I started a Web Site in 1999 when I came back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Tripod decided to block me a few years ago , so I stopped writing, posting. SO I decided to take the posts I had there and put them here. Plus new ones I found on the net and shares of my own. Take what you need and pass on the rest! Blessings ds♥

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Hi everyone Donna S alcoholic

 I remember anger well, it was all i knew for so long. I didn't know how to handle life's situations, and my anger became rage and i took it out on myself ( Self Harm) plus break things, living recklessly. Drinking and drugging would numb how i felt about life, about my anger eventually turned into depression y turned to
I came to AA when i was 28, as my husband had enough of me and was going leave with my sons. I have 2 sons, my oldest was 5 , youngest 3, I walked around town drunk and disorderly and in blackouts, with my sons thinking I was a great mom HA. So off to to rehab  I went. I didn't drive at this time, as i lost my license years before so I had to get rides to meetings, which caused more issues as i didn't come home until very late at night.
I was involved in meetings and went out and spoke, I think of it now and i must have spewed a bunch of lies. I stayed dry 4 or 5  years and then  relapsed.
I OD' 2 times and brought back. I now lived a life of periodic drinking, became a workaholic,and living an insane life style with no regards to my family. I was a horrible mother, wife, daughter, and sister. My kids missed out on a happy home with a mother who was responsible and who didn't teach them how to cope, so today they struggle with coping with issues in life. They have not idea what a real relationship is.
I came back to AA in 1999, my last drink was 1-12-99, my sobriety date is 1-30-99 as it took me till then to go to a meeting and surrender to the fact I am an real alcoholic. I found a sponsor, a home group and she got me very involved. I learned just going to meetings doesn't keep me sober as my problem was I didn't have a connection with a Higher Power and although i was very grateful for my sobriety i was still living a life for Donna. I  still was not regarding my responsibilities as a wife and mother. I  almost picked up a drink at the beginning of  my 6th year as i put myself in a situation on at an AA convention i shouldn't have been in and something horrible came of it. My first reaction was to drink but, because i did and still do have a great support group ( VERY IMPORTANT) I didn't pick up. I  got a new sponsor ( mine passed away) and i went through the 12 Steps out the big book.  God sought me out and I grabbed hold tight!
My gratitude goes deep to the people who never gave up on me. 

I celebrate to show you it is possible..no matter what u r going thru it isn't worth the drink/drug, you can get thru it!!  WE are here, and will not judge you. I am amazed at where i am at today...i never thought it would be possible to rebuild my marriage,the relations with my sons and my parents/brothers. It took time for them to SEE how i changed from who i was, showing my sons coping tools to there problems, building them up with confidence, showing my husband the love i never showed. I had to learn balance... to Much of anything isn't good for me .... and i try to give back what was so freely given to me.
 I've been coming to StepChat  i think 6 years now. Ive meet a bunch of great people, support and  I sponsor people.
So thank you all, I didn't do this alone, God and you all
Have a great 24 and don't pick up that first one!!  

Friday, September 22, 2017

WILLINGNESS TO GROW



If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 8

Sobriety fills the painful "hole in the soul" that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done. However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it is the gift of continued spiritual awakening. Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as application of the principles of recovery in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others. My Higher Power presents many opportunities for deeper spiritual awakening. I need only to bring into my recovery the willingness to grow. Today I am ready to grow.

Hi everyone Donna S alcoholic
 What a great reading!! i realized that willingness is something i so needed to further y journey  u see all thru out the big book the word willingness it was something i didn't have for a long time i wasn't willing to stop drinking or change or grow up
I wasn't willing to admit alcohol beat me down
but the day i finally said Yes i will willing i was able to start my journey from that  point then i became willing to believe in a Higher Power could restore me to sanity for me i had to study the big book, not just read it
I thought all i had to do was read it thru and i was done same with step book and other AA reading material there's more then just the big book alcoholics anonymous has many books out there and i have read them and studied some and continue to go thru them
there's a book meeting i went to on Sat here where we go thru different AA books i learned  lot from that meeting in doing all this i began to grow
 sure Ive hit hard times during the years Ive hit places in my journey that i thought is this all there is ???
 but i stuck with it and continue to go to meetings and review my day Ive had a lot joys in my journey i find that if i want to be miserable i am welcome to it
i don't want to be so i continue to be willing willing to got any length
 Life is   good : so i am going to keep coming  ☮😊   Done

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Acid Test ( Daily Reflection )

October 2nd


As we work the first nine Steps, we prepare ourselves for the adventure of a new life. But when we approach Step Ten we commence to put our A.A. way of living to practical use, day-by-day, in fair weather or foul. Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88



I know the Promises are being fulfilled in my life, but I want to maintain and develop them by the daily application of Step Ten. I have learned through this Step that if I am disturbed, there is something wrong with me. The other person may be wrong too, but I can only deal with my feelings. When I am hurt or upset, I have to continually look for the cause in me, and then I have to admit and correct my mistakes. It isn’t easy, but as long as I know I am progressing spiritually, I know that I can mark my effort up as a job well done. I have found that pain is a friend; it lets me know there is something wrong with my emotions, just as a physical pain lets me know there is something wrong with my body. When I take the appropriate action through the Twelve Steps, the pain gradually goes away.


  My thoughts on Reflection
The Steps have given me direction on how to live a good life today, compared to the insane/unmanageable life I lead before. Step 10 helps me with balance in my daily life. At any time during the day if I am feeling anxious, irritable, or discontent, I can stop and review my day and see why I am feeling this way. What a great tool ( Step) to have, as I didn't know to do that before.  My day would just get worse until I exploded at anyone in my path. Also when I retire at night  I ask God if there was anything in  my day I owe amends for, or where I could do better tomorrow. I use to think the reason I felt angry or upset or uneasy was what YOU did to me and I would make sure you knew it!!  Even letting you know how I felt I didn't feel any better, but with Step 10  I get freedom once I take that time to look at why I am feeling the way I am.  It is wonderful to have that choice in my day, to stop look and see and be able to change how I am feeling and make amends if I need to.  I still have those days,  I speak before I think and have to go back to that person and apologize. I am not perfect, and don't want to be, as I would be with my maker then.

So I will keep coming and keep growing and working the Steps in my life.
 


God Bless you all

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Forgiveness


 





Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
--Hannah Arendt


Resentments keep us in the past, a past that can never be relived. Resentments keep a stranglehold on our mind. They keep us from appreciating the beauty of a moment. They stop us from hearing the loving voices of friends. We forget that we have a mission to fulfill God's divine plan for our life.

Fortunately, we can shake this hold on us, and our freedom comes when we decide to forgive whatever transgressions are made against us. This decision, with some practice, can become second nature.

Clearly the choice to resent no one is our opportunity to free our mind and heart for the real activities God hopes we'll attend to. Our purpose in this life goes unfulfilled when we're consumed by resentments. Now we have a program of recovery to help us develop a forgiving heart and find the peace and joy that are part of God's will for each of us.

Holding resentments against others hurts me. Forgiveness can make me glad I'm alive today.