“We weren’t oriented toward fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all.”
Basic Text, p. 86
There were probably hundreds of times in our active addiction
when we wished we could become someone else. We may have wished we
could trade places with someone who owned a nice car or had a larger
home, a better job, a more attractive mate—anything but what we had. So
severe was our despair that we could hardly imagine anyone being in
worse shape than ourselves.
In recovery, we may find we are experiencing a different sort of
envy. We may continue to compare our insides with others’ outsides and
feel as though we still don’t have enough of anything. We may think
everyone, from the newest member to the oldest oldtimer, sounds better
at meetings than we do. We may think that everyone else must be working
a better program because they have a better car, a larger home, more
money, and so on.
The recovery process experienced through our Twelve Steps will
take us from an attitude of envy and low self-esteem to a place of
spiritual fulfillment and deep appreciation for what we do have.
We find that we would never willingly trade places with another, for
what we have discovered within ourselves is priceless.
Just for today: There is much to be grateful for in my life. I will cherish the spiritual fulfillment I have found in recovery.
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