I started a Web Site in 1999 when I came back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Tripod decided to block me a few years ago , so I stopped writing, posting. SO I decided to take the posts I had there and put them here. Plus new ones I found on the net and shares of my own. Take what you need and pass on the rest! Blessings ds♥

Thursday, October 23, 2014

By surrendering control, we gain a far greater power.

Basic Text, p. 44

When we were using, we did everything we could to run things our way.  We used every scheme imaginable to bring our world under control.  When we got what we wanted, we felt powerful, invincible; when we didn’t, we felt vulnerable, defeated.  But that didn’t stop us—it only led to more efforts to control and manipulate our lives into a manageable state.


I know better than to not trust God. But sometimes, I forget that.

When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.

If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed. How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.

We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times. When we are being pelted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Detaching with Love

Sometimes people we love do things we don't like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we're all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates.

  When do we detach? When we're hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame? When we get hooked into power play-an attempt to control or force others to do something they don't want to do. When the way we're reacting isn't helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we're reacting is hurting us.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Choice of attention -

not just for men

Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences.
--W. H. Auden

Many of us have said, "I can't help myself!" when we tried to stop our constant thinking about other people or their behavior. "I know it's not good for me, but what can I do when they keep acting that way?"

Sunday, October 19, 2014

A Brief Survey of the First Step

Sometimes the First Step is the Hardest Step to Take

Step One:  We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction — that our lives had become unmanageable.

The First Step is always the hardest . . .
It is said that the First Step is the most important of all because it is only when it has been accepted as true for the individual that recovery may begin.  Drawing on the wisdom of recovery literature, this article will provide a general overview of the First Step.

To Admit or Not to Admit


"Tact is the art of making a
point without making an
-- Howard W. Newton

An aspect of my recovery is not hurting people's feelings unnecessarily. I am learning how to say what I have to say without causing offense. Today I am learning to be tactful and respectful.

As a drunk I would say the first thing that came into my head without any regard for the feelings of others. I was often violent with words, sarcastic with comments and cruel in dialogue. Tact was a sign of weakness; gentleness and sensitivity were unmanly; my power was seen in forcing people to change their minds!

Today I do not wish to be like this. Today I desire to be tactful.

Lord, let me always express my opinion respectfully.

The moment one definitely commits one's self......


The moment one definitely commits one's self, and then providence moves too.
--W.H. Murray

We believe God is always with us, but we can experience God's presence more visibly when we have the courage to act.

Decisions are difficult for us. Sometimes we won't make a decision until we feel it is absolutely right. We are finding out, though, that there is some right and some wrong in every decision. We may never feel completely sure of anything.

Today, we can risk moving forward and trust ourselves, with the guidance of our Higher Power, to move in a right and orderly direction. Once we start moving, we will feel better. We usually get what we need when we begin a course of action.

Today let me stop waiting and take action.

Friday, October 17, 2014


Bill Wilson -- Ebby Thacher

The Man Who Carried The Message To Bill W.

By Walter L.
In 1960, at the Long Beach, California Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson wrote this dedication in an AA book that he gave to Ebby Thacher.
"Dear Ebby,
No day passes that I do not remember that you brought me the message that saved me - and only God knows how many more.

In affection, Bill"
It was Ebby who found relief from his alcoholism in the simple spiritual practices of the Oxford Group which was an attempt to return to First Century Christianity - before it was complicated and distorted by religious doctrines, dogma and opinions. The program offered by Ebby to Bill involved taking a personal moral inventory, admitting to another person the wrongs we had done, making things right by amends and restitution, and a genuine effort to be of real service to others. In order to obtain the power to overcome these problems, Ebby had been encouraged to call on God, as he understood God, for help.
Bill was deeply impressed by Ebby's words, but was even more affected by Ebby's example of action. Here was someone who drank like Bill drank - and yet Ebby was sober, due to a simple religious idea and a practical program of action. The results were an inexplicably different person, fresh-skinned, glowing face, with a different look in his eyes. A miracle sat directly across the kitchen table from Bill. Ebby was not some"do-gooder" who had read something in a book. Here was a hopeless alcoholic who had been completely defeated by John Barleycorn, and yet, had in effect, been raised from the dead. It was a message of hope for an alcoholic - that God would do for us what we could not do for ourselves.


Have I got over most of my sensitiveness, my feelings which are too easily hurt, and my
just plain laziness and self-satisfaction? Am I willing to go all out for A.A. at no matter what cost to my precious self? Is my own comfort more important to me than doing the things that need to be done? Have I got to the point where what happens to me is not so important?  Can I face up to things that are embarrassing or uncomfortable if they are the right things to do for the good of A.A.?  Have I given A.A. just a small piece of myself? Am I willing to give all of myself whenever necessary?

Meditation For The Day

Not until you have failed can you learn true humility. Humility arises from a deep sense of gratitude to God for giving you the strength to rise above past failures. Humility is not inconsistent with self-respect. The true person has self-respect and the respect of others and yet is humble. The humble person is tolerant of other's failings, and does not have a critical attitude toward the foibles of others. Humble people are hard on themselves and easy on others.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be truly humble and yet have self-respect. I pray that I may see the good in myself as well as the bad.

Thursday, October 16, 2014


"One man with courage is a majority."
-- Thomas Jefferson

Alcoholism made me afraid of my shadow. I became so petrified with fear that I could
not enjoy my life. And I felt that I could do nothing. My disease told me I was helpless. I existed in an atmosphere of doom and gloom.

Then I experienced a "moment" of sanity when I saw that I was the problem in my
life. My pain was being caused by my actions and attitudes. I took courage,
confronted the disease in my life and decided to take small steps towards recovery. I
have built my confidence on that "moment" of courage I took years ago. I am not an
island unto myself. I am not alone. God is with me in my life.

Teach me to have the courage to be what You have created. May I accept my


Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
--Albert Einstein

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don't wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships.

When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbor anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.

We're often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God's love for us as we are.

Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

I have no excuse for loneliness


“With the love that I am shown in Narcotics Anonymous, I have no excuse for loneliness.”
Addiction is a lonely disease.  We may be surrounded by people but, sooner or later, our addiction drives a wedge between us and even our closest loved ones.  Many of us are driven to Narcotics Anonymous by a desperate loneliness.
Though we may approach the rooms of NA with caution and suspicion, we are welcomed with a hug, a smile, and a warm “keep coming back.”  This may be the first place where we have felt welcome in a long, long while.  We watch other members talking and laughing, leaving the meeting in groups for more talk at the local coffee shop.  We wonder if we, too, could become a part of this loving bunch.

Our pattern of isolation can make it difficult for us to join in.  Over time, however, we begin to feel “a part of” rather than “apart from.”  Soon, when we walk into the rooms, we feel at home.  We begin to make friends and our lives start to change.

NA teaches us how to overcome our isolation.  Through our first tentative friendships formed in our home group, we start to find that making friends isn’t hard.  A sense of belonging comes when we share ourselves with others.


Just for today:  I am thankful for the friendships my Higher Power has given me in NA.  Because of them, I am lonely no more.

Argue not concerning God

It's obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don't believe in God or a Higher Power?
We don't need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we're addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.
Whether or not we believe in God, most of us recognize that we don't live entirely independently. The phrase "a power greater than ourselves," from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don't run the universe. Whatever I believe about God's existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God - if I'm going to recover. I can't control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago; I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn't my intellect or will.
Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside - what some call their "better self," their "sense of right and wrong," their "higher self," or their "spirit" - that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.
Today, I accept that I'm not all-powerful.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Misery is optional

We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can't control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don't like, using them as excuses for self-pity ("poor me"), or we can implement the Serenity Prayer, accepting what we can't change and changing what we can.
In the past, we often made ourselves miserable by over-doing things. Now, how often do we continue to invite misery by thinking we ought to be able to control other people? What part do unrealistic expectations play in the creation and continuation of our misery?

When we're hurting, we need to do something about it. A physical hurt may require a doctor; an emotional pain may call for a therapist or friend, and spiritual distress may indicate the need for more prayer and meditation, closer contact with a Higher Power. We can accept responsibility for our feelings, become willing to go to any lengths to get well, and choose not to be miserable.

Responding with misery is not on my list of options for today.


Scott Stapp Talks Christ, Creed, Memoir

Friday, October 10, 2014


“Before we got clean, most of our actions were guided by impulse.  Today, we are not locked into this type of thinking.”
Basic Text, p. 90
Ever been tempted to do something even when you knew the results would be disastrous?  Ever thought about how much it was going to hurt to do what you were tempted to do, then proceed to do it anyway?
It is said that there are consequences to every action.  Before we got clean, many of us simply didn’t believe this.  But now we know exactly what it means.  When we act, we know there will be consequences to pay.  No longer can we decide to do something in ignorance when we know full well that we won’t like the price we’ll have to pay.
There’s a prize and a price.  It’s okay to act despite the consequences if we’re willing to pay the price, but there’s always one to pay.
Just for today: I will think about the consequences of my actions before I take them.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Freedom from Fear

The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one
that can never be wholly completed.  When under heavy attack, acute 
illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to 
this emotion -- well or badly, as the case may be.  Only the self-
deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.

Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith.  There 
are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm 
experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart.  
Faith and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -- helps me 
endure tragedy and ecstasy.  When I choose to give all of my fears 
over to my Higher Power,  I will be free.

Emotional Sobriety

"If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small,
we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency
and its consequent unhealthy demand.
Let us, with God's help,
continually surrender these hobbling liabilities.
Then we can be set free to live and love;
we may then be able to twelfth-step ourselves,
as well as others, into emotional sobriety."

Bill. W., AAGrapevine, January 1958
c.1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 288

Thought to Consider . . .

Sobriety is a choice and a treasure.


A A = Altered Attitudes 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


It only takes one person to change your life - you.
--Ruth Casey

Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance, our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.

We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.

When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.

Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Too much reliance on any one member of the group

Do I put too much reliance on any one member of the group?
That is, do I make a tin god out of some one person? Do I
set that person on a pedestal? If I do, I am building my
house on sand. A.A. members have "clay feet." They are all
only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long they
have been in A.A. This has been proved to be true more than
once. It's not fair to any member to be singled out as a
leader in A A. and to always quote that member on the A.A.
program. If that person should fail, where would I be?

Meditation For The Day

You must always remember that you are weak but that God is
strong. God knows all about your weakness. He hears every
cry for mercy, every sign of weakness, every plea for help,
every sorrow over failure, every weakness felt and expressed.
We only fail when we trust too much to our own strength. Do
not feel bad about your weakness. When you are weak, that is
when God is strong to help you. Trust God enough, and your
weakness will not matter. God is always strong to save.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may learn to lean on God's strength.
I pray that I may know that my weakness is God's opportunity.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Reference or Topics from the Big Book

Whether you're looking for a topic for your next A.A. meeting, or you would simply enjoy checking out a few topics in the Big Book, here is a Little Big Book Guide to Topics in the Big Book.
All references to the topics will be found in the first 164 pages of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous

  • ACCEPTANCE page 14

  • ANGER page 64, 66, 111

  • COMPASSION page 108

  • DISEASE 21, 23

  • EASY DOES IT page 135

  • FEAR pages 67, 68, 115, 116

  • FREEDOM page 62,

  • HONESTY pages 58, 115

  • HUMILITY pages 12, 13,63, 73

  • INVENTORY pages 64-71

  • INSANITY pages 24, 37, 38, 57

  • JEALOUSY pages 82, 119, 131

  • MEDITATION pages 86-88

  • PATIENCE pages 67, 82, 90, 111, 118, 123, 125, 127

  • PRAYER pages 63, 67, 70, 75, 76, 79, 80, 82-87

  • RESENTMENT pages 64-66, 117-119

  • RECOVERY pages 1-164

  • SELF-WILL pages 60-62

  • SELF KNOWLEDGE pages 7, 36-39

  • SERENITY page 68

  • SEX 68-70, 124, 134

  • SLIPS pages 35, 120, 139

  • SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE pages 25, 27, 44, 47, 128, 130, 157

  • STEPS pages 59-60

  • WILLINGNESS pages 12-14, 26, 28, 46, 47, 53, 57, 58, 60, 69, 70, 76, 79, 93, 118, 124, 152, 153, 158, 159, 162

Ask for mercy, not justice

“Many of us have difficulty admitting that we caused harm for others...  We cut away our justifications and our ideas of being a victim.
Basic Text, p. 38

Our lives are progressing nicely.  Things are going good, and each year in recovery brings more material and spiritual gifts.  We may have a little money in the bank, a new car, or a committed relationship.  We have a little self-confidence, and our faith in a Higher Power is growing.
Then, something happens.  Someone breaks into our new car and steals the stereo, or the person we’re in the relationship with becomes unfaithful.  Right away, we feel victimized.  “Where’s the justice?” we wail.  But if we take a look back on our own behavior, we may find that we’ve been guilty of doing what’s just been done to us.  We realize we wouldn’t really want justice—not for ourselves, and not for others.  What we want is mercy.
We thank a loving God for the compassion we’ve been shown, and we take the time to appreciate all the precious gifts that recovery brings.


Just for today:  I will pray for mercy, not justice.  I am grateful for the compassion I’ve been shown, and will offer mercy to others.