Sorting out feelings

Reflection for the Day

In our first weeks or months in the program, our shaky emotional condition sometimes affects our feelings toward old friends and family. For many of us, these relationships heal quickly in the initial stages of our recovery. For others, a time of “touchiness” seems to persist; now that we’re no longer drinking or using other substances, we have to sort out our feelings about spouses, children, relatives, employers, fellow workers, and even neighbors. Experience in the program over the years has taught me that we should avoid making important decisions early in our recovery—especially emotionally charged decisions about people. Am I becoming better equipped to relate maturely to other people?

Today I Pray

Upkeep

From Having Fun Yet:

"When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that cloaked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance.
 

 I should stop and ask myself, am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I'm taking myself too seriously and finding it difficult to admit that I've strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order."


Daily Reflections, pg. 31

Living in the Moment

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

~Albert Einstein

None of us knows anything for sure about the future. We don’t know if we’ll be sober tomorrow. But we can be sure of this moment. We get sober by moments. Our sober moments then stretch into hours, days, and years. Our program tells us to live in the present moment. This is because we can control this moment. We can’t control the past or the future. We need to have a sense of control in our life. In our illness, we were out of control. This was because we wouldn’t live from moment to moment.

Each moment is filled with as much life as we can handle. Each moment is filled with enough to keep us alive, interested, and growing!

SELF-EXAMINATION

. . . we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 86

When said sincerely, this prayer teaches me to be truly unselfish and humble, for even in doing good deeds I often used to seek approval and glory for myself. By examining my motives in all that I do, I can be of service to God and others, helping them do what they want to do. When I put God in charge of my thinking, much needless worry is eliminated and I believe He guides me throughout the day. When I eliminate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find peace with God, my neighbor and myself.

New life

Freedom is not enough.

~Lyndon B. Johnson

We are free of alcohol and other drugs. We’ve been given a second or third chance. For that, we thank our Higher Power. We’ve started a new life. But to keep this life, we need to change. We need new friends. We need to let a Higher Power guide our hearts, minds, and bodies. We need to learn new values and how to stand up for them. We need to learn how to give and to receive.

Freedom from dependence is not enough.

Life

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.     ~Joseph Campbell

Over and over we tried to drink or use in ways that wouldn’t hurt us or those we loved. The harder we tried, the more out of control we became.

Recovery asks us to surrender and accept. We surrender to the reality that we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives were unmanageable. In order to step into our new life, we have to let go of the life we had wanted and the life we had planned. We step into a life our Higher Power has waiting for us. We must accept that there is nothing back there for us. We must look forward with anticipation.

Prayer for the Day

Twenty-four hours

Every night the river sings a new song.

~Eva-Lis Wvorie

Ours is a program of twenty-four hours. We are to live “One day at a time.” We are to live in the moment, for only in the moment can we connect with our Higher Power. How? By bringing life to the spiritual principles our Higher Power has given to us. By choice.

By choosing to live by spiritual principles, moment by moment, we stay connected to our Higher Power. We work to keep the channel open in order to receive the gifts our Higher Power wants us to embrace. To stay open and to live by spiritual principles is hard. Our instinctual side wants us to take the easier, softer way. In addition, we addicts are afraid of the future. We tend to focus on the entire journey instead of what is right in front of our face.

Progress rather than perfection

Reflection for the Day

On studying the Twelve Steps, many of the first members of the program exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” “Do not be discouraged,” we’re told at meeting after meeting. “No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” Can I believe, in the words of Browning,that my business is not to remake myself, but to make the absolute best of what my Higher Power made?

Today I Pray

Surrender

From "God Is Good":

"Before A.A., I could not, or would not, admit I was wrong. My pride would not let me. And yet I was ashamed of me. Caught in this conflict, I banished God from my life because I felt He asked me to adhere to a behavior pattern too high for a man of my human frailty. Somehow, I believed that there could be no forgiveness of any failure, that God required me to be all good. The moral of the story of the Prodigal Son eluded me.

Since I thought trying was not enough, I stopped trying.

Forthright and Generous

As soon as we begin to feel confident in our new way of life and have begun, by our behavior and example, to convince those about us that we are indeed changing for the better, it is usually safe to talk in complete frankness with those who have been seriously affected, even those who may be only a little or not at all aware of what we have done to them. The only exceptions we will make will be cases where our disclosure would cause actual harm.

Perfectly Fine

After all this time, after all the practice I’ve had perfecting what should by now be perfected, I still don’t do it—anything—perfectly right. I am a perfect example of imperfection, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Perfection is an overrated and impossible goal—in fact, the act of chasing perfection makes perfect imperfect. Perfectionism sucks all the fun out of giving life a whirl.

Perfectionism is not a happy road to follow; it is harsh and demanding, full of judgment and fear.