Resentments

This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. No man can progress in his recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns.

Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop.

Making progress

Thought for the Day

Instead of pretending to be perfectionists, in A.A. we are content if we are making progress. The main thing is to be growing. We realize that perfectionism is only a result of false pride and an excuse to save our faces. In A.A. we are willing to make mistakes and to stumble, provided we are always stumbling forward. We are not so interested in what we are as in what we are becoming. We are on the way, not at the goal. And we will be on the way as long as we live. No A.A. has ever "arrived." But we are getting better. Am I making progress?

Meditation for the Day

Touchstones

"All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. Ever deepening humility, accompanied by an ever greater willingness to accept and act upon clear-cut obligations - these are truly our touchstones for all growth in the life of the spirit. They hold up to us the very essence of right being and right doing. It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God's will."
Bill W., Talk, 1965
c.1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 271

Thought to Consider . . .

The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.

AACRONYMS
 
S O B E R
Staying Off Booze Enjoying Recovery

Wisdom

Wisdom begins in seeing how much we do not know. Sometimes it's a painful blow to our egos to face what we still have to learn. Many of us have believed we know how to live. Yet, when we look at our lives, we see something has been missing. When we continue to have great stress, when we haven't made progress in simplifying our lives, when our lives seem full of crises - perhaps then it is time to open ourselves to some new learning.

We can talk to sponsors and get ideas from group members. Perhaps they have noticed our blind spots and will tell us if asked.

Comfort

"When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these: 'Pain is the touchstone of progress.' . . . 'Fear no evil.' . . . 'This, too, will pass.' . . . 'This experience can be turned to benefit.' These fragments of prayer bring far more than comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Bill W., AA Grapevine, March 1962
c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 110
Thought to Consider . . . 

God enters us through our wounds.

AACRONYMS

H E L P
Hope, Encouragement, Love, and Patience

Progress

"Many of us exclaimed, 'What an order! I can't go through with it.' Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection." 1976 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 60

Thought to Consider . . .

Progress always involves risk. You can't steal second base with your foot on first.

GROWTH

When we're out of sorts with everyone and everything and we realize that we're the one who needs to change, that's growth.

When we mind our own business and don t take the inventory of another, that's growth.

When we don't expect anyone to change their opinion simply because it differs from ours, that's growth.

When we think we're right at one moment and are proven wrong the next, and are happy about it because we've learned something, that's growth.

We had but two alternatives

Thought for the Day

We became willing to maintain a certain simple attitude toward life. What seemed at first a flimsy reed has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us, a design for living that really works. All of us establish in our own individual way our personal relationship with God." Have I established my own relationship with God?

Meditation for the Day

In recovery

I remember being in early recovery and feeling so bad that I just knew it wasn't working. I'd tell my sponsor about it, and I can still hear him saying, "Michael, you're exactly where you should be, and that's exactly what you should be feeling right now." At first I thought he was just handing me a line, but after a while I believed him and learned to trust in the slow progress I was making in recovery.

Years later I'd hear other newcomers complain about how bad they felt and about how terrible of a day they were having. I can still hear the old timers ask them if they had a drink that day. "No," they'd respond.

Powerful positive start

Before you go to bed tonight, give yourself a compelling reason to get up and get started right away tomorrow. Be clear in advance, motivated in advance, and you’ll give the day a powerful positive start.

Don’t waste half the morning wondering what you’ll do or convincing yourself to do it. You already know tomorrow is coming, so build in your plan and your enthusiasm for it today.

Create a shield to protect yourself from indecision, distraction, and regret. Energize your life, your mind, your experience with a day that gets off to a great start and then just keeps getting better.

Our lives are purposeful

For is it not true that human progress is but a mighty growing pattern woven together by the tenuous single threads united in a common effort?
  —Soong Mei-ling (Madame Chiang Kai-shek)

We each are spinning our individual threads, lending texture, color, pattern, to the "big design" that is serving us all. Person by person our actions, our thoughts, our values complement those of our sisters, those of the entire human race. We are heading toward the same destination, all of us, and our paths run parallel on occasion, intersect periodically, and veer off in singleness of purpose when inspiration calls us.

Flack from Setting Boundaries

We need to know how far we'll go, and how far we'll allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere.
—Beyond Codependency

When we own our power to take care of ourselves - set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern - we may get flack from some people. That's okay. We don't have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.

We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.

Reaction isn't action

Reaction isn't action - that is, it isn't truly creative.
  —Elizabeth Janeway

We must learn how to act rather than react. Unfortunately, we've had lots of training at reacting. And we're all such good imitators. We are a society of reactors. We let the good or the bad behavior of another person determine our own behavior as a matter of course. But the opportunities are unlimited for us to responsibly choose our behavior, independent of all others in our life.

Change is ours, if we want it. A scowl from a spouse need not make us feel rejected. Criticism at work doesn't have to ruin our day. An inconsiderate bus driver might still be politely thanked. And when we decide for ourselves just how we want to act and follow through, self-esteem soars.

The gifts we receive are meant to be shared.

Thanks to the progress I am making in recovery, I like to think I am more loving, more open, more spontaneous, more confident. I believe these gifts have come to me through my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and the friends who have helped me grow.

If I am to keep the gifts, I must share them. They are mine as long as I give them away. To do that I need to realize we're all working toward a similar goal: that of developing our potential and becoming who we are meant to be. We help each other toward this goal by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.