Surrender

A.A. Thought for the Day

The way of A.A. is the way of faith. We don't get the full benefit of the program until we surrender our lives to some Power greater than ourselves and trust that Power to give us the strength we need. There is no better way for us. We can't get sober without it. We can stay sober for some time without it. But if we are going to truly live, we must take the way of faith in God. That is the path for us. We must follow it. Have I taken the way of faith? 

Meditation for the Day

Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward.
 

The Greatest Thing In The World, by Henry Drummond

Trusting Others

The three Ts of gratitude to repay the program for our recovery: our TIME, our TALENT, our TRUST.

~Anonymous

In our recovery, we are building trust in others and in ourselves. For the first time in our lives, we know that we can reveal ourselves completely to others without fear of being put down. When we get stuck with negative thoughts, it is important to find the strength of sharing with others in the program.

At the same time, we are aware that others are placing trust in us not to use their sharing to benefit ourselves or to belittle them. By exchanging confidences and personal experiences, we are truly expressing our ability to love. We hear that our entire program rests on the principle of mutual trust. We trust God, we trust the Twelve Steps, and we trust each other. The Second Tradition states that our leaders are but “trusted servants.”

When I share with others, I am also aware that they need me, just as I need them.

from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

 

Forgiving

 

Joy to forgive and joy to be forgiven hang level in the balances of love.

~Richard Garnett

If we are unable or unwilling to forgive others for whatever they do, we won’t be able to forgive ourselves for our actions. The agony of resentment, guilt, remorse, and shame will overpower us. These emotions will halt our progress toward the comfortable and rewarding living we are promised in recovery.

Early in recovery, we often were told to pray for those whom we thought had wronged us. This philosophy is as old as civilization. Forgiveness will always triumph over guilt and shame. Recovery is one-third love and two-thirds forgiveness.

Sane choices

 

Every day we pray for the willingness to make sane choices about our lives. In the morning, when we awaken, the way we feel gives us an idea of whether the day will be easy or difficult. If we’re not feeling our strongest, we need to take special care of our abstinence that day.

That might mean a phone call, writing out how we plan to confront a difficult situation, writing affirmations to take with us, or thinking ahead to potential danger. Do we need to avoid a certain part of town, make a contract not to call an old acquaintance, or stay away from certain music?
 

Contentment

 

We are men on a quest. We seek the serenity of being friendly toward the world and toward ourselves. The spiritual practices we follow are personal and quiet, not spectacular or dazzling. We have been part of the throng seeking stimulating highs. Some of us know the excitement and escape of saving others from their own troubles or drowning ourselves in activity and work. We may know the mellowness of a drug or food binge. Perhaps we know the heart-pounding intensity of shoplifting, gambling, or physical pursuit.

The way of life suggested by this simple program changes us deeply if we fully surrender to it. This spiritual quest changes us slowly over time, and our reward is contentment. It produces a joy, a feeling of well-being, that is far richer than the momentary pleasures we sought in the past.

Today, I am grateful for a way of life that leads me toward a contentment I can rely on.

Pain

"Though I still find it difficult to accept today's pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity - as those more advanced in the spiritual life seem able to do - I can give thanks for present pain nevertheless. I find the willingness to do this by contemplating the lessons learned from past suffering - lessons which have led to the blessings I now enjoy. I can remember how the agonies of alcoholism, the pain of rebellion and thwarted pride, have often led me to God's grace, and so to a new freedom."

Bill W., Grapevine, March 1962
c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 266

Thought to Consider . . .

Joy isn't the absence of pain - it's the presence of God.

AACRONYMS

F A I L U R E
Fearful, Arrogant, Insecure, Lonely, Uncertain, Resentful, Empty

 

Stillness

Stillness is not so much the absence of noise and activity, but rather the presence of transparency, an invisible openness to the immediate world about us. Heaviness falls away from us, and a richer, deeper life appears. Time alone, in which we can be curious and question everything, is the only true way to get to know oneself.

When we take a spell away from the daily race, quiet the turbulence of our normal pace, and slow down to the speed of life, we stimulate a different part of us, which opens us to new ideas and puts us more in touch with what we really love. The sense of spaciousness to just be, in a world so consumed by doing, is good for us on every level and reinforces our commitment to remain clean and sober.

Change

There’s a lot wrong in the world—just check the headlines. Our old way of dealing with these troubles was to rant about them, or ignore them, or numb our minds with substances.

Now we have a new way to change the world. We’re changing ourselves. One day at a time, we’re acting like the caring, responsible people we want to be. We use the ideas of the program in our lives.

We’re kinder. We’re more honest. We stand up for ourselves and for others who need our help.
 

Clouds and Rainbows

 

Our growth as women is contingent on our ability to flow with the dualities, the contradictions inherent in one's lifetime, not only to flow with them but also to capitalize on them.

We are not offered a painless existence, but we are offered opportunities for gathering perspective from the painful moments. And our perspectives are cushioned by the principles of the program. The rough edges of life, the storms that whip our very being, are gifts in disguise. We see life anew, when the storm has subsided.

We can enjoy the calm, if that surrounds us today. We deserve the resting periods. They give us a chance to contemplate and make fully our own that which the recent storm brought so forcefully to our attention. We are powerless over the storm's onslaught. But we can gain from it and be assured that the storm gives all the meaning there is in the calm.

I will be glad today for the clouds or the rainbows. Both are meant for my good. And without both, neither has meaning.

From Each Day a New Beginning:

Intuition

Should we make this move? Should we change jobs? Should we talk to others about our feelings? We are seldom short on prayers when we're filled with fear and indecision. We are, however, short on answers. Our worries block them out.

No prayer ever goes unanswered. Of this we can be certain. On the other hand, the answer may not be what we'd hoped for. In fact, we may not recognize it as the answer because we are expecting something quite different. It takes willingness on our part to be free of our preconceptions - free to accept whatever answers are offered.

Learning

A boy once asked his grandfather how he had become so happy and successful in his life. "Right decisions," replied his grandfather. The boy thought for a while and then asked a second question, "But how do you learn to make right decisions?" The grandfather answered quickly with a twinkle in his eye, "Wrong decisions!"

We, too, will learn from our "wrong decisions," our mistakes. Whenever we try anything, there is always the possibility of failure. We must learn to not let this keep us from trying. When we are willing to try, we have already conquered our fear. We can grow no matter what the outcome is.

What failure have I turned into success?

Boundarie

It is often with some difficulty that we come to understand our need for personal boundaries. We also have to struggle to maintain them once they’re defined. Our boundaries are blurred when our desire to be loved and needed by others seduces us into becoming overly involved in their lives. Or when we find ourselves overly committed with tasks and social engagements—even ones we enjoy. We must remember we need time alone, time for the stillness within to nurture us.

Until we detach from the person or the situation that is drawing us in, we can have no objectivity. We also lose our sense of God’s role in our life when our boundaries are blurred. God gives us our direction, our definition, our vision, and our understanding whenever we ask.

I will take time with my Higher Power today to remember my boundaries.

When the 12 Steps are applied – and practiced, they will:

a. Remove the mental obsession with alcohol.

b. Eliminate the emotional compulsion to drink

c. Produce a personality change – necessary for recovery

d. Produce a new attitude and outlook on life

e. Assist me to maintain emotional balance

f. Assist me to achieve emotional security – a life without fear

g. Help me to gain and grow in emotional maturity

h. Assist me to lead a useful life with purpose

i. Help me clean up the wreckage of the past

j. Assist me to have and maintain healthy positive relationships in my life

k. Produce peace and serenity in my life

l. Provide a way for me to be happy and sober

m. Be a Daily Design For Living, so that I can stay happy and sober

n. And, much, much more.

 

Letting Go of Fear

Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.

Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don’t label our feelings fear. We’re used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal. Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.

At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we’re living life differently.

 

I help my sponsor when I ask for help.

When we first hear that sponsors are helped even more than sponsees when help is sought, we don’t believe it. Sponsors run good programs, or we wouldn’t have asked them to sponsor us. What we don’t understand until that time when someone seeks us out is that our program stays fresh only if we give it away to other people. This means that the more we share our own experiences, strengths, and hopes, the healthier we become.

Our growth is up to us. We will continue getting healthier and happier as long as we stay committed to sharing the program message. But we will have occasional “slips,” times when we fail to use the tools we thought we had mastered. Sponsorship comes in very handy then. Telling a sponsee what has worked for us helps us see how we have let the tool slip from our hands and allows us to rediscover it for ourselves.

Recovery is a “we” deal

 

Down in their hearts, wise people know this truth: the only way to help yourself is to help others.

~Elbert Hubbard

Bill W. knew this when he felt a relapse coming on in Akron. He looked for an alcoholic to help. He found Dr. Bob. The rest is history.

Recovery is a “we” deal. We are in this with other people. We can’t save ourselves and forget about others; most of us have tried that many times. We change our lives by taking each thing as it comes and handling it in a new, healthy way with the help and advice of our friends. The key is to call upon and use our sponsors, rely on our groups. When we need help, we know where to go to get it. But here’s the other part: when our recovering friends need help, to whom do they come? To us. We are part of their support group. We need to be there for others and serve as a sponsor for others.

Prayer for the Day

Big Book

A.A. Thought for the Day

For the past two months we have been studying passages and steps from the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Now why not read the book itself again? It is essential that the A.A. program become part of us. We must have its essentials at our fingertips. We cannot study the Big Book too much or too often. The more we read it and study it, the better equipped we are to think A.A., act A.A., and live A.A. We cannot know too much about the program. The chances are that we will never know enough. But we can make as much of it our own as possible. How much of the Big Book have I thoroughly mastered?

Meditation for the Day

We need to accept the difficulties and disciplines of life so as to fully share the common life of other people. Many things that we must accept in life are not to be taken so much as being necessary for us personally, as to be experienced in order that we may share in the sufferings and problems of humanity. We need sympathy and understanding. We must share many of the experiences of life, in order to understand and sympathize with others. Unless we have been through the same experiences, we cannot understand other people or their makeup well enough to be able to help them.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may accept everything that comes my way as a part of life. I pray that I may make use of it in helping other people.
 

Foundation of sobriety

On the foundation of sobriety, we can build a life of honesty, unselfishness, faith in God, and love of our fellow human beings. We’ll never fully reach these goals, but the adventure of building that kind of a life is so much better than the merry-go-round of our old drinking life that there’s no comparison. We come into AA to get sober, but if we stay long enough we learn a new way of living. We become honest with ourselves and with other people. We learn to think more about others and less about ourselves. And we learn to rely on the constant help of a Higher Power. Am I living the way of honesty, unselfishness, and faith?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that God had already seen my heart’s needs before I cried to Him, before I was conscious of those needs myself. I believe that God was already preparing the answer. God does not have to be petitioned with sighs and tears and much speaking. He has already anticipated my every want and need. I will try to see this, as His plans unfold in my life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may understand my real wants and needs. I pray that my understanding of those needs and wants may help to bring the answer to them.

Phone Call

 

If you were going to die soon and had only one call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

~Stephen Levine

When we were in the depths of our addiction, we could not be truly present in our relationships. We could not do the work of being caring and responsible. We were too focused on using alcohol or drugs to change our own feelings.

Now that we are sober, we can change. We clean up our messes when we work Steps Eight and Nine. We list the people we have harmed, think about it, and then we make amends to them.

Cleaning up our old messes makes us free to start over. We keep a better eye on our own behavior as we take our inventory every day in Step Ten, and we become decent, real human beings. We make real friends. Family members begin to trust us with their love. Our new sober life gradually fills up with people.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be a real human being today. Help me understand my importance to others and treat my relationships with the respect they deserve.

Today's Action

I will imagine that I don’t have long to live and have only one call I can make. Who will I call, and what will I say? And why am I waiting? I will make that call today. If I need support, I will get it from a friend.

from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations

Detaching in Love

Detachment is a key to recovery from codependency. It strengthens our healthy relationships—the ones that we want to grow and flourish. It benefits our difficult relationships— the ones that are teaching us to cope. It helps us!

Detachment is not something we do once. It’s a daily behavior in recovery. We learn it when we’re beginning our recovery from codependency and adult children issues. And we continue to practice it along the way as we grow and change, and as our relationships grow and change.

We learn to let go of people we love, people we like, and those we don’t particularly care for. We separate ourselves, and our process, from others and their process.

We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.

Today, I will apply the concept of detachment, to the best of my ability, in my relationships. If I can’t let go completely, I’ll try to “hang on loose.”

 

Act "as if."

You've got to get up every morning
With a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart.
Then people gonna treat you better.
You're gonna find, yes, you will,
That you're beautiful as you feel.

~Carole King

Act "as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows.

Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally, focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us.

The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about.

My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head­ on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day.

10 Meditations For Today

Blame

Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us.

~Eric Hoffer

It’s tempting to blame others for our problems. Recovery asks us to answer for our actions. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol and other drugs is a start. Each of the Twelve Steps asks us to answer for our actions in some way. The program shows us how to do this.

Over time, we see that being responsible for our actions is the best way to live. Our self-confidence grows as we become more responsible. We start to see just how much we can do. We have gone from being drunks to being responsible people. If we can do this, then we can do anything!

Prayer for the Day

Impatience!

 

~Michel de Montaigne

Our program isn’t working. We are misunderstood. Nothing’s going well at work. We just can’t see it through. Why doesn’t someone help us?

Impatience! We become fretful and blame others for our shortcomings.

Impatience! We lose touch with the tempo of life and our own particular rhythm.

Impatience! We are convinced our addiction will never stop tormenting us.

Let’s slow down and get back in touch with life’s movement. We know that all things have their season and their motion and their end. It may feel like winter, but spring will come and then summer. Nothing remains static; everything changes and grows. There is a pattern to all life—including ours—if we are patient enough to discern it.

I need to slow down to get in touch with the rhythms of my life and of life outside me.

 

In soloing--as in other activities--it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.
  —Amelia Earhart

Procrastination plagues us all, at one time or another. But any activity that is worthy of our effort should be tackled by bits and pieces, one day at a time. We are too easily overwhelmed when we set our sights only on the accomplished goal. We need to focus, instead, on the individual elements and then on just one element at a time. A book is written word-by-word. A house is built timber-by-timber. A college degree is attained course-by-course.


By the time we got to this program, most of us had accumulated a checkered past, much of which we wanted to deny or forget. And the weight of our past can stand in the way of the many possibilities in the present.

Our past need not determine what we set out to do today. However, we must be realistic: We can't change a behavior pattern overnight. But we can begin the process. We can decide on a reasonable, manageable objective for this 24-hour period. Enough days committed to the completion of enough small objectives will bring us to the attainment of any goal, large or small.

I can finish any task I set my sights on, when I take it one day at a time. Today is before me. I can move forward in a small way.

Let go of the past

 

With each new day I put away the past and discover the new beginnings I have been given.
  —Angela L. Wozniak


We can't recapture what is no more. And the minutes or hours we spend dwelling on what was or should have been only steal away from all that presently is. Today stands before us with promise. The opportunities for growth are guaranteed, as is all the spiritual help we need to handle any situation the day offers.

If today offers us a challenge, we can be grateful. Our challenges are gifts. They mean we are ready to move ahead to new awarenesses, to a new sense of our womanhood. Challenges force us to think creatively; they force us to turn to others; they demand that we change. Without challenges, we'd stagnate, enjoying life little, offering life nothing.

We each are making a special contribution, one that only we can make; each time we confront a new situation with courage. Each time we dare to open a new door. What we need to do today is to close the door on yesterday. Then we can stand ready and willing to go forward.

This day awaits my full presence. I will be the recipient of its gifts.
 

 From Each Day a New Beginning:

To have a crisis...

Exaggerating the negative element in our lives is familiar behavior for all too many of us. But this obsession is our choice. We can stop at any moment. We can decide to let go of a situation that we can't control, turn it over to God, and be free to look ahead at the possibilities for happiness.

Perhaps we can learn to accept a serious situation in our lives as a special opportunity for growth first of all, but even more as an opportunity to let God work in our lives. We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions. With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time.

Crises will lessen in number and in gravity in direct proportion to the partnership we develop with our higher power. The stronger our dependence on that power, for all answers and all directions, the greater will our comfort be in all situations.

Serenity is the gift promised when we let God handle our lives. No crisis need worry us. The solution is only a prayer away.

I will take action against every crisis confronting me - I will turn to God. Each crisis is an invitation to serenity.


From Each Day a New Beginning

 

Joker in the Glass

 

Chapter XXIII: His prescriptions for sobriety

You know, Dan, he [Dr. Bob] told me, many people coming into A.A. get the wrong conception of "Easy Does It", and I hope you don't. It doesn't mean that you sit on your fanny, stay home from meetings and let other people work the program for you. It doesn't mean you have an easy life without drinking. Easy Does It means you take it a day at a time.

He told me that before I could be honest with him or my sponsor or anyone else, I had to get honest with that joker in the glass.  

I didn't know what he meant by that joker in the glass. He told me that was the man in the looking glass. When you shave tomorrow, get honest with the man who looks back at you from the looking glass.

Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, page 282

Accept Responsibility

There is no provision for blaming others in our lives. Who we are is a composite of the actions, attitudes, choices, decisions we've made up to now. For many of us, predicaments may have resulted from our decisions to not act when the opportunity arose. But these were decisions, no less, and we must take responsibility for making them.

We need not feel utterly powerless and helpless about the events of our lives. True, we cannot control others, and we cannot curb the momentum of a situation, but we can choose our own responses to both; these choices will heighten our sense of self and well-being and may well positively influence the quality of the day.

I will accept responsibility for my actions, but not for the outcome of a situation; that is all that's requested of me. It is one of the assignments of life, and homework is forthcoming.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey

Moderation

Stay right-size.

~Anonymous

Today our target for a proper living pace is moderation. We know how easy it is to magnify, exaggerate, accent, and overindulge. The dependency and compulsion from which we are steadily recovering puts us among the world’s excessive people. Every day we need to tell ourselves that more is not necessarily better.

We also need to guard against unrestraint, greed, and envy. But we can adapt even dangerous instincts like fear and anger into self-improving assets if we can maintain moderation.

GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

Today my prayers consist mostly of saying thank you to my Higher Power for my sobriety and for the wonder of God's abundance, but I need to ask also for help and the power to carry out His will for me. I no longer need God each minute to rescue me from the situations I get myself into by not doing His will. Now my gratitude seems to be directly linked to humility. As long as I have the humility to be grateful for what I have, God continues to provide for me.

from the book Daily Reflections

loyalty

Reflection for the Day

One thing that keeps me on the right track today is a feeling of loyalty to other people in recovery, no matter where they may be. We depend on each other. I know, for example, that I’d be letting them down if I ever took a drink or used. When I entered recovery, I found a group of people who were not only helping each other, but who were loyal to each other. Am I loyal to my group and to my friends in recovery?

Working on our Recovery

Each of us has been given recovery. Now it’s up to each of us what we do with it. At times, we’ll work hard and grow quickly. At other times, our growth will be slower. This is okay. We’re not in a race. Our pace is not important. What is important is that we’re always working on our recovery.

We’re all part of a fellowship, a caring group. We’re one of many. But each of us is important. Each one of us will have a special way to work our programs through our readings, friends, meetings, and what we know of how life works. Each of us puts together a miracle of recovery. We then take our miracle and share it with others, so they can build their miracle.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me work at growing. Help me be a person who is an important part of a group.

Action for the Day

Today I’ll work at seeing myself as very important. I’ll remind myself that others’ recovery also depends on my recovery. I am needed.

from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.

~Sir Winston Churchill

How many times today will we think or say, “I wish I knew what was going to happen”? We can find contentment in the knowledge that God will take care of us, regardless of the outcome of any situation. And even more importantly, God already knows the outcome, and we’ll know it, too, when the time is right. We never need to worry; all is well. We’re given the knowledge and direction we need when we’re ready for it.

Laughter

The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

~Sebastien R.N. Chamfort

When we wallowed in the self-pity of obsession, we were sure we’d never laugh again. How easy it was to weep, alone and secretly, inspired by sad music like “Born to Lose” or “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.”

What a shock it was to hear people laugh in our first few meetings! How could they laugh about something as serious as addiction? What an awakening when we were able to join the laughter!

Living on the edge

Keeping life simple and quiet may at first seem boring. Many of us were used to living in extremes: situations were either going our way and we were ecstatic, or all hell had broken loose and we were enraged, perhaps even suicidal. It was our perspective, often a faulty one, that defined the way situations appeared. Creating chaos had become normal.

Our new life in recovery may at first seem strange. But in time deciding we want to live serenely and slowing down so we can think through circumstances before responding will begin to feel normal. How fortunate that we have a blueprint for doing this. The Twelve Steps and the slogans will make possible whatever change we want to make.

I didn’t know what serenity was before coming to a Twelve Step program. But it’s mine today and every day if I want it.

from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

Observe always that everything is the result of a change, and get use to thinking that there is nothing Nature loves so well as to change existing forms and to make new ones like them.  -Marcus Aurelius-

With all our hearts we want to live healthier, more inspired lives. We want ot embrace new ways of living. Yet something inside us resists change.

 Whats keeping us from taking the actions that will improve our well-being? Why aren't we pursing  the goals we've longed for?  What's preventing us from turning our will and life over to the care of a loving God?

  For most of us,the answer, in a word, is fear. We're fearful of the transition between the familiar an the unknown. We're afraid of the learning process as well as the discipline and the effort that will be required. One of greatest concerns is that we we'll fail.

Willingness

"A willingness to do whatever I was told to do simplified the program for me. Study the A.A. book - don't just read it. They told me to go to meetings, and I still do at every available opportunity, whether I am at home or in some other city. Attending meetings has never been a chore for me. Nor have I attended them with a feeling of just doing my duty. Meetings are both relaxing and refreshing to me after a hard day. They said 'Get active' so I helped whenever I could, and still do."
1976 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 381

Thought to Consider . . .

The ankle-biters of everyday struggles will eat away at me unless I go to meetings and call my sponsor.

AACRONYMS
A C T I O N
Any Change Toward Improving One's Nature

The Ready Pupil

God gave us two ears but only one mouth. Some say that’s because our Higher Power wanted us to spend twice as much time listening as we did talking.

~Anonymous

One of the most valuable things we can do is to become a good listener. When we concentrate on absorbing what wiser and more experienced members say, rather than thinking about what we imagine others want to hear from us, we will grow in our program. We are aware that “when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.”

Often, the teacher is an unlikely source. Some of the things we most need to hear may come from someone new to the program. If we are highly educated, it may come from someone with no education at all.If we are materially successful, it may come from someone who has nothing. We are all teachers and all students in the program. We constantly learn from each other, wherever or whoever we are.

I shall never stop learning as I will always be a pupil in my program. Thankfully, I will never graduate. There are no diplomas, only revelations. I will be a good listener.

Your past does not determine who you are

Your past does not determine who you are. Your past prepares you for who you are to become. God has given you a new beginning—a fresh start. Without discipline, there‘s no life at all.     
                                                                                                               --Katharine Hepburn

We all have deadlines we must meet. We have bills to pay, responsibilities at work, children with school projects - all the innumerable small markers that push life forward. When we realize we‘re procrastinating, we need to be committed to not shaming ourselves. Procrastination is not an indication that we have failed.

How realistic would it be if we looked forward to doing unpleasant things? It‘s human to avoid what we‘d rather not do. As we free ourselves from the burden of perfectionism, we‘re free to better accept our responsibilities. Meeting deadlines as well as we can, one at a time, pays off in serenity and a manageable life.

Value Ourselves

It seems like ages ago, but there was a time when our low self-esteem and fear of people caused us to feel and act like social misfits. Because we became easily flustered, we were frequently were tactless and clumsy. We rarely entered or departed rooms and situations but instead barged in or fled.

  Our feelings and behavior have changed dramatically because we have changed on the inside. Over months and years we've gained self awareness and have worked hard to grow and mature. We have developed faith and trust in God and, as the result, have a new source of inner strength.

  Today, we are usually poised and confident in social situations. Because we've come to know ourselves, it's easier to express ourselves.

Stressful Feelings

What we need more than anything else is more facts about feelings. 

                                                                                                                                      ~Dona Robinson~

We usually know when we are under stress;our body tells us-with a stiff neck, a gnawing stomach, a throbbing headache. W also usually know the source of the stress. How ever, we tend to characterize it in general terms--the job, the marriage, the money situation-and that's as far as we go.

  If we take the time to go further, were likely to find that out stress feelings are much the result of our reactions to life's events as the events themselves.

  That's why some of us wrote out a "stress inventory" during trying times. This practice helps us pinpoint the particular aspect of our job, or relationship, for example, that's upsetting us. More important, it can reveal how we may be contributing to the stress. Here are the kinds of questions we might ask.....