The Missing Piece: The Spiritual Malady

by Mike L., West Orange, NJ
"Carry THIS Message" Group, West Orange, NJ

From "The Doctor's Opinion" to the end of "More About Alcoholism" the Big Book discusses the first part of Step 1, which states, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol". We've discussed, studied, and internalized material from the "Doctor's Opinion" to page 23 to see how we're powerless over alcohol bodily. We've used pages 23 - 43 to help us experience how we've been powerless mentally. Now I'd like to talk about a part of our "disease" which is seldom discussed in meetings nowadays: the "spiritual malady."


We often hear people say something like, "I have a three-fold disease: body, mind, and spirit."

"The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety"

by Bill Wilson I think that many oldsters who have put our AA "booze cure" to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA -- the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.
Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance -- urges quite appropriate to age seventeen -- prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven or fifty-seven. 

Since AA began, I've taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually. My God, how painful it is to keep demanding the impossible, and how very painful to discover finally, that all along we have had the cart before the horse! Then comes the final agony of seeing how awfully wrong we have been, but still finding ourselves unable to get off the emotional merry-go-round.

My Story

Hi everyone Donna S alcoholic

 I remember anger well, it was all i knew for so long. I didn't know how to handle life's situations, and my anger became rage and i took it out on myself ( Self Harm) plus break things, living recklessly. Drinking and drugging would numb how i felt about life, about my anger and eventually turned into depression. 

I came to AA when i was 28, as my husband had enough of me and was going leave with my sons. I have 2 sons, my oldest was 5 , youngest 3, I walked around town drunk and disorderly and in blackouts, with my sons thinking I was a great mom HA. So off to to rehab  I went. I didn't drive at this time, as i lost my license years before so I had to get rides to meetings, which caused more issues as i didn't come home until very late at night.

WILLINGNESS TO GROW

If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 8

Sobriety fills the painful "hole in the soul" that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done. However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it is the gift of continued spiritual awakening. Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as application of the principles of recovery in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others. My Higher Power presents many opportunities for deeper spiritual awakening. I need only to bring into my recovery the willingness to grow. Today I am ready to grow.