"Chapter 5 "How It Works" page 67 FEAR
FOOTNOTE: Now for the second part of our inventory. This manifestation of our character defects is FEAR
“Fear” defined. Webster’s Dictionary defines “fear” as a feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by the expectation of danger, pain, disaster or the like (being found out, being known for what you know or think you are). It is said that the driving force in the life of most alcoholics is the self-centered fear that we will lose something we have or that we will not get something we think we need or want.
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Notice that the word "fear" is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife.
This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve.
But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly.
We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.
We asked ourselves why we had them.
Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.
Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.
We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.
We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness.
ShenLove has joined.
Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage.
They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.
I lived in fear all my life....it ran my life and robbed me of so much.
I had such fear that I had major anxiety attacks.
When I came to AA this time I wanted to be rid of how I felt,
but it took time and a few sponsors till I found one to help me
go back through my steps as outlined in the big book that I was able to see my fears in black and white.
Talking bout them did some good, but to actually see them and look at them
was different for me. I was able to see the root of each fear and where it came from. She had me write out all my fears and then write where they came from
childhood, adolescence or adult and what caused me to have that fear.
Then I had to pray about it and for the person who might have caused me such fear and trust God of my understanding to help me let go.
This was getting me ready for the 8th & 9th step where I would be able to let go and forgive. It took time, my fears didn't just poof.
I had to honestly trust in my god to help me with the fear of people, places and things. I had to learn to walk threw these fears and it was amazing how awesome I felt when I did. I was able to let go of a lot fear over the years, They don't kill ya lol and I didn't need a drink to it!
I had the help of my God , my sponsor and a few choice peeps i talk to
that helped me see that I would be OK.
I trusted them as i saw they did it they were no longer living in "fear".
What a freeing experience to not have to live in fear all the time!!
I still have some fear's today, but they don't own me! I do what I can not to live in them!
for listening.
Have a wonderful blessed day, unless you made other plans!
Donna S. 1/30/99
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