HOPE

Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat.

EXPECTATIONS vs. DEMANDS

Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings. It isn't wrong to expect progress of myself, good things from life, or decent treatment from others. Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become demands.
 
I will fall short of what I wish to be and situations will go in ways I do not like, because people will let me down sometimes. The only question is: "What am I going to do about it?" Wallow in self-pity or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or will I trust in God's power to bring blessings on the messes in which I find myself?
 

Reminder

We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day, "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

1976, 2001 AAWS
Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 87-8

Thought to Consider . . .

It works - it really does.

AACRONYMS

F I T

Faith, Intuition, and Trust

A PROGRAM FOR LIVING

I lacked serenity. With more to do than seemed possible, I fell further behind, no matter how hard I tried. Worries about things not done yesterday and fear of tomorrow's deadlines denied me the calm I needed to be effective each day. Before taking Steps Ten and Eleven, I began to read passages like the one cited above. I tried to focus on God's will, not my problems, and to trust that He would manage my day. It worked!  Slowly, but it worked! 

Maudlin Martyrdom

"Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford. "The remedy? Well, let's have a hard look at ourselves, and a still harder one at A.A.'s Twelve Steps to recovery. When we see how many of our fellow A.A.'s have used the Steps to transcend great pain and adversity, we shall be inspired to try these life-giving principles for ourselves."
 As Bill Sees It - LETTER, 1966

THE FALSE COMFORT OF SELF-PITY

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238

The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an ever bigger dose.

Depression feeds on itself

Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.
  —Dodie Smith

Depression feeds on itself. With attention it worsens, but there are places for our attention. We can move our focus to a woman/men who is close by, a woman/man who is struggling to determine her/his direction in life. We can offer our ears. Or we can observe attentively, today, all the women, children, and men we see on the streets. When we notice their expressions, we realize they, too, may be suffering.

Self-Pity

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
--Maya Angelou

Some days we grasp at self-pity like a blanket on a cold night, and we are momentarily comforted. However, extended periods of self-pity will undermine our primary purpose, which is to be at peace with ourselves and others so that we may know freedom from our addictions. Thus our self-pity prevents us from carrying a message of hope to fellow sufferers, that they too can find release from their suffering through the Twelve Steps.