Hi everyone Donna S alcoholic
I remember anger well, it was all i knew for so long. I didn't know how to handle life's situations, and my anger became rage and i took it out on myself ( Self Harm) plus break things, living recklessly. Drinking and drugging would numb how i felt about life, about my anger and eventually turned into depression.
I came to AA when i was 28, as my husband had enough of me and was going leave with my sons. I have 2 sons, my oldest was 5 , youngest 3, I walked around town drunk and disorderly and in blackouts, with my sons thinking I was a great mom HA. So off to to rehab I went. I didn't drive at this time, as i lost my license years before so I had to get rides to meetings, which caused more issues as i didn't come home until very late at night.
I was involved in meetings and went out and spoke, I think of it now and i must have spewed a bunch of lies. I stayed dry 4 or 5 years and then relapsed.
I OD' 2 times and brought back. I now lived a life of periodic drinking, became a workaholic,and living an insane life style with no regards to my family. I was a horrible mother, wife, daughter, and sister. and friend. My kids missed out on a happy home with a mother who was responsible and who didn't teach them how to cope, so today they struggle with coping with issues in their life. They have no idea what a real relationship is.
I came back to AA in 1999, my last drink was 1-12-99, my sobriety date is 1-30-99 as it took me till then to go to a meeting and surrender to the fact I am an real alcoholic. I found a sponsor, a home group and she got me very involved. I learned just going to meetings doesn't keep me sober as my problem was I didn't have a connection with a Higher Power and although i was very grateful for my sobriety i was still living a life for Donna. I still was not regarding my responsibilities as a wife and mother. I almost picked up a drink at the beginning of my 6th year as i put myself in a situation at an AA convention and something horrible came of it. My first reaction was to drink but, because i have a great support group ( VERY IMPORTANT) I didn't pick up. I got a new sponsor ( mine passed away) and i went through the 12 Steps out the big book. God sought me out and I grabbed hold tight!
My gratitude goes deep to the people who never gave up on me.
I celebrate to show you it is possible..no matter what u r going thru it isn't worth the drink/drug, you can get thru it!! WE are here, and will not judge you. I am amazed at where i am at today...i never thought it would be possible to rebuild my marriage,the relations with my sons and my parents/brothers. It took time for them to SEE how i changed from who i was, showing my sons coping tools to there problems, building them up with confidence, showing my husband the love i never showed. I had to learn balance... to Much of anything isn't good for me .... and i try to give back what was so freely given to me.
I've been coming to StepChat i think 6 years now. Ive meet a bunch of great people, support and I sponsor people.
So thank you all, I didn't do this alone, God and you all
Have a great 24 and don't pick up that first one!!
2017
I remember anger well, it was all i knew for so long. I didn't know how to handle life's situations, and my anger became rage and i took it out on myself ( Self Harm) plus break things, living recklessly. Drinking and drugging would numb how i felt about life, about my anger and eventually turned into depression.
I came to AA when i was 28, as my husband had enough of me and was going leave with my sons. I have 2 sons, my oldest was 5 , youngest 3, I walked around town drunk and disorderly and in blackouts, with my sons thinking I was a great mom HA. So off to to rehab I went. I didn't drive at this time, as i lost my license years before so I had to get rides to meetings, which caused more issues as i didn't come home until very late at night.
I was involved in meetings and went out and spoke, I think of it now and i must have spewed a bunch of lies. I stayed dry 4 or 5 years and then relapsed.
I OD' 2 times and brought back. I now lived a life of periodic drinking, became a workaholic,and living an insane life style with no regards to my family. I was a horrible mother, wife, daughter, and sister. and friend. My kids missed out on a happy home with a mother who was responsible and who didn't teach them how to cope, so today they struggle with coping with issues in their life. They have no idea what a real relationship is.
I came back to AA in 1999, my last drink was 1-12-99, my sobriety date is 1-30-99 as it took me till then to go to a meeting and surrender to the fact I am an real alcoholic. I found a sponsor, a home group and she got me very involved. I learned just going to meetings doesn't keep me sober as my problem was I didn't have a connection with a Higher Power and although i was very grateful for my sobriety i was still living a life for Donna. I still was not regarding my responsibilities as a wife and mother. I almost picked up a drink at the beginning of my 6th year as i put myself in a situation at an AA convention and something horrible came of it. My first reaction was to drink but, because i have a great support group ( VERY IMPORTANT) I didn't pick up. I got a new sponsor ( mine passed away) and i went through the 12 Steps out the big book. God sought me out and I grabbed hold tight!
My gratitude goes deep to the people who never gave up on me.
I celebrate to show you it is possible..no matter what u r going thru it isn't worth the drink/drug, you can get thru it!! WE are here, and will not judge you. I am amazed at where i am at today...i never thought it would be possible to rebuild my marriage,the relations with my sons and my parents/brothers. It took time for them to SEE how i changed from who i was, showing my sons coping tools to there problems, building them up with confidence, showing my husband the love i never showed. I had to learn balance... to Much of anything isn't good for me .... and i try to give back what was so freely given to me.
I've been coming to StepChat i think 6 years now. Ive meet a bunch of great people, support and I sponsor people.
So thank you all, I didn't do this alone, God and you all
Have a great 24 and don't pick up that first one!!
2017
No comments:
Post a Comment