F.E.A.R.

F.E.A.R. = Frustration, Ego, Anxiety and Resentment
--Anonymous


We don't want to return to the life we led before recovery, but fear should never be the reason why we don't. Fear keeps us from being open to the Program. If we're only in the Program because we're afraid of the old way of life, we'll never pay attention and open our souls to learn about the new way. We'll be too busy looking back over our shoulders to make sure the old life isn't creeping up on us.

Detachment means "freedom from emotion."

 
Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.

Acceptance

 Donna S alcoholic,

 Acceptance is one I have to work on a lot. First I had to accept I was defeated when it came to alcohol or any kid of drugs. I could not have one, I am not a social drinker! So I had to accept that or I would continue to go back out.

Then I had to accept that if I don't do any action work on myself, I am not going to change. Acceptance isn't easy, but my biggest challenge with acceptance is of other people.
 

By Working the Steps...

 

“We examined our lives and discovered who we really are.  To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves.”

Basic Text, p. 36

As using addicts, the demands of our disease determined our personality.  We could be whoever or whatever we needed to be in order to get our “fix.”  We were survival machines, adapting easily to every circumstance of the using life.

One Small Change

The change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors and thus change many things.”
--JEAN BAER

Our behavior tells others and ourselves who we are. Frequently, we find ourselves behaving in ways that keep us stuck or embarrass us. Or we may feel deep shame for our behavior in a certain instance. Our behavior will never totally please us. But deciding we want to change some behavior and using the program to help us is a first step.