As we work the first nine Steps, we prepare ourselves for the adventure of a new life. But when we approach Step Ten we commence to put our A.A. way of living to practical use, day-by-day, in fair weather or foul. Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88
I know the Promises are being fulfilled in my life, but I want to maintain and develop them by the daily application of Step Ten. I have learned through this Step that if I am disturbed, there is something wrong with me. The other person may be wrong too, but I can only deal with my feelings. When I am hurt or upset, I have to continually look for the cause in me, and then I have to admit and correct my mistakes. It isn’t easy, but as long as I know I am progressing spiritually, I know that I can mark my effort up as a job well done. I have found that pain is a friend; it lets me know there is something wrong with my emotions, just as a physical pain lets me know there is something wrong with my body. When I take the appropriate action through the Twelve Steps, the pain gradually goes away.
My thoughts on Reflection
The Steps have given me direction on how to live a good life today, compared to the insane/unmanageable life I lead before. Step 10 helps me with balance in my daily life. At any time during the day if I am feeling anxious, irritable, or discontent, I can stop and review my day and see why I am feeling this way. What a great tool ( Step) to have, as I didn't know to do that before. My day would just get worse until I exploded at anyone in my path. Also when I retire at night I ask God if there was anything in my day I owe amends for, or where I could do better tomorrow. I use to think the reason I felt angry or upset or uneasy was what YOU did to me and I would make sure you knew it!! Even letting you know how I felt I didn't feel any better, but with Step 10 I get freedom once I take that time to look at why I am feeling the way I am. It is wonderful to have that choice in my day, to stop look and see and be able to change how I am feeling and make amends if I need to. I still have those days, I speak before I think and have to go back to that person and apologize. I am not perfect, and don't want to be, as I would be with my maker then.
So I will keep coming and keep growing and working the Steps in my life.
God Bless you all