Donna S alcoholic,
Acceptance is one I have to work on a lot. First I had to accept I was defeated when it came to alcohol or any kid of drugs. I could not have one, I am not a social drinker! So I had to accept that or I would continue to go back out.
Then I had to accept that if I don't do any action work on myself, I am not going to change. Acceptance isn't easy, but my biggest challenge with acceptance is of other people.
I want them to behave the way I want. Expectations then come into play, then resentments, and then I am back where I started, miserable and expecting
everyone to do what I think is right. I can't control anyone or anything except ME!
Then I had to accept a Higher Power into my life, that took time, but I saw when I wasn't accepting of one, my life was still going to be out of control. I am a hard head and have to have the floor drop out for me to SEE the right way things work out. Once I accepted a God of my understanding into my life, man did my life take off in a new direction.
When I worked the steps, I got to see where I was wrong in so many situations, and how my defects effected others. I had to accept responsibility for them and keep them at bay.
I have learned many a lesson in the rooms about acceptance. I had to accept I can't run a group just because I belong to that group. There is a group conscious and business meetings where we vote on things and if it isn't what i want, I have to accept it. I can be miserable and piss and moan about it, but it isn't going to change the fact there are guidelines, not rules, to how it works and it is voted on.
There's also people I have to have acceptance with. Lately it has been with a couple people I am friends with. My old defect came out that I knew better, that I knew what they needed to be doing. I didn't tell them, I just thought it, but that is just as bad. My thinking gets all messed up thinking it is ok. I had to apologize to one of them last night at CR meeting, she had no clue and said Oh shut up already LOL. I owe someone else one when I see them. It is what I have to do for me today!! Acceptance and responsibility. I don't know it all and I don't want to. I have to accept that we are all in a different places and have to grow at our own pace. If I keep stepping in, they will miss the message they need to learn.
My life is wonderful when I am accepting, loving, forgiving. When I get out the way and let God take the wheel!
My God is an awesome God weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Its been a great day so far, I got a f2f later and its beautiful outside. I got to work in my garden this morning, which I love, very therapeutic.
If your new or coming back, stick around and give yourself a chance. Reach out if you are struggling, we are here for you!!! Love & Happy Sober 24