Your past does not determine who you are

Your past does not determine who you are. Your past prepares you for who you are to become. God has given you a new beginning—a fresh start. Without discipline, there‘s no life at all.     
                                                                                                               --Katharine Hepburn

We all have deadlines we must meet. We have bills to pay, responsibilities at work, children with school projects - all the innumerable small markers that push life forward. When we realize we‘re procrastinating, we need to be committed to not shaming ourselves. Procrastination is not an indication that we have failed.

How realistic would it be if we looked forward to doing unpleasant things? It‘s human to avoid what we‘d rather not do. As we free ourselves from the burden of perfectionism, we‘re free to better accept our responsibilities. Meeting deadlines as well as we can, one at a time, pays off in serenity and a manageable life.

Value Ourselves

It seems like ages ago, but there was a time when our low self-esteem and fear of people caused us to feel and act like social misfits. Because we became easily flustered, we were frequently were tactless and clumsy. We rarely entered or departed rooms and situations but instead barged in or fled.

  Our feelings and behavior have changed dramatically because we have changed on the inside. Over months and years we've gained self awareness and have worked hard to grow and mature. We have developed faith and trust in God and, as the result, have a new source of inner strength.

  Today, we are usually poised and confident in social situations. Because we've come to know ourselves, it's easier to express ourselves.

Stressful Feelings

What we need more than anything else is more facts about feelings. 

                                                                                                                                      ~Dona Robinson~

We usually know when we are under stress;our body tells us-with a stiff neck, a gnawing stomach, a throbbing headache. W also usually know the source of the stress. How ever, we tend to characterize it in general terms--the job, the marriage, the money situation-and that's as far as we go.

  If we take the time to go further, were likely to find that out stress feelings are much the result of our reactions to life's events as the events themselves.

  That's why some of us wrote out a "stress inventory" during trying times. This practice helps us pinpoint the particular aspect of our job, or relationship, for example, that's upsetting us. More important, it can reveal how we may be contributing to the stress. Here are the kinds of questions we might ask.....

FEAR AND FAITH

The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion - well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263 
Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free.

Higher Power’s will

If the will remains in protest, the individual needs to ask, “Is there something in me that is a cause of, or contributes to, my paralysis?”

~Rollo May

Trusting only our will is one of the characteristics of addiction. In our addiction, we used our will in a misguided way to try to deny the past or even change it. We used our will to try to control ourselves and others. Willpower, as such, has no place in recovery. Working a Twelve Step program helps us change the way we use our will.

Listen and learn

“Listen and learn”: It’s a slogan that becomes more useful the more we use it.

It’s not easy to admit that we don’t listen well. We may appear to be listening when we’re deep in conversation, but how much do we really hear? There is a big difference between listening and hearing.

From Twelve Step meetings and the sponsors and friends we acquire here, we have many opportunities to get the help we need, but we have to be willing first to listen and then to really hear what they tell us. Learning comes from hearing.

Taking it slowly

Let’s not make haste and demand perfection at once— this would only blind us. If we are impatient, we cannot work a daily program. But by exercising patience, we learn to recognize daily opportunities for growth.

It is worth waiting for, striving for, and working to develop a relationship with our Higher Power. It cannot be done overnight. Let’s not go too fast, but count each day as a new opportunity.

Am I learning to take it slowly?

Higher Power, I pray that I may meet each day with patience and grow closer to you.

I will take it easy today by…

from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

Gratitude

"Another exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings and then for a right acceptance of the many gifts that are mine - both temporal and spiritual. Here I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude. When such a brand of gratitude is repeatedly affirmed and pondered, it can finally displace the natural tendency to congratulate myself on whatever progress I may have been enabled to make in some areas of living. I try hard to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know."
Bill W., March 1962
1988 AA Grapevine, The Language of the Heart, p. 271 

Thought to Consider . . .

I have learned what a heart full of gratitude feels like. 

Anger

Happy Birthday A.A.!!!Imparted June 10, 1935!

Then the miracle happened - to me! It isn't always so sudden with everyone, but I ran into a personal crisis which filled me with a raging and righteous anger. And as I fumed helplessly and planned to get good and drunk and show them, my eye caught a sentence to the book lying open on my bed. 'We cannot live with anger.' The walls crumpled - and the light streamed in. I wasn't trapped. I wasn't helpless. I was free, and I didn't have to drink to 'show them.' This wasn't 'religion' - this was freedom! Freedom from anger and fear, freedom to know happiness and love."
1976 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 228

Staying in the Present Moment

Often, one of our biggest questions is “What’s going to happen?” We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, our life. It is easy to tangle ourselves up in worrisome thoughts.

Worrying about what’s going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering today’s lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what’s going to happen tomorrow will be for the best.

Broken Dreams