Self-destructive personalities

 

“There is something in our self-destructive personalities that cries for failure.”

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“Poor me; woe is me; look at me, my life is such a mess!  I’ve fallen, and no matter how hard I try, I continue to fail.”  Many of us came to Recovery singing this sad refrain.

Life isn’t like that anymore.  True, sometimes we still stumble; at times we even fall.  Sometimes we feel like we can’t move forward in our lives, no matter how hard we try.  But the truth of the matter is that, with the help of other recovering people , we find a hand to pull us up, dust us off, and help us start all over again.  That’s the new refrain in our lives today.

No longer do we say, “I’m a failure and I’m going nowhere.”  Usually, it’s more like, “Rats!  I hit that same bump in the road of life again.  Pretty soon I’ll learn to slow down or avoid it entirely.”  Until then, we may continue to fall down occasionally, but we’ve learned that there’s always a helping hand to set us on our feet again.

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Just for today:  If I begin to cry failure, I’ll remember there is a way to move forward.  I will accept the encouragement and support of recovering people.

A thousand eyes, but none with correct vision.

A thousand eyes, but none with correct vision.
--Isacher Hurwitz

William Shakespeare referred to envy as the "green sickness." There are only losers in the game of envy. When we envy someone else, we have judged ourselves and found something lacking.

Lack of self-love is the soil in which envy grows. Envious people are never satisfied. Self-pity is never sitting far from envy. We feel sorry for ourselves for what we don't have. Self-pity is like a swamp, the longer we stand in the muck, the more we stink.

Concentrating on what we do have is the perfect antidote for envy. Every one of us has our own special gifts and talents. We find these by looking at ourselves instead of looking at others. By becoming grateful for what we have, we can rejoice in ourselves.

Today let me be grateful for what I have.

Is not drinking enough?

 Donna S alcoholic from NJ 

 Happy, Joyful & Free due to the grace of God.

"Is not drinking enough?"
......for me i had to learn the hard way. I found out there's more to it then not drinking, There's more to it then just showing up, there's more to it then fellowship, there more to it them the 12 Steps, and giving  back. I have to get up everyday and work on my spiritual condition as it is the only way for me to stay Happy, Joyous and Free. I have to ask God, my Higher Power, to help me. Anyone can go thru the steps, I did and I didn't follow thru.  I still have to open that book that collects dust, that's on  many people shelves, i know mine did for years.  I left it in the car so i wouldn't forget it. Well I almost drank in my 6th  year because i didn't take it all that seriously and didn't continue to  read the big book or the other AA material that's out there. It is there for a reason! I speak for myself, and if I continue to work on my self , I have to as I get complacent easily. I don't want to go back to being depressed  and into self as hard as it is some day's.  So I  read the meditations,  I talk to God, I talk to other alcoholics, go to meetings and give back and I continue to seek spiritual sobriety.
I just bought another book to read about the 12 Steps by Joe McQ,  and I read one awhile back on Spiritual Recovery. 
I  went to  ANY LENGTHS  when I was in my addiction, so now I  go to ANY LENGTHS for my recovery!!  I  am at peace with myself, most the time and that I thought was never going to be possible.
So to answer the question, Is not drinking enough? NO,I have to go to any lengths every day to keep Spiritually Fit!
I love reading new things and learning more about life and what I can use to further my Spiritual being.
I need u all , so please keep coming.  If you are new, Just keep coming, One day at a time
Love & Blessings

Letting the Good Stuff Happen

 

Before recovery, my relationships were lousy. I didn't very well on my job. I was enmeshed in my dysfunctional family. But at least I knew what to expect!

---- Anonymous

I want the second half of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I'm afraid it won't be. Sometimes, I'm frightened it might be.

  In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard time.
 The past may have become comfortable familiar. Our relationships were repeats of the same pattern--the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again.They
may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.

 This is not so when we begin recovering. Then things change. And the further we progress in this miraculous program, the more we and our circumstances change.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting

He's making me crazy. I don't understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. Then about the time I'm ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, What's wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overact? I don't get it, I don't understand.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And when we're talking on the phone, I feel like I'm the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he's lying to me. I know he's seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. I don't understand why I feel so insane.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can't stand that lying stuff, especially when I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can't take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he's standing there looking calm and serene and I'm acting like an insane person.

It's not you, It's him. How about that meeting?

Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.

"Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable." Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time.


Detach in love. Disentangle. UN-embroil yourself from other people's insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It's a value many of us learned the hard way.

Willingness

He who requires urging to do a noble act will never accomplish it.
--Kahlil Gibran

The Third Step speaks of willingness. Willingness puts our hearts and souls into the task at hand. Willingness doesn't get rid of the fears, but it helps us find the courage to work through them. Willingness doesn't give us the knowledge to solve the problem, but it may give us the energy to leave our isolation and seek out others with the knowledge. Willingness doesn't do away with ego; it just shows us an alternative to ego. Willingness is the voice of our Higher Power saying, "I believe in you and want you to do the same." Willingness is the seed wanting to break through the soil to see the light of day, to be what it is meant to be.

Prayer for the Day

I pray for willingness to do the next right thing. I seek courage, knowledge, the support of others, and my Higher Power's guidance.

Today's Action

I will work to notice how willingness is behind all actions. I will work today to be a willing participant in my own life, and in my own recovery.

This too shall pass

 

I used to think I'd never know the difference between serenity and depression because depression subdued me.
  —S.H.

Depression is familiar to us all, and less incapacitating than it used to be. We have made progress - we can be assured. "This too shall pass" is not an empty slogan.

Each of us can recall, with ease probably, a period we thought we'd never survive. Maybe our problem was family-related, or a tough on-the-job situation. Or maybe we felt inadequate and lacking in strength to cope with all situations. But we managed. Here we are today, taking charge of our lives and moving forward in search of serenity.

Serenity no doubt eludes us, again and again, throughout the day. But we can let our minds rest. We can give our thoughts to the wind, and serenity will find us. Serenity's peace nurtures us, strengthens us to withstand the turmoil ahead. There is always turmoil ahead. Life's lessons are found there. The irony is that a life with no problems doesn't offer the opportunities we must have if we are to grow.

I will let the serene moments wash over me. I will cherish them. They soften me. And the blows of today's tumultuous storm will be lessened.

Thank God-whatever God is-

Thank God-whatever God is-that there is room in this program for a God of my understanding.

In the beginning I resisted the notion of God and only chose a version that was just enough to keep me sober that day.
I wasn't particularly interested in a lifelong commitment.

Seeing God as Good Orderly Direction worked just fine, for a while, but it was still a halfhearted concession.

But on my darkest day in sobriety, the only thing that ultimately stood between me and a drink was a power greater than what ii could name.

The feeling of God working in my life in that moment became so personal and so big that I couldn't explain it; I only has time to embrace it.

I've never been worried about what to call it since.

Thanks for giving me plenty of room to work that out!

Big Book on Resentments... Page 552, 4th Edition

Someone was having a problem with resentment in the meeting this morning in StepChat , and I told them to read this as I was told to and it helped me!
So I figured I would post it here so I have it handy.


"If you have resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it everyday for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate, understanding and love."

Forming new habits

We form habits and then these habits begin to form us. For so long we had such self-destructive ways of being: We were self-centered, angry, and critical people, and so we behaved selfishly, angrily, and judgmentally in the world.

To stay clean and sober we must develop new habits, new patterns of living. We must give up old hangouts, old friends, old attitudes, and ideas. It seems this is the only way to form new habits - for example, kindness, love, and honesty - on which our program is based.

What habits do I want to develop?

Higher Power, Help me to form new habits to replace the old ones that nearly destroyed my life.

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves

 

You are reading from the book:Keep It Simple

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.
--Eric Hoffer

When we're not honest with others, we're not being honest with ourselves. In recovery, we're taught how to heal our hearts. We admit we're wrong, and we do it quickly. We let our spirit speak out. We listen to our spirit. We let our spirit have the loudest voice. This way, lies lose power over us. We find a way to be true to our spirit.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, You have a soft, quiet voice inside of me. Help me, through meditation, to hear You better. Yours is the voice I want to follow.

Action for the Day

I'll listen to my Higher Power. I'll list any lies I've been telling myself and others lately. Then I'll find someone I trust and tell that person what I've lied about.

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