Basic Text, p. 44
When we were using, we did everything we could to run things our
way. We used every scheme imaginable to bring our world under
control. When we got what we wanted, we felt powerful, invincible; when
we didn’t, we felt vulnerable, defeated. But that didn’t stop us—it
only led to more efforts to control and manipulate our lives into a
manageable state.
Scheming was our way of denying our powerlessness. As long as we
could distract ourselves with our plans, we could put off accepting
that we were out of control. Only gradually did we realize that our
lives had become unmanageable and that all the conning and manipulating
in the world was not going to put our lives back in order.
When we admit our powerlessness, we stop trying to control and
manage our way to a better life—we surrender. Lacking sufficient power
of our own, we seek a Power greater than ourselves; needing support and
guidance, we ask that Power to care for our will and our lives. We ask
others in recovery to share their experience with living the NA program
instead of trying to program our own lives. The power and direction we
seek is all around us; we need only turn away from self to find it.
Just for today: I will not try to scheme and manipulate my
way to a manageable life. Through the NA program, I will surrender
myself to my Higher Power’s care.
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