Lessons to teach

 

Life has lessons to teach. We can remember them and share them with others, or we can forget them and have to learn them again. --Jan Pishok


What we are destined to learn in this life will keep presenting itself until "contact" has been made. Each experience is a minute part of the big picture that's unfolding. We will receive the information we need, again and again if necessary. Let's give up our fear about where we are going and how we'll get there. We are in caring, capable hands. We will get to the right destination on time.

Twelfth step work

Thought for the Day

In twelfth step work, the second thing is confession. By frankly sharing with prospects, we get them talking about their own experiences. They will open up and confess things to us that they haven't been able to tell other people. And they feel better when this confession has been made. It's a great load off their minds to get these things out into the open. It's the things that are kept hidden that weigh on the mind. They feel a sense of release and freedom when they have opened up their hearts to us. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to help them to make a confession?

Meditation of the Day

Sharing about ourselves

Thought for the Day

If we get up in a meeting and tell some thing about ourselves in order to help the other person, we feel a whole lot better. It's the old law of the more you give the more you get. Witnessing and confession are part of keeping sober. You never know when you may help somebody. Helping others is one of the best ways to stay sober your self. And the satisfaction you get out of helping a fellow human being is one of the finest experiences you can have. Am I helping others?

Meditation for the Day

Self Esteem

 I was never honest with myself or any one else, I leaned to lie at a very early age.

So when I finally surrendered to this disease and redid my step work,

honesty was a big key as was  surrendering. I found if I wasn't willing to be honest in
my 3rd step, I would have trouble in my 4th thru 9th. If  I didn't surrender my will over to
a HP, I was really going to have trouble with 4th thru 9.
So, before I got to this point, let me tell u a little about where I was at when I came
back to AA in 1999.  I was done drinking and I was so beat down in every aspect of life.

I had NO self esteem and didn't know how to have any. I been thru so much my whole life

from my dad, brothers and people over the years telling me i wasn't any good.

They told me I was a  failure and  I wouldn't amount to anything, that I was ugly, fat and no one would ever want to be with me, I was picked on as a kid , teased, etc.

Well when u grow up like that, you believe it . So alcohol took me out of feeling like that.

I was dressing in an inappropriate ways to be noticed, being a people pleaser so people would like me, needing men to like me to feel better about myself, and fill that empty void Ive felt all my life.  My first 5 years in recovery I was still like that. i didn't understand HOW to change it.

Just because we are in recovery not everyone is here for the same thing!

Men hit on me and that made me feel good about myself. I came to find out all they wanted was to fill there need and it  made my self esteem sink lower. I just didn't know how to make myself feel better about ME!

So like I stated I redid my steps with a new sponsor, as I hit an emotional bottom at the
end of my 5th year. On Step 1 I saw how powerless I was over alcohol and  how unmanageable my life was with alcohol and with out alcohol. So I was finally came to believe in Power Greater
then myself in Step 2, and in Step 3 I  gave my life over to a HP,  whom I choose to call God.
In my 4th thru 7th Step , I found from being honest and looking at my defects, seeing my fears I was able to give them over to God. I was willing to let go of the old self and find a healthy ideal of relationships. In Steps 8 and 9 i made the amends I needed and my whole outlook on life changed!
In Steps 10 thru 12, I continue to look at my life each day and and see if I need to make amends and what I i may need to change. Meditation and prayer  each day furthers my spiritual outlook on life and I continue to work with others which secures me another day and helps me to continue to grow.
Today I don't  need to dress up or put on an act for people to like me. I   like myself and love who I am, and if others don't it is there loss!

What you  see in this room, is what I am like out side this room and at f2f. I love to have fun, I  love to laugh and joke around but, I am serious about my recovery!! It is #1 and I work at it everyday.
I found thru this process, if I am not willing to change who I was, I will stay that miserable person I was when drinking, and that I no long want for myself. I work on building my self esteem up and God has shown me a new way to behave today and for that I am so truly grateful!!

Thanks for letting me share, I love you all

StepChat

Resentment- my share

Resentment causes no harm to the subject of it’s obsession, but it’s like a mental cancer to the person under its control. It’s such a threat to happiness and peace of mind that the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous mentions it in at least five places. Here’s what it has to say:

“Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic.”

 BB p.117, To Wives 

“Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.”

 BB p.84, Into Action 

“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.” 

BB p.66, How It Works 

“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.” 

BB p.64, How It Works 

‘The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear.” 

BB p.145, To Employers

**************

 hello everyone   Donna S grateful alcoholic from NJ

Resentments is one i can't afford to have.... but I get them.

Big Book pg 76-82 -my share Step 6 thru 9

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pg 76-82

Donna S grateful Alcoholic from NJ


 Starting back with Step 6.... I reailzed that if I didn't have a good connection with a higher power that I would have trouble with Step 6, 7, 8, & 9 which I did the first time I did the Step work. I didn't really get Step 3 so my 4th & 5th were half heartily, so when I got to Step 6 the second time I redid my steps, I understood I had to Pray again for more willingness. That's all I had to do and look at the defects  I had which I found in my 4th step. By now I basically knew which defects were very troublesome . I KNEW if I continued with those defects I WAS going to drink , as I almost did, as i have mentioned many times in here.  I found I had to have a total willingness to let them go in Step7.  I had to ask my Higher Power to take them from me.... meaning I had to LET THEM GO.

Chapter 5 How It works -pg 67-68 - FEAR

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Donna S grateful alcoholic from NJ

When I got to this part of the 4th step I was like, I KNOW THIS,
I LIVE IN IT.
Fear froze me for a very long time and drinking helped me to not have fear
so it was a reason to drink, as I can do anything with a drink.
I was in so much fear I couldn't talk to people with out a drink.
I couldn't walk the dog with out a drink or go to the park with my kids with
out a 6 pack and bottle of J.D. and then I was miss chatty,OVER CHATTY

Over time we stopped going out as I couldn't handle my drinking. I would be brought home by the police, which wasn't good as we were in politics in town.
So I drank at home, only going out to go to get my beer and J.D.

Chapter 5 How it Works- page 63-67 Resentments

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Donna S. grateful alcoholic

When I first was introduced to the step 4 I was clueless and my sponsor was even more clueless. She read the big book to me ...Step 4
and then handed me a bunch of work sheets and said fill them out
no direction, no if u have a problem ask. I coped a resentment lol

SO I eventually asked someone I saw change and she mentioned she did the steps over and would take me threw. We read this part of the big book and she told me to write out all the people, institutions and principles I knew.

I went down my list of people and wrote thier name ,then the cause of why I was resentful in 7 words or less ,that when we did the 5th step I could get more into detail. Then what it effected, Self-esteem (fear), Security, Our Ambitions, Personal relationships, pocketbook, Sex relations, or pride.

Chapter 2 THERE IS A SOLUTION

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Hello everyone Donna S grateful alcoholic from NJ

I love this Chapter, as it tells me..a hopeless alcoholic, that there IS a solution.

It is here in the big book that tells me I am not alone and there are others like me...and they have found that solution and are here to help me.
Not yell at me or tell me I am no good and i dont care or I ruin everything
or I will never amount to anything. They are here to tell me it is OK, weve been in your shoes and we found a way out. You don't ever have to drink again, if you are willing to grow along spiritual lines with the 12 Steps.

MY Share on THERE IS A SOLUTION- page 23-29-

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Donna S. grateful alcoholic,

What stuck out for me was ...HOPE. There's hope for me to not pick up that first drink, hope for a better way of living then the way i was. I was a dry drunk for a 4 years back in 1987. I know that feeling of doom when u stop drinking. I had no tools or design for living. I mean it was there , I went to meetings and  rehab but i didn't want them. I lived in the insanity, mental torture in my head waiting it out till i could drink again. Thinking this time I will be ok, I wont drink like i did before, that i could handle it this time.

Topics-Unity and Attitude-my share

Hello Donna S grateful alcoholic from NJ

Tradition One—“Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity."

With out unity I would be drunk or dead.
I found out I cant do this alone and I need the fellowship.
I need others to help me when i am lost, not sure, feeling alone,have a question, and to help me grow along spiritual lines.
Attitude is a biggy and I always had a crumby attitude. I saw black never white.
One of the things i was told was lose the attitude
when i first came in i went to rehab and after a while we had to fill out these ditto sheets about the other people in room

Working With Others ( share)

Step Twelve Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This chapter, which is called "Working With Others", gives us the part of Step Twelve that deals only with ways to carrying this message to other alcoholics. When WE work with others, OUR lives change. we don't help another alcoholic because THEIR sick, we help another alcoholic because WE are sick, and part of our program of recovery is that we need to be helping others.

Chapter 11 - "A Vision for You"-Share

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Donna S grateful alcoholic from NJ

Grateful for another day and the big book and those who have gone before me to help me in my journey

For me this chapter reviews the experience strength & hope of how it works.
Coming in I was so hopeless, broken and desperate to stop drinking.  I lost my values ,my zest for life & my spirituality.

"Chapter 5 "How It Works" page 67 FEAR--share

 "Chapter 5 "How It Works" page 67  FEAR

 FOOTNOTE: Now for the second part of our inventory.  This manifestation of our character defects is FEAR
“Fear” defined. Webster’s Dictionary defines “fear” as a feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by the expectation of danger, pain, disaster or the like (being found out, being known for what you know or think you are). It is said that the driving force in the life of most alcoholics is the self-centered fear that we will lose something we have or that we will not get something we think we need or want.
END
~~~~~

Detachment--share

from the book  

A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

Detachment means "freedom from emotion."  Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.  At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.  I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come.

My share from meeting at StepChat 5/27/12

hello ,Donna S grateful  alcoholic from NJ
 grateful to be here today

 I remember when I came back into the rooms how shaky I was not knowing how or what really to expect except not to drink. I knew I didn't want to drink anymore I had enough. My last drunk I went into a blackout and got in a 5 car accident. I don't remember any thing except talking my way out of it.  I don't miss that life!!  

When I came in I didn't understand how someone changed or what this big book or step book meant . Yes it helped you but it was all words to me but after time by going to lots of meetings and learning to hang with others who had a honest desire to stay sober and listened to the people who had good sobriety. I was also hooked up online in a fobw chat room and met people there but my only issue was I didn't find the Power greater then me that they talked about, so I kept clinging to the wrong people but I also stuck close to the ones who had serenity/sobriety.  

A Power Greater Then Myself--share

I learned being around the rooms of A.A. for 4 years prior to coming back this time, that I had to find a power greater then myself in order to grow. I never got this when I first entered the rooms and as a result I was domed to repeat.

I thought I could find an easier way on my own, but as always my way got me drunk. Before entering the rooms this time I had what is know as a spiritual awaking.

Acceptance--share

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.