Willing to Make Amends

This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard heartedness - one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love.

In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love.

We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, "Sorry!" We make our list, not to feel guilty, but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins - within us.

It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry.

Step Eight

The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord.

We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list.

Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we've ever done, everyone we've come in contract with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed.

Big Book pg 76-82 -my share Step 6 thru 9

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pg 76-82

Donna S grateful Alcoholic from NJ


 Starting back with Step 6.... I reailzed that if I didn't have a good connection with a higher power that I would have trouble with Step 6, 7, 8, & 9 which I did the first time I did the Step work. I didn't really get Step 3 so my 4th & 5th were half heartily, so when I got to Step 6 the second time I redid my steps, I understood I had to Pray again for more willingness. That's all I had to do and look at the defects  I had which I found in my 4th step. By now I basically knew which defects were very troublesome . I KNEW if I continued with those defects I WAS going to drink , as I almost did, as i have mentioned many times in here.  I found I had to have a total willingness to let them go in Step7.  I had to ask my Higher Power to take them from me.... meaning I had to LET THEM GO.