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous? Already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one's own will and one's own ideas about the alcohol problem in favor of those suggested by A.A. A willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is not turning one's will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what is it?"


Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pg. 35

Happiness is something we all deserve

I believe that a sign of maturity is accepting deferred gratification.
  —Peggy Cahn

It's okay to want to feel good all the time. Happiness is something we all deserve. However, there are often preparatory steps we need to take, a number of which will not bring joy, before we arrive at a place of sustained happiness.

The level of our pain at any particular moment has prompted us to seek short-term highs. And with each attempt at a quick "fix," we will be reminded that, just as with our many former attempts, the high is very short-term.

"The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety"

by Bill Wilson I think that many oldsters who have put our AA "booze cure" to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA -- the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.
Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance -- urges quite appropriate to age seventeen -- prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven or fifty-seven. 

Since AA began, I've taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually. My God, how painful it is to keep demanding the impossible, and how very painful to discover finally, that all along we have had the cart before the horse! Then comes the final agony of seeing how awfully wrong we have been, but still finding ourselves unable to get off the emotional merry-go-round.

My Story

Hi everyone Donna S alcoholic

 I remember anger well, it was all i knew for so long. I didn't know how to handle life's situations, and my anger became rage and i took it out on myself ( Self Harm) plus break things, living recklessly. Drinking and drugging would numb how i felt about life, about my anger and eventually turned into depression. 

I came to AA when i was 28, as my husband had enough of me and was going leave with my sons. I have 2 sons, my oldest was 5 , youngest 3, I walked around town drunk and disorderly and in blackouts, with my sons thinking I was a great mom HA. So off to to rehab  I went. I didn't drive at this time, as i lost my license years before so I had to get rides to meetings, which caused more issues as i didn't come home until very late at night.

By Working the Steps...

 

“We examined our lives and discovered who we really are.  To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves.”

Basic Text, p. 36

As using addicts, the demands of our disease determined our personality.  We could be whoever or whatever we needed to be in order to get our “fix.”  We were survival machines, adapting easily to every circumstance of the using life.

The gifts we receive are meant to be shared.

Thanks to the progress I am making in recovery, I like to think I am more loving, more open, more spontaneous, more confident. I believe these gifts have come to me through my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and the friends who have helped me grow.

If I am to keep the gifts, I must share them. They are mine as long as I give them away. To do that I need to realize we're all working toward a similar goal: that of developing our potential and becoming who we are meant to be. We help each other toward this goal by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.

Our own recovery

“The steps are our solution.  They are our survival kit.  They are our defense against addiction, a deadly disease.  Our steps are the principles that make our recovery possible.”

Basic Text, p. 19

 

There’s lots to like in recovery.  The meetings, for one, are great.  We get to see our friends, hear some inspiring stories, share some practical experience, maybe even hook up with our sponsor.  The camp outs, the conventions, the dances are all wonderful, clean fun in the company of other recovering addicts.  But the heart of our recovery program is the Twelve Steps—in fact, they are the program!

We’ve heard it said that we can’t stay clean by osmosis—in other words, we can’t just attend meetings, no matter how many, and expect to breathe recovery in through the pores of our skin.  Recovery, as another saying goes, is an inside job.  And the tools we use in working that “inside job” are the Twelve Steps.  Hearing endlessly about acceptance is one thing; working the First Step for ourselves is something very different.  Stories about making amends may be inspiring, yet nothing will give us the freedom from remorse that taking the Ninth Step ourselves will give.  The same applies to all Twelve Steps.

There’s much to appreciate about recovery, but to get the most from our recovery we must work the Twelve Steps for ourselves.

Just for today:  I want everything my personal program has to offer.  I will work the steps for myself.

http://www.jftna.org/jft

Rationalizing away our recovery

 

As a result of the Twelve Steps, I’m not able to hold on to old ways of deceiving myself.”

 

We all rationalize.  Sometimes we know we are rationalizing, admit we are rationalizing, yet continue to behave according to our rationalizations!  Recovery can become very painful when we decide that, for one reason or another, the simple principles of the program don’t apply to us.

With the help of our sponsor and others in NA, AA, SH,OA we can begin to look at the excuses we use for our behavior.  Do we find that some principles just don’t apply to us?  Do we believe that we know more than everyone else in recovery, even those who have been clean for many years?  What makes us think that we’re so special?

There is no doubt, we can successfully rationalize our way through part of our recovery.  But, eventually, we must squarely face the truth and start acting accordingly.  The principles in the Twelve Steps guide us to a new life in recovery.  There is little room for rationalization there.

Just for today:  I cannot work the steps and also continue deceiving myself.  I will examine my thinking for rationalizations, reveal them to my sponsor, and be rid of them.

Self-centeredness

“The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness.”

Basic Text, p. 20

What is self-centeredness?  It is our belief that the world revolves around us.  Our wishes, our demands are the only ones worth consideration.  Our self-centered minds believe they are capable of getting everything they want if only they would be left to their own devices.  Self-centeredness assumes total self-sufficiency.

We say that self-centeredness is the spiritual part of our disease because the self-centered mind cannot conceive of anything greater or more important than itself.  But there is a spiritual solution to our spiritual malady: the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous.  The steps lead us away from self-centeredness and toward God-centeredness.

We strip away our delusion of self-sufficiency by admitting our own powerlessness and seeking the aid of a Power greater than ourselves.  We acknowledge the bankruptcy of our self-righteousness by admitting we’ve been wrong, making amends, and seeking knowledge of what’s right from the God our understanding.  And we deflate our overwhelming sense of self-importance by seeking to serve others, not only ourselves.

The self-centeredness afflicting our spirit can be treated with a spiritual solution: the Twelve Steps.

Just for today:  My guidance and my strength comes from a Higher Power, not from my own self.  I will practice the Twelve Steps to become more God-centered and less self-centered.

A New Life

Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.

Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy, regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our awakening, through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

from the book; As Bill See's It

12 Principles of Alcoholics Anonymous

 

In recovery, we try to take the opposite of our character defects/shortcomings and turn them into principles.
 The 12 Steps of AA ARE the Principles of the Program that we practice, as listed on BigBook pages 59 and 60! Over the years many lists of virtues that correspond to each of the Twelve Steps and their underlying spiritual nature have been printed in local area AA newsletters and on pocket cards.

1. Honesty: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct; adherence to the facts
2. Hope: desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment; expectation of fulfillment or success; someone or something on which hopes are centered

3. Faith: allegiance to duty or a person; loyalty; fidelity to one's promises; sincerity of intentions; firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust;
something that is believed especially with strong conviction. Re. religion: belief and trust in and loyalty to God; belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

4. Courage: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

5. Integrity: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; incorruptibility; an unimpaired condition; soundness; the quality or state of being complete or undivided

Take Action

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
--Edward Everett Hale

We once heard someone say, "Knowing doesn't keep you sober, doing does." We got the point. Our actions, not strictly our knowledge, will help us stay sober. Recovery is a program of action, of doing something that will contribute to our recovery today.

All the knowledge in the world won't help us recover if we don't use what we've learned. Like good intentions, knowledge is only the beginning. Next, we must do - and not do - the things we've learned will help us make progress in recovery.

Defining good in my life is up to me.

We've heard, "Life is as good as we make it," but this sounds far too simplistic. We look at friends, family, and co-workers and often see much unhappiness. If it's up to us to make life good, why do so few take advantage of the opportunity?

It's not that we don't want happiness. All of us do. But many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we're happy. When the boss compliments our work, we're happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we're worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. Fortunately, we are in the right place to acquire these skills.

Twelve Step programs will teach us, if we are ready to take responsibility for our own happiness. Our program friends are learning how to rely on their inner wisdom and their God, and we are learning from their example.
It's really only a simple change in perspective. It's looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There's no mystery to it. We can do it just as they are doing it.

I will monitor how I evaluate my experiences today. Living peacefully and happily is up to me.

The 12 Step Prayers

The Twelve Step Prayers were created using the text of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.  The text used to develop the prayers are shown at the end of the prayer in parenthesis.  My hope is that these prayers will provide a framework for you to develop your own or expand on the wording below.

The Set Aside Prayer

"Dear God please help me to set aside everything I think I know about [people. place or thing] so I may have an open mind and a new experience.  Please help me to see the truth about [people. place or thing]. AMEN." (This prayer comes from the Chapter to the Agnostic, primarily pages 47 and 48 Big Book ).



First Step Prayer

Dear Lord, Help me to see and admit that I am powerless over my alcoholism. Help me to understand how my alcoholism has led to unmanageability in my life. Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness. Remove from me all denial of my alcoholism. (This prayer is developed from the chapter, More About Alcoholism)

Second Step Prayer

Heavenly Father, I am having trouble with personal relationships. I can’t control my emotional nature. I am prey to misery and depression. I can’t make a living. I feel useless. I am full of fear. I am unhappy. I can’t seem to be of real help to others. I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity if I am just willing to stop doubting your power. I humbly ask that you help me to understand that it is more powerful to believe than not to believe and that you are either everything or nothing. (p. 52:2, 52:3, 53:1, 53:2  Big Book  )

When the 12 Steps are applied – and practiced,

They will:

Remove the mental obsession with alcohol.

Eliminate the emotional compulsion to drink

Produce a personality change – necessary for recovery

Produce a new attitude and outlook on life