Egomania

"Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist on dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much. If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our own incessant demands . . . We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society."
1952 AAWS
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 53

Thought to Consider . . .

It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and to make amends for them.

AACRONYMS

E G O
Easing God Out

Acceptance frees us

Conflict can result from trying to change a person or situation that we don't like. And conflict causes stress and agitation, both of which limit our lives. They steal our ability to be open to opportunities for growth and change.

Why is it so hard to accept situations we don't like? Twelve Step programs tell us it's because of our ego. We feel diminished when others don't agree with our plan or our opinion. Our self-worth is tied to other people's reactions.

But we can change. We can let the success stories we hear in this program inspire us to let others be.

REALITY

In my addiction I avoided things that I did not like, did not want to consider. I hid from life and condemned things I did not wish to understand. My ego created a hypocritical purity that enabled me to judge, condemn and abuse the thoughts and ideas of those I considered inferior to myself.
Today I try to live and let live. I do this not to avoid conflict or criticism but because I have found, through experience, how my ideas and attitudes have changed during my years of recovery. People who I would have condemned to Hell have now become my friends and mentors.

Wisdom

Wisdom begins in seeing how much we do not know. Sometimes it's a painful blow to our egos to face what we still have to learn. Many of us have believed we know how to live. Yet, when we look at our lives, we see something has been missing. When we continue to have great stress, when we haven't made progress in simplifying our lives, when our lives seem full of crises - perhaps then it is time to open ourselves to some new learning.

We can talk to sponsors and get ideas from group members. Perhaps they have noticed our blind spots and will tell us if asked.

I will let myself be human today

Requesting help. Admitting we are wrong. Owning our mistake in either a big or small matter. Asking for another chance or someone's love. All very difficult to do, and yet necessary if we are to grow. The difficulty is our pride, the big ego. We think, "We need to always be right. If we're wrong, then others may think less of us, look down on us, and question our worth." Perfectionism versus worthlessness.

If we are not perfect (and of course we never are), then we must be worthless. In between these two points on the scale is "being human." Our emotional growth, as women (men), is equal to how readily we accept our humanness, how able we are to be wrong.

Seek guidance

We are learning to seek guidance on how to handle the serious circumstances of our lives. We used to feel we had to figure out everything for ourselves. What a gift it is to seek suggestions from friends we can trust. And hearing others tell how a line in a book gave them a needed answer has become a valuable tool too.

Relying on the silence for our answers, we are less certain at first. We can't always tell if it's our ego directing us rather than our Higher Power. The important thing is that we are looking for help. We are no longer blocked by our need to be self-reliant in all matters.

Twelve Traditions

On Sunday morning – the last day of the [1950 International] Convention – I found those Twelve Traditions still on my mind. Each of them I saw is an exercise in humility that can guard us in everyday A.A. affairs and protect us from ourselves. If A.A. were really guided by the Twelve Traditions, we could not possibly be split apart by politics, religion, money, or by any old-timers who might take a notion to be big shots.
 

With none of us throwing our weight around in public, nobody could possibly exploit A.A. for personal advantage, that is sure. For the first time I saw A.A.’s anonymity for what it really is. It isn't just something to save us from alcoholic shame and stigma; its deeper purpose is actually to keep those fool egos of ours from running hog wild after money and public fame at A.A.'s expense.

Attitudes

"We find that our old attitudes toward our instincts need to undergo drastic revisions. Our desires for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and power, for romance, and for family satisfactions - all these have to be tempered and redirected. If we place instincts first, we have got the cart before the horse; we shall be pulled backward into disillusionment.

Humility

Humility is that virtue which reduces me to the proper size without degrading me, and increases me in statue without inflating me.

Humility-- leveling of the ego--Right sized

Finally, one day, Dr. Silkworth took me back down to (my right size.) Said he, "Bill, why don't you quit talking so much about that bright light experience of yours, it sounds too crazy. Though I'm convinced that nothing but better morals will make alcoholics really well, I do think you have got the cart before the horse.