Letting go of the past

When we make big changes in our lives for the better, as we have all done, we naturally grieve the time we lost by not learning our lessons sooner. There’s no way to avoid that grief, but there’s no point in dwelling on it. Some of us get hooked by feelings of regret. We brood over the ways we let others down, and we wish we could relive certain events and do better with them this time. It is important for us all to release the past—let it go.

Our life is now. If we spend our conscious moments living in the past and regretting our mistakes, we never get on with

Action

 

"A New Year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes - a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four-hour frame, for if I do, I don't have to make New Year's resolutions!

I can make every day a New Year's Day! I can decide, 'Today I will do this . . . Today I will do that.' Each day I can measure my life by trying to do a little better, by deciding to follow God's will and by making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action."

c. 1990, Daily Reflections, page 374

THE JOY OF LIVING

 

  ... therefore the joy of good living is the

theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125

A.A. is a joyful program! Even so, I occasionally balk at taking the necessary steps to move ahead, and find myself resisting the very actions that could bring about the joy I want. I would not resist if those actions did not touch some vulnerable area of my life, an area that needs hope and fulfillment. Repeated exposure to joyfulness has a way of softening the hard, outer edges of my ego. Therein lies the power of joyfulness to help all members of A.A.

PROBLEM SOLVING

 

"Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems."

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 42

Through the recovery process described in the Big Book, I have come to realize that the same instructions that work on my alcoholism, work on much more. Whenever I am angry or frustrated, I consider the matter a manifestation of the main problem within me, alcoholism.

As I "walk" through the Steps, my difficulty is usually dealt with long before I reach the Twelfth "suggestion," and those difficulties that persist are remedied when I make an effort to carry the message to someone else.

These principles do solve my problems! I have not encountered an exception, and I have been brought to a way of living which is satisfying and useful.

Choices

Looking back we see that our freedom to choose badly was not, after all, a very real freedom. When we chose because we "must," this was not a free choice either. But it got us started in the right direction.
 

 When we chose because we "ought to" we were really doing better. This time we were earning some freedom, making ourselves ready for more.
 

 But when, now and then, we could gladly make right choices without rebellion,

As active addicts, we walked through life as if we were disposable. Shame kept telling us we had no value, and over time we acted as if we had no value. We acted as if how we conducted ourselves didn’t matter—but it did. A fellow addict used to say that it wouldn’t matter if he dropped dead tomorrow. When he died of his addiction, there were many tears at his funeral, especially by his children.

We must go out into our life and make a difference. With each new day that we stay sober and live by spiritual values, we get rid of a bit more shame. Over time the shame goes away, and we start to see the happiness

Help Me

How difficult it is to acknowledge that we need help! How it goes against the grain to admit we are needy. But “Help me!” is the password that opens the door to recovery.

When we say these words to our Higher Power, spouse or partner, or friend, we are really saying we are ready to be honest. For some of us, this may be the first honest personal statement we have made in many years.

When we ask others to help us learn to be free, to deal with our illusions, to shuck off our compulsions, we are asking them to help us turn on the light.

Real fellowship

A.A. Thought for the Day

Our drinking fellowship was a substitute one, for lack of something better. At the time, we did not realize what real fellowship could be. Drinking fellowship has a fatal fault. It is not based on a firm foundation. Most of it is on the surface. It is based mostly on the desire to use your companions for your own pleasure, and using others is a false foundation. Drinking fellowship has been praised in song and story. The "cup that cheers" has become famous as a means of companionship. But we realize that the higher centers of our brains are dulled by alcohol and such fellowship cannot be on the highest plane. It is at best only a substitute. Do I see my drinking fellowship in its proper light?

Meditation for the Day

Set for yourself the task of growing daily more and more into the consciousness of a Higher Power. We must keep trying to improve our conscious contact with God. This is done by prayer, quiet times, and communion. Often all you need to do is sit silent before God and let Him speak to you through your thought. Try to think God's thoughts after Him. When the guidance comes, you must not hesitate, but go out and follow that guidance in your daily work, doing what you believe to be the right thing.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be still and know that God is with me. I pray that I may open my mind to the leading of the Divine Mind.

Anger

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don’t wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships. When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbor anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit.
 

A NEW STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS

 

He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p 107

Many of us in A.A. puzzle over what is a spiritual awakening. I tended to look for a miracle, something dramatic and earth shattering. But what usually happens is that a sense of well-being, a feeling of peace, transforms us into a new level of awareness.
 

That's what happened to me. My insanity and inner turmoil disappeared and I entered into a new dimension of hope, love and peace. I think the degree to which I continue to experience this new dimension is in direct proportion to the sincerity, depth and devotion with which I practice the Twelve Steps of A.A.

Rewards

"The rewards of sobriety are bountiful and as progressive as the disease they counteract. Certainly among these rewards for me are release from the prison of uniqueness, and the realization that participation in the A.A. way of life is a blessing and a privilege beyond estimate - a blessing to live a life free from the pain and degradation of drinking and filled with the joy of useful, sober living, and a privilege to grow in sobriety one day at a time and bring the message of hope as it was brought to me."

From the new Fourth Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Grapevine, December 2001, p. 47

Thought to Consider . . .

We are not our thoughts, emotions, or urges.

AACRONYMS

G I F T S

Getting It From The Steps

New Relationship Behaviors

We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over-reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. We talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-responsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.

While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people, these are not behaviors intended only for use in what we call “dysfunctional relationships.”

These behaviors are our new relationship behavior

We need to be thankful

 

Reflection for the Day

No matter what it is that seems to be our need or problem, we can find something to rejoice in, something for which to give thanks. We need to be thankful. Thankfulness opens new doors to good in our life. Thankfulness creates a new heart and a new spirit in us. Do I keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them?

Today I Pray

May I be filled with the spirit of thankfulness. When I express my thanks, however fumbling, to my Higher Power or

Results of Prayer

 

"As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he should begin to add up the results. If he persists, he will almost surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that isn't tension-ridden. He can look at "failure" and "success" for what these really are.
 

 Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. He will feel freer and saner. The idea that he may have been hypnotizing himself by auto-suggestion will become laughable. His sense of purpose and of direction will increase. 
 

  His anxieties will commence to fade. His physical health will be likely to improve. Wonderful and unaccountable things will start to happen. Twisted relations in his family and on the outside will improve surprisingly."


GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1958

Who am I to judge other people

A.A. Thought for the Day

Who am I to judge other people? Have I proved by my great success in life that I know all the answers? Exactly the opposite. Until I came into A.A., my life could be called a failure. I made all the mistakes one could make. I took all the wrong roads there were to take. On the basis of my record, am I a fit person to be a judge of other people? Hardly. In A.A. I have learned not to judge people. I am so often wrong. Let the results of what they do judge them. It's not up to me, Am I less harsh in my judgment of people?

Meditation for the Day

In our time of meditation, we again seem to hear: "Come unto me, all ye that are weary and

Spiritual development

In our spiritual development, we learn to think about time in new ways. Many of us have come to our healing journey stuck in the past, imprisoned by fears or angers that arose years ago. We live in the past through regrets and griefs about things that can never change, and we translate them into the future with fears and foreboding. Yet we all know that life is only in the present. All we need to do is live today.

Our memories shaped us, but our development is not finished. Today, we don’t have to deal with all the problems we can foresee in the future. Today, we are given a hand to play, and we can play the cards we have as we choose. With the spiritual guidance of our recovery path,

I-S-M in Alcoholism

 

Alcohol is only a symptom of the disease alcoholism. You can take the alcohol out of alcoholism but what is left is the “ism” part of this disease. The ism is why we drank, the ism is what drove us to bad neighborhoods in our mind, who drove our bus. The ism will quickly get you drunk again if not addressed in recovery. The disease—the ‘ism’ of alcoholism—involves more than the act of drinking. The ism is what the successful recovering alcoholic addresses daily in their reprieve from alcohol in their journey of sobriety.

What is this ism part of alcoholism? Good acronyms for ism are : I, Self, Me or I Sponsor Myself or Internal Spiritual Malady, or Incredibly Short Memory or InSide Me or I Sabotage Myself. In short the “ism” is all about the alcoholic and how they cope with the many things encountered in life. This ism is one of self-centeredness taken to the extreme. The ism involves more than the act of drinking. Feelings of inadequacy, isolation, restlessness, anxiety, depression, fear and guilt are just a few of the “isms” that the alcoholic wrestles with daily. Other isms rears its ugly head showing over-reaction or just reacting, blaming others and defending yourself from perceived threats and fears. All of these feelings are internalized and exposed in twisted forms of alcoholic reality to friends and family and treated with alcohol by the alcoholic still suffering from the disease of alcoholism.

No matter what when you take away the alcohol, you still have the traits and characteristics that go with it. The ism is why we drank. The ism has to be addressed. We need a whole new way of life.

The Steps

Each day that we thoughtfully make choices about our behavior and our attitudes, we offer ourselves as examples to others—examples of strength.

As men and women on recovery paths, we find encouragement from one another's successes. No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. Too often we passively bounced from person to person, job to job, drunk to drunk.

When working the Steps, we are never in doubt about the manner for proceeding in any situation.

I Stand By The Door - by Reverend Sam Shoemaker

Bill Wilson obtained lots of A.A. ideas directly from Sam Shoemaker.
 

Some he got indirectly. But there was one message which came to Bill loud and clear and which he repeated in one way or another in every edition of the Big Book.
 

 "One argument in religion is about as good as another, but an experience beats any argument." In the BigBook, Bill speaks of the visit to him by his old friend, Ebby Thacher. Ebby had said to Bill, "I've got religion." Bill was musing about his own beliefs and about the futility of the religions of mankind.
 

Awakening

"Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? Again, the voice of A.A. speaks up. No, sobriety is only a bare beginning, it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. And if it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.

Humility

The wisdom of Native American spirituality is deeply centered on the natural world. It teaches us to respect the earth and all natural things. It teaches us, as many world religions do, that we are made of earth and live by the gifts of nature. Remember, the word humility comes from the word humus, meaning “of the earth.” When we become alienated or too far removed from nature, we become disconnected from ourselves. We lose our place and become willful.

Humility is not the same as shame.

Learning

It seems as if we’re particularly immature, especially in the early stages of recovery. When we were using, we handled all of our problems the same way: When faced with difficult relationships, we used. When faced with responsibilities, we used. When faced with life, we used. Substances took the place of learning experiences.

Fortunately, we’re in recovery now, and we can learn from our problems. We are more mature now that we understand our strengths and

Key to Sobriety

 "The unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning, his eloquence, or any special individual skills. The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety."

"In my first conversation with Dr. Bob, I bore down heavily on the medical hopelessness of his case, freely using Dr. Silkworth's words describing the alcoholic's dilemma, the 'obsession plus allergy' theme. Though Bob was a doctor, this was news to him, bad news. And the fact that I was an alcoholic and knew what I was talking about from personal experience made the blow a shattering one. You see, our talk was a completely mutual thing. I had quit preaching. I knew that I needed this alcoholic as much as he needed me."

1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, pp. 150-151
2. A.A. COMES OF AGE, pp. 69-70

3rd Step

 

The profound inner truth of our life is that we have a lifelong partnership with God. As we strengthen our awareness of this constant, love-filled presence, we’ll be less able to cloud our mind with critical thoughts. Any thought we choose to hold that is not blessing someone harms us as much as the other person. Returning our thoughts to God, even when our ego is struggling to think mean thoughts, will release us from the bondage of negativity.

Our Twelve Step program offers us freedom from this bondage every time we contemplate the Third Step.

Process

Working the Twelve Steps is the process of being and becoming. It is finding, knowing, and accepting who we are. It is having the willingness to fall down, stumble around, and make mistakes. It is being in tune with the constant process of death and rebirth that is part of life’s rhythm.

Each of us has an internal timetable—the rhythm of our spirit. Discovering what it is and living according to its direction can bring us untold serenity and joy. It also brings us energy, because we’re not fighting ourselves and reality. So often we are our own worst enemy. But to face who we are and to learn from it is to be created anew. In the process, we discover our own truths. Maybe that’s part of what a spiritual awakening is: seeing the truth in a new way.

Listen

We only want to hear good things. That we’re nice people. That our loved ones are healthy. That we did a good job. We don’t want to hear that anyone is angry with us, or that we made a mistake. We don’t want to hear about an illness or troubles.

But life isn’t just happy news. Bad things happen. We can’t change that. As we live our recovery program, we learn to handle the hard things without running back to our addiction.

Prayer & Meditation

Thought for the Day

"We cannot get along without prayer and meditation. On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when we start the day with prayer and meditation. We conclude this period of meditation with a prayer that we will be shown through the day what our next step is to be. The basis of all our prayers is: Thy will be done in me and through me today." Am I sincere in my desire to do God's will today?

Meditation for the Day

Breathe in the inspiration of goodness and truth.
 

Our challenges

 

We can't recapture what is no more. And the minutes or hours we spend dwelling on what was or should have been only steal away from all that presently is. Today stands before us with promise. The opportunities for growth are guaranteed, as is all the spiritual help we need to handle any situation the day offers.

If today offers us a challenge, we can be grateful. Our challenges are gifts. They mean we are ready to move ahead to new awarenesses, to a new sense of our womanhood. Challenges force us to think creatively; they force us to turn to others;
 

Meetings

 

The amount of time we invested in our addiction over the years was considerable. We spent countless hours feeding our addiction, thinking about feeding it, and trying to recover from the episode. A great investment of time was made.

We need to consider the idea that a tremendous amount of time invested in recovery is a wise choice. This disease of ours has deep wounds. Healing will take time. Just because we put the substance or behavior down does not mean they will put us down. Our program describes them as cunning, baffling, and powerful. Some old-timers add patient, too.

Out of Self

 

From: "Trying the Twelve Steps"

It may be that problem drinking is, indeed, as some psychological experts say, an ailment characterized especially by egocentricity. Not all alcoholics are egotistical, although many of us have learned to see that tendency in ourselves. Others of us felt inferior most of the time; we felt equal or superior to other people only when drinking.

No matter which type we were, we realize now that we were excessively self-centered, chiefly concerned about our feelings,

Clay Feet

Thought for the Day

We should remember that all A.A.'s have "clay feet." We should not set any member upon a pedestal and mark her or him out as a perfect A.A. It's not fair to the person to be singled out in this fashion and if the person is wise she or he will not wish it. If the person we single out as an ideal A.A. has a fall, we are in danger of falling, too. Without exception, we are all only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long we have been in A.A. Nobody is entirely safe. A.A. itself should be our ideal, not any particular member of it. Am I putting my trust in A.A. principles and not in any one member of the group?

Meditation for the Day

The inward peace that comes from trust in God truly passes all understanding.
 

A lesson exists in everything we experience.

It often seems ludicrous to believe that every situation involving us is by design. For instance, how could we have chosen to experience so closely and personally the disease of addiction? And why were we attracted to lovers who repeatedly abused us emotionally, if not physically? Lots of us absolutely intended to be good parents. So why did our children become substance abusers?

There are no adequate answers to these questions. We simply have to trust that what comes our way is meant for our ultimate good. Hindsight provides acceptance, if not always understanding.

Slow down

Our program teaches us to slow down. We learn to slow down by taking time out. During these time-outs, we look at our values and see if we’re staying true to them.

Because of that, meditation is an important part of our program. It asks us to take a bit of time to let ourselves not be rushed. We get to just look inside and connect with what we need.
Focusing on our breathing and noticing how that breath flows through us is one way to stop and connect.
 

On the spiritual pathway

 

On the spiritual pathway, we often ambush ourselves. We can be our own worst enemy. Or, as some in our program are fond of saying, “Our head is out to get us.” The unchecked ego is humankind’s only natural enemy, and the only one we need worry about. It is a great hindrance to spiritual progress.

Our ego is the accumulation of all our beliefs, beginning with those we formed in childhood, and it gives off confusing signals. It makes us afraid of failure, but it can also make us afraid of success.
 

A Time of Testing

 

A.A. Thought for the Day

We had become hopelessly sick people, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The power that controlled us was greater than ourselves - it was John Barleycorn. Many drinkers have said: "I hadn't gone that far; I hadn't lost my job on account of drink; I still had my family; I managed to keep out of jail. True, I took too much sometimes and I guess I managed to make quite an ass of myself when I did, but I still thought I could control my drinking. I didn't really believe that I was an alcoholic." If I was one of these, have I fully changed my mind?

Meditation for the Day

Painful as the present time may be; you will one day see the reason for it. You will see that it was not only testing, but also a preparation for the life-work that you are to do.
 

Making Mistakes

 

Everyone makes mistakes. We all know that. So why is it so hard to admit our own? We seem to think we have to be perfect. We have a hard time looking at our mistakes. But our mistakes can be very good teachers.

Our Twelve Step program helps us learn and grow from our mistakes. In Step Four, half of our work is to think of our mistakes. In Step Five, we admit our mistakes to our Higher Power, ourselves, and another person. We learn, we grow, and we become whole. All by coming to know our mistakes. The gift of recovery is not being free of mistakes. Instead, we do the Steps to claim our mistakes and talk about them. We find the gift of recovery when we learn from our mistakes.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to see my mistakes as chances to get to know myself better.

Bottom

 

From "Medicine Looks at Alcoholics Anonymous":

"I heard of the need to hit bottom, of the necessity for accepting a higher Power, of the indispensability of humility. These were ideas which had never crossed my professional horizon and certainly had never influenced my nonprofessional thinking or attitudes. Revolutionary as they were, they nevertheless made sense, and I found myself embarked on a tour of discovery.

The individual alcoholic was always fighting an admission of being licked, of admitting that he was powerless. If and when he surrendered, he quit fighting, admitted he was licked, and accepted the fact that he was powerless and needed help.

With God's help

Many days we wake up filled with confidence, enthusiasm, and gratitude for the blessings that have come to us through our recovery. We are even able to see that some of our earlier troubling moments were really blessings in disguise.

Our more positive attitude today changes our understanding of earlier experiences. And that’s the key to how the future will look. If we rely on God’s help, we’ll come to understand all our experiences as opportunities for growth and fulfillment.
 

We drank

We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank for strength and felt weak.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make conversation easier and slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.

A CHANGED OUTLOOK

                                            ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

When I was drinking, my attitude was totally selfish, totally self-centered; my pleasure and my comfort came first. Now that I am sober, self-seeking has started to slip away. My whole attitude toward life and other people is changing.
 

For me, the first "A" in our name stands for attitude. My attitude is changed by the second "A" in our name, which stands for action. By working the Steps, attending meetings, and carrying the message, I can be restored to sanity. Action is the magic word!

Living the Twelve Step way is a twenty-four-hour-a-day opportunity.

Twelve Step programs expose us to ideas that seem foreign. It takes time to embrace a new value system we can live by every day. Absorbing and using these principles for every decision and action removes the worry from our lives.

Changing how we’ve thought and acted doesn’t happen overnight. Changing one thing at a time is enough at first. Perhaps we’ll give up our feeling of hopelessness. The Second Step tells us that God can free us from our insanity, our hopelessness. All we need do is ask for help, and hope will come. Maybe we decide the urge to take over someone else’s life must end.

Change

 

It only takes one person to change your life - you.
  —Ruth Casey

Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.

We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.

When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.

Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.

Its Ok To Be Me

Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives . . . they have turned to easier methods . . . But they had not learned enough humility . . . 

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 72-73

Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself - and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally, it is okay to be me.
 

 It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I had better have a sponsor - someone with whom I can share those "certain facts" that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work.

Daily Reflections

WALKING THROUGH FEAR

 If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

When I had taken my Fifth Step, I became aware that all my defects of character stemmed from my need to feel secure and loved. To use my will alone to work on them would have been trying obsessively to solve the problem. In the Sixth Step I intensified the action I had taken in the first three Steps - meditating on the Step by saying it over and over, going to meetings, following my sponsor's suggestions, reading and searching within myself.
 

Lend a helping hand

 

Someone will be helped today by our kindness. Compassionate attention assures others that they do matter, and every one of us needs that reassurance occasionally. The program has given us the vehicle for giving and seeking the help we need—it's sponsorship.

Not all of the people we encounter share our program, however. Sponsorship as we know it isn't a reality in their lives. Offering words of encouragement to them, or a willing ear, can be unexpected gifts. They will be deeply appreciated.

THE FOREST AND THE TREES

 

. . . what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get his direct comment and counsel on our situation . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 60

I cannot count the times when I have been angry and frustrated and said to myself, "I can't see the forest for the trees!". I finally realized that what I needed when I was in such pain was someone who could guide me in separating the forest and the trees; who could suggest a better path to follow; who could assist me in putting out fires; and help me avoid the rocks and pitfalls.

I ask God, when I'm in the forest, to give me the courage to call upon a member of A.A.

CLEANING HOUSE

Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 60

It wasn't unusual for me to talk to God, and myself, about my character defects. But to sit down, face to face, and openly discuss these intimacies with another person was much more difficult. I recognized in the experience, however, a similar relief to the one I had experienced when I first admitted I was an alcoholic. I began to appreciate the spiritual significance of the program and that this Step was just an introduction to what was yet to come in the remaining seven Steps.