Fear

If your life is ever going to get better, you'll have to take risks. There is simply no way you can grow without taking chances.
  —David Viscott

One sunny day a caterpillar who was afraid of the dark came to a tunnel, which lay squarely in its path. It had a choice of going back where it started, or summoning the courage to crawl into the darkness. "What shall I do?" wondered the caterpillar. "If I go back home, I won't get where I want to go, but I'm so afraid!"

Just then, a voice called out from the tunnel. "I can hear you, Mr. Caterpillar. I am Mr. Beetle.

Defect Of Character

At the heart of Steps Six and Seven

Before a request that my Higher Power remove my defects of character could make sense there was, for me, a lot of self-discovery required.

Beneath unhealthy behaviors are the defects from which unhealthy behaviors grow. People say that their anger, fear, or intolerance are their defects of character. I think I know what they mean, but I'd like to be more precise.

Blindness, coughing, or uncontrollable shaking are unhealthy symptoms, but they aren't physical defects like glaucoma or TB. Likewise emotions or behaviors may be distressing or unhealthy, but they aren't the character defects.

Letting Things Happen

We do not have to work so hard at gaining our insights. Yes, we're learning that painful and disappointing things happen, often for a reason and a higher purpose. Yes, these things often work out for good. But we don't have to spend so much time and energy figuring out the purpose and plan for each detail of our life. That's hypervigilence!

Sometimes, the car doesn't start. Sometimes, the dishwasher breaks. Sometimes, we catch a cold. Sometimes, we run out of hot water. Sometimes, we have a bad day. While it helps to achieve acceptance and gratitude for these irritating annoyances, we don't have to process everything and figure out if it's in the scheme of things.

Solve the problem. Get the car repaired. Fix the dishwasher. Nurse yourself through the cold.

One day at a time

One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone.
 —Ida Scott Taylor

It's not always easy to understand that the day stretching before us is all that counts. Daydreaming about the party last week, or getting upset all over again about a fight we had yesterday with a friend doesn't help us right now. When our minds are on the past, we miss out on the conversation or the activity that is going on around us.

Different

I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.
—Hans Christian Andersen

The ugly duckling was not really ugly at all, he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked and even bit him until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them.

What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave

  —Frances Marion

Each experience we have plays its part in the total picture of our lives. The steps we have taken, the path we travel today, and our direction tomorrow are not by chance. There is a pattern. We each have a destiny. We may have veered off the path in the past, and we may veer off it again. But we'll be guided back, and our paths intersect. None of us is traveling alone. We have each other and the creative force that is at the helm.

Turn it over

Thought for the Day

When we came into A.A., the first thing we did was to admit that we couldn't do anything about our drinking. We admitted that alcohol had us licked and that we were helpless against it. We never could decide whether or not to take a drink. We always took the drink. And since we couldn't do anything about it ourselves, we put our whole drink problem into the hands of God. We turned the whole thing over to that Power greater than ourselves. And we have nothing more to do about it, except to trust God to take care of the problem for us. Have I done this honestly and fully?

Meditation for the Day

Call on a Higher Power

 
Thought for the Day

Since I realized that I had become an alcoholic and could never have any more fun with liquor and since I knew that from then on liquor would always get me into trouble, common sense told me that the only thing left for me was a life of sobriety. But I learned another thing in A.A., the most important thing anyone can ever learn: that I could call on a Higher Power to help me keep away from liquor; that I could work with that Divine Principle in the universe; and that God would help me to live a sober, useful, happy life. So now I no longer care about the fact that I can never have any more fun with drinking. Have I learned that I am much happier without it?

Meditation for the Day

Reaction isn't action

Reaction isn't action - that is, it isn't truly creative.
  —Elizabeth Janeway

We must learn how to act rather than react. Unfortunately, we've had lots of training at reacting. And we're all such good imitators. We are a society of reactors. We let the good or the bad behavior of another person determine our own behavior as a matter of course. But the opportunities are unlimited for us to responsibly choose our behavior, independent of all others in our life.

Change is ours, if we want it. A scowl from a spouse need not make us feel rejected. Criticism at work doesn't have to ruin our day. An inconsiderate bus driver might still be politely thanked. And when we decide for ourselves just how we want to act and follow through, self-esteem soars.

The perfection of innocence

The perfection of innocence, indeed, is madness.
—Arthur Miller

We've all said, "I didn't do anything. Don't blame me; I didn't mean any harm." Over-development of innocence contradicts our spiritual growth. The painful truth is, we do have an impact on other people. Many times we have cultivated innocence as a style, and it has stood in our way of being accountable.

Clarity

I know better than to not trust God. But sometimes, I forget that.

When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.

If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed. How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.

We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times. When we are being pelted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.

Detaching with Love

Sometimes people we love do things we don't like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we're all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates.

  When do we detach? When we're hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame? When we get hooked into power play-an attempt to control or force others to do something they don't want to do. When the way we're reacting isn't helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we're reacting is hurting us.

TACT

"Tact is the art of making a
point without making an
enemy."
-- Howard W. Newton

An aspect of my recovery is not hurting people's feelings unnecessarily. I am learning how to say what I have to say without causing offense. Today I am learning to be tactful and respectful.

As a drunk I would say the first thing that came into my head without any regard for the feelings of others. I was often violent with words, sarcastic with comments and cruel in dialogue. Tact was a sign of weakness; gentleness and sensitivity were unmanly; my power was seen in forcing people to change their minds!

Today I do not wish to be like this. Today I desire to be tactful.

Lord, let me always express my opinion respectfully.

The moment one definitely commits one's self......

 

The moment one definitely commits one's self, and then providence moves too.
--W.H. Murray
We believe God is always with us, but we can experience God's presence more visibly when we have the courage to act.
Decisions are difficult for us. Sometimes we won't make a decision until we feel it is absolutely right. We are finding out, though, that there is some right and some wrong in every decision. We may never feel completely sure of anything.
Today, we can risk moving forward and trust ourselves, with the guidance of our Higher Power, to move in a right and orderly direction. Once we start moving, we will feel better. We usually get what we need when we begin a course of action.
Today let me stop waiting and take action.

Humility

Have I got over most of my sensitiveness, my feelings which are too easily hurt, and my
just plain laziness and self-satisfaction? Am I willing to go all out for A.A. at no matter what cost to my precious self? Is my own comfort more important to me than doing the things that need to be done? Have I got to the point where what happens to me is not so important?  Can I face up to things that are embarrassing or uncomfortable if they are the right things to do for the good of A.A.?  Have I given A.A. just a small piece of myself? Am I willing to give all of myself whenever necessary?


Meditation For The Day

Not until you have failed can you learn true humility. Humility arises from a deep sense of gratitude to God for giving you the strength to rise above past failures. Humility is not inconsistent with self-respect. The true person has self-respect and the respect of others and yet is humble. The humble person is tolerant of other's failings, and does not have a critical attitude toward the foibles of others. Humble people are hard on themselves and easy on others.


Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be truly humble and yet have self-respect. I pray that I may see the good in myself as well as the bad.

I have no excuse for loneliness

 

“With the love that I am shown in Narcotics Anonymous, I have no excuse for loneliness.”

––––=––––

Addiction is a lonely disease.  We may be surrounded by people but, sooner or later, our addiction drives a wedge between us and even our closest loved ones.  Many of us are driven to Narcotics Anonymous by a desperate loneliness.

Though we may approach the rooms of NA with caution and suspicion, we are welcomed with a hug, a smile, and a warm “keep coming back.”  This may be the first place where we have felt welcome in a long, long while.  We watch other members talking and laughing, leaving the meeting in groups for more talk at the local coffee shop.  We wonder if we, too, could become a part of this loving bunch.

Our pattern of isolation can make it difficult for us to join in.  Over time, however, we begin to feel “a part of” rather than “apart from.”  Soon, when we walk into the rooms, we feel at home.  We begin to make friends and our lives start to change.

NA teaches us how to overcome our isolation.  Through our first tentative friendships formed in our home group, we start to find that making friends isn’t hard.  A sense of belonging comes when we share ourselves with others.

––––=––––

Just for today:  I am thankful for the friendships my Higher Power has given me in NA.  Because of them, I am lonely no more.

Letting the Good Stuff Happen

 

Before recovery, my relationships were lousy. I didn't very well on my job. I was enmeshed in my dysfunctional family. But at least I knew what to expect!

---- Anonymous

I want the second half of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I'm afraid it won't be. Sometimes, I'm frightened it might be.

  In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard time.
 The past may have become comfortable familiar. Our relationships were repeats of the same pattern--the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again.They
may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.

 This is not so when we begin recovering. Then things change. And the further we progress in this miraculous program, the more we and our circumstances change.

Acting "as if"

 

Everyday . . . life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly.
  —Dr. Ann Faraday

Facing the day straight on is occasionally difficult to do. There are those days we feel like crawling under the covers and staying there, certain that we can't handle whatever might be asked of us. Maybe today is one of those days. Perhaps we feel 12 years old, instead of 42. To consciously behave like a responsible 42-year-old is out of the question. Acting "as if" is the next best thing, the program tells us, and it is.

Acting "as if" also comes in handy when only a minor kink interferes with the day's progression. Most problems don't fit an easy solution or a familiar one. However, most problems are dispensed with by seeing them as opportunities for creative response, calmly seeking guidance and then moving ahead slowly, being aware of the effects of our actions.

Today, and every day, I will have an opportunity to think creatively and to rely on my inner guide. Instead of dreading the unfamiliar, I will be glad for it. It's moving me ever closer to understanding life's mysteries.