I started a Web Site in 1999 when I came back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Tripod decided to block me a few years ago , so I stopped writing, posting. SO I decided to take the posts I had there and put them here. Plus new ones I found on the net and shares of my own. Take what you need and pass on the rest! Blessings ds♥

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Detachment means "freedom from emotion."


 



 

Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.

At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.

I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Acceptance



 Donna S alcoholic,

 Acceptance is one I have to work on a lot. First I had to accept I was defeated when it came to alcohol or any kid of drugs. I could not have one, I am not a social drinker! So I had to accept that or I would continue to go back out.
Then I had to accept that if I don't do any action work on myself, I am not going to change. Acceptance isn't easy, but my biggest challenge with acceptance is of other people. I want them to behave the way I want. Expectations then come into play, then resentments, and then I am back where I started, miserable and expecting everyone to do what I think is right. I can't control anyone or anything except ME!
Then I had to accept a Higher Power into my life, that took time, but I saw when I wasn't accepting of one, my life was still going to be out of control. I am a hard head and have to have the floor drop out for me to SEE the right way things work out. Once I accepted a God of my understanding into my life, man did my life take off in a new direction.
When I worked the steps, I got to see where I was wrong in so many situations, and how my defects effected others. I had to accept responsibility for them and keep them at bay.
I have learned many a lesson in the rooms about acceptance. I had to accept I can't run a group just because I belong to that group. There is a group conscious and business meetings where we vote on things and if it isn't what i want, I have to accept it.  I can be miserable and piss and moan about it, but it isn't going to change the fact there are guidelines, not rules,
to how it works and it is voted on.
There's also people I have to have acceptance with. Lately it has been with a couple people I am friends with. My old defect came out that I knew better, that I knew what they needed to be doing. I didn't tell them, I just thought it, but that is just as bad. My thinking gets all messed up thinking it is ok. I had to apologize  to one of them last night at CR meeting, she had no clue and said Oh shut up already LOL. I owe someone else one when I see them. It is what I have to do for me today!! Acceptance and responsibility. I don't know it all and I don't want to. I have to accept that we are all in a different places and have to grow at our own pace. If I keep stepping in, they will miss the message they need to learn.

My life is wonderful when I am accepting, loving, forgiving. When I get out the way and let God take the wheel! 
 

My God is an awesome God   weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Its been a great day so far, I got a f2f later and its beautiful outside. I got to work in my garden this morning, which I love, very therapeutic.
 

 If your new or coming back, stick around and give yourself a chance. Reach out if you are struggling, we are here for you!!!     Love & Happy Sober 24
 



Thursday, May 28, 2015

By Working the Steps...


 




“We examined our lives and discovered who we really are.  To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves.”
Basic Text, p. 36

As using addicts, the demands of our disease determined our personality.  We could be whoever or whatever we needed to be in order to get our “fix.”  We were survival machines, adapting easily to every circumstance of the using life.

Once we began our recovery, we entered a new and different life.  Many of us had no idea what behavior was appropriate for us in any given situation.  Some of us didn’t know how to talk to people, how to dress, or how to behave in public.  We couldn’t be ourselves because we didn’t know who we were anymore.

The Twelve Steps give us a simple method for finding out who we really are.  We uncover our assets and our defects, the things we like about ourselves and the things we’re not so thrilled about.  Through the healing power of the Twelve Steps, we begin to understand that we are individuals, created to be who we are by the Higher Power of our understanding.  The real healing begins when we understand that if our Higher Power created us this way, it must be okay to be who we really are.



Just for today:  By working the steps I can experience the freedom to be myself, the person my Higher Power intended me to be.

 from the book JFT

Friday, May 22, 2015

One Small Change



The change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors and thus change many things.”
--JEAN BAER


Our behavior tells others and ourselves who we are. Frequently, we find ourselves behaving in ways that keep us stuck or embarrass us. Or we may feel deep shame for our behavior in a certain instance. Our behavior will never totally please us. But deciding we want to change some behavior and using the program to help us is a first step.
Remember, imperfections are human and very acceptable. However, changing a particular behavior, maybe deciding to take a walk every morning rather than sleeping 30 extra minutes, will change how we feel about ourselves. And a minor change such as this can have a remarkable effect on our outlook, our attitudes.


The dilemma for many of us for so long was the fear we couldn’t change. But we can. And we can help each other change, too.

ONE SMALL CHANGE TODAY—A SMILE AT THE FIRST PERSON I MEET—MEDITATION BEFORE
DINNER—A FEW MINUTES OF EXERCISE—WILL HELP ME CHART A NEW COURSE. I WILL
ENCOURAGE ANOTHER WOMAN TO JOIN ME IN THIS EFFORT TOO, AND I WILL BE ON MY WAY.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Fear of the Fourth Step


“As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside of us that, if released, will destroy us.”
Basic Text, p. 27
––––=––––
Most of us are terrified to look at ourselves, to probe our insides.  We’re afraid that if we examine our actions and motives, we’ll find a bottomless black pit of selfishness and hatred.  But as we take the Fourth Step, we’ll find that those fears were unwarranted.  We’re human, just like everyone else—no more, no less.

We all have personality traits that we’re not especially proud of.  On a bad day, we may think that our faults are worse than anyone else’s.  We’ll have moments of self-doubt.  We’ll question our motives.  We may even question our very existence.  But if we could read the minds of our fellow members, we’d find the same struggles.  We’re no better or worse than anyone else.

We can only change what we acknowledge and understand.  Rather than continuing to fear what’s buried inside us, we can bring it out into the open.  We’ll no longer be frightened, and our recovery will flourish in the full light of self-awareness.

––––=––––

Just for today:  I fear what I don’t know.  I will expose my fears and allow them to vanish.

Copyright © 1991-2015 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Don't take the first drink


A man takes a drink, the drink takes another, and the drink takes the man.

Newcomer


I've heard Alcoholics Anonymous members say, "It's the first drink that gets you drunk," and Overeaters Anonymous members say, "Don't take that first compulsive bite." It seems a little extreme. Don't Twelve Step programs allow for the possibility of doing things in moderation?

Sponsor

There are numerous stories of addicted people who started with the idea that they'd have "just one" of whatever it was. Hours, days, or weeks later, they were still in the middle of a binge. Most of us, when we were active in our addictions, promised ourselves repeatedly that we'd be moderate, though we'd already accumulated plenty of evidence that we lacked the desire and the capacity for moderation. Once we started using, no matter how seemingly insignificant the beginning, we were under the control of our addiction. We experienced a craving that no quantity of a drug or repetition of an addictive behavior could satisfy.

There are people who can do in moderation what people filling the seats at meetings couldn't stop doing, once they started. But we are not those people.

Today, I'm strengthened by accepting my need to take special measures to protect my health and recovery.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Any lengths


“...I was ready to go to any lengths to stay clean.”
Basic Text, p. 132

“Any lengths?” newcomers ask.  “What do you mean, any lengths?”  Looking back at our active addiction and the lengths we were willing to go to in order to stay high can help to explain.  Were we willing to drive many miles to get drugs( alcohol) ?  Yes, we usually were.  Then it makes sense that, if we are as concerned about staying clean as we were about using, we will try anything to find a ride to a meeting.
In our addiction, didn’t we often do crazy, insane things or use unknown substances at the direction of others?  Then why do we often find it so hard to take direction in recovery, especially when the direction is designed to help us grow?  And when we used, didn’t we often, in desperation, turn to our Higher Power, saying, “Please, just get me out of this one!”  Then why do we find it so hard to ask for God’s help in our recovery?
When we used, we usually had an open mind when it came to finding ways and means to get more drugs (alcohol).  If we can apply this same principle of open-mindedness to our recovery, we may surprise ourselves by how easily we begin to grasp the NA (AA) program.  Our best thinking, it is often said, got us into the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous ( Alcoholics Anonymous).  If we are willing to go to any lengths, follow directions, and stay open-minded, we can stay clean.

Just for today:  I am willing to go to any lengths to stay clean.  I will become as open-minded and ready to take direction as I need to be.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Forgiveness



We can practice forgiveness each day.


Resentments have a way of creeping back into my psyche even after I have let go of them. I know that holding a grudge is harmful to my emotional health and can threaten my abstinence, but what can I do when I keep feeling anger toward someone?

In the interest of recovery, in my own best interest, I can continue to forgive each day. I may not be able to forgive the person once and for all, but I can do it right now, just for today. With practice, who knows? Perhaps the resentment will disappear.

When I remember that my own track record is far from perfect, I realize I could use some daily forgiveness too, both from others and from myself.

Just for now, I can let go of resentments and forgive. If resentments come back, I can forgive again.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

The gifts we receive are meant to be shared.



Thanks to the progress I am making in recovery, I like to think I am more loving, more open, more spontaneous, more confident. I believe these gifts have come to me through my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and the friends who have helped me grow.

If I am to keep the gifts, I must share them. They are mine as long as I give them away. To do that I need to realize we're all working toward a similar goal: that of developing our potential and becoming who we are meant to be. We help each other toward this goal by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.

Close, warm, loving contacts with my family and friends are what feed my heart and spirit and fill the inner emptiness. When I am willing to share the gifts I have received, I always have enough, because what I give comes back to me.

I will take advantage of today's opportunities for caring and sharing, remembering that my recovery depends not on what I have but on what I give.