SEEKING EMOTIONAL STABILITY

When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 116


All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of God, I have admitted my powerlessness over people, places and things.

Overdependence on Others

Dependency (on another human being) is the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another.
  —M. Scott Peck

No matter what we may think, overdependence on another can be very unloving because it drains others of any chance for personal growth. Those of us who have been dependent on other people are so busy acquiring love that we ourselves have no energy left to truly give love. It's as if we're starving and scrambling for every little bit of love we can find, with no thought to offering it to others. No wonder they often quickly get tired of us.

"Attach" ourselves to others

Needing people in our lives is healthy, human and natural. Needing a single person to love at a very deep level, is also soothing to the soul's well-being. Love and attachment are not synonymous, however. They are close to being opposites. If we "attach" ourselves to others, our movements as separate individuals are hampered. Attachment means dependency; it means letting our movements be controlled by the one we are "hooked" to.
Dependency on mood-altering chemicals, on food, on people, means unmanageability in our individual lives. Many of us in this recovery program, though abstinent, still struggle with our dependency on a certain person or a certain friend.