I started a Web Site in 1999 when I came back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Tripod decided to block me a few years ago , so I stopped writing, posting. SO I decided to take the posts I had there and put them here. Plus new ones I found on the net and shares of my own. Take what you need and pass on the rest! Blessings ds♥

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Letting Go of Sadness

A block to joy and love can be unresolved sadness from the past.

In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny the pain: It doesn't hurt that much…. Maybe if I just wait, things will change.… It’s no big deal. I can get through this…. Maybe if I try to change the other person, I won’t have to change myself.

We denied that it hurt because we didn’t want to feel the pain.

Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That’s one lesson we are learning in recovery from codependency and adult children issues.

Many of us didn’t have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It’s okay. We’re safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of feeling what we have denied so long—not to blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation for a better life.

It’s okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It’s an acceptance process. It moves us from our past, into today, and into a better future—a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.

God, as I move through this day, let me be open to my feelings. Today, help me know that I don’t have to either force or repress the healing available to me in recovery. Help me trust that if I am open and available, the healing will happen naturally, in a manageable way.

Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie.


  1. I found your site trough Google. Thanks for your inspiring words I identify!
    I am trying to get the courage to sit through the grieving process and do it sometimes
    What is blocking me is using food to cope with some current problems I'm having in one of the fellowships I belong to where a young woman began slandering me while she was marrying someone. It has been going on for a long time and a lot of people have been helping her. She is narcissist yes. How do I stop being her victim and rescuing her? I don't know her and have never done anything to her. It started when I started growing. Thanks for any experience you can share

  2. Donna, this is one of my favorite readings. It gives relevance to my life in many ways. Thank you for posting.

  3. Anon,
    I have chosen to go Anon myself to answer your question because it is not a popular topic, yet you deserve wellness.
    I have seen things like this done in AA, usually to women who have things others don't want them to have.
    If the men are attracted or could be attracted to the woman being "watched", things can get serious.
    These peopl are sick people. Don't give them the power to kill you.
    You can say something about it with love if you choose to. YOU have the choice.
    But ultimately this will be inside work for you around being ok with you.
    People who do things like that in AA usually don't do very well later. This is a just world we live in
    Believe that and find your courage.