Recovery

Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others.

Take a deep breath and talk to God

Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with.

If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them.

Vigilance

How do we remain vigilant about our recovery? First, by realizing that we have a disease we will always have. No matter how long we've been clean, no matter how much better our lives have become, no matter what the extent of our spiritual healing, we are still addicts. Our disease waits patiently, ready to spring the trap if we give it the opportunity.

Vigilance is a daily accomplishment. We strive to be constantly alert and ready to deal with signs of trouble. Not that we should live in irrational fear that something horrible will possess us if we drop our guard for an instant; we just take normal precautions.

Sharing with others

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There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.  Being lonely is a state of the heart, an emptiness that makes us feel sad and sometimes hopeless.  Loneliness is not always alleviated when we enter into relationships or surround ourselves with others.  Some of us are lonely even in a room full of people.

Many of us came to recovery out of the desperate loneliness of our addiction.  After coming to meetings, we begin to make new friends, and often our feelings of loneliness ease.  But many of us must contend with loneliness throughout our recovery.

New ideas

“We reevaluate our old ideas so we can become acquainted with the new ideas that lead to a new way of life.”

Basic Text, p. 94

Learning to live a new way of life can be difficult.  Sometimes, when the going gets especially hard, we’re tempted to follow the path of least resistance and live by our old ideas again.  We forget that our old ideas were killing us.  To live a new way of life, we need to open our minds to new ideas.

Working the steps, attending meetings, sharing with others, trusting a sponsor—these suggestions may meet our resistance, even our rebellion. 

Fear Of Change

"By working the steps, we come to accept a Higher Power's will.... We lose our fear of the unknown. We are set free."

Basic Text, p. 16

Life is a series of changes, both large and small. Although we may know and accept this fact intellectually, chances are that our initial emotional reaction to change is fear. For some reason, we assume that each and every change is going to hurt, causing us to be miserable. If we look back on the changes that have happened in our lives, we'll find that most of them have been for the best. We were probably very frightened at the prospect of life without drugs, yet it's the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Listening

“This ability to listen is a gift and grows as we grow spiritually.  Life takes on a new meaning when we open ourselves to this gift.”

Basic Text, p. 107

Have you ever watched two small children carry on a conversation?  One will be talking about purple dragons while the other carries on about the discomfort caused by having sand in one’s shoes.  We sometimes encounter the same communication problems as we learn to listen to others.

We may struggle through meetings, trying desperately to hear the person sharing while our minds are busy planning what we will say when it’s our turn to speak. 

God’s will, not ours

“We know that if we pray for God’s will we will receive what is best for us, regardless of what we think.”

Basic Text, p. 46

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By the time we came to AA, SH, or NA, our inner voices had become unreliable and self-destructive.  Addiction had warped our desires, our interests, our sense of what was best for ourselves.  That’s why it’s been so important in recovery to develop our belief in a Power greater than ourselves, something that could provide saner, more reliable guidance than our own.  We’ve begun learning how to rely on this Power’s care and to trust the inner direction it provides us.

As with all learning processes, it takes practice to “pray only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”  The selfish, ego-driven attitudes we developed in our addiction are not cast off overnight.