"So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so...."
That sentence says it all!. That was ME!! I thought it was everyone else for the way I was. From the first incident that happened to me as a kid and from there out I thought everyone and everything was the reason my life was so out of control. , So many people told me so, even my boyfriend (who is my husband now). Man that made me even more angry and full of self, but but but but but HA!
After I resigned that I was an alcoholic... I thought hey now life will change... people will change towards me, they didn't change!! dang-it!! I wasn't drinking any more and I was going to a lot AA meetings and they still felt ill towards me. I so didn't get it so I relapsed.
When i came back, I thought it would be different. It wasn't, I was still so full of self and I almost relapsed in my 6th year, but now knowing I didn't want to. I wanted to stay sober more then go back out that much I knew!! So I got with a new sponsor who I saw was changing, who wasn't so full of them self. We got together and I did the work out the big book. When we got to this point of Step 3... we discussed in the chapters before it, Step 1 and 2 where in Step 1 , I made the decision I was an alcoholic and didn't I want to drink any more and saw how insane my life really was that I was the problem and in Step 2 I made a decision to be willing to believe in power greater then me. So now in Step 3 I was going to make a big decision to turn my will and life over to the care of a Higher Power of my understanding and let Him help me go further on with the steps that followed. My sponsor had me write my own step 3 prayer, I didn't want to but I did, as I was willing! She said I didn't have to use the one in book if I didn't want to, there are others and also the one Dr Bob wrote.
So basically all I am doing here is making a conscious decision to let the Higher Power, of my understanding, help me to let go of my thinking, my ways, and start praying to this HP.
It doesn't magically happen!! It takes time and practice everyday!
It's a process and as I went thru the rest of the steps, I found the more i would pray, talk to my HP, listened and took action my life began to change!! I was willing, very willing. I didn't want to be that same self-centered, selfish person I was all my life and funny how it is, no one changed but me during all this and life was so much better go figure LOL
Life is good today, if I stay out the way!!! I need u all u r my support and reminders
Love & Blessings DS