A FULL AND THANKFUL HEART

I try hard to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37

I believe that we in Alcoholics Anonymous are fortunate in that we are constantly reminded of the need to be grateful and of how important gratitude is to our sobriety. I am truly grateful for the sobriety God has given me through the A.A. program and am glad I can give back what was given to me freely.

Working with other alcoholics

Thought for the Day

Strength comes also from working with other alcoholics. When you are trying to help a new prospect with the program, you are building up your own strength at the same time. You see the other person in the condition you might be in yourself and it makes your resolve to stay sober stronger than ever. Often, you help yourself more than the other person, but if you do succeed in helping the prospect to get sober, you are stronger from the experience of having helped another person. Am I receiving strength from working with others?

Meditation for the Day

The pain of change

The pain of change is a reality. But so is the pain of no change - when change is called for. In spite of our desires, changing others will never be an option, whereas changing ourselves takes only a decision and is a choice always available.

We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? We can let go of that behavior and responsibly choose a new tack. If strength is needed, or confidence to try a new behavior, we can simply ask that it be ours. The Third Step promises that our lives are in God's care and our needs are always being attended to - not always our wants, but in every instance our needs.

I will keep calm

A.A. Thought for the Day

Terrible things could have happened to any one of us. We never will know what might have happened to us when we were drunk. We usually thought: "That couldn't happen to me." But any one of us could have killed somebody or have been killed ourselves, if we were drunk enough. But fear of these things never kept us from drinking. Do I believe that in A.A. we have something more effective than fear?

Meditation for the Day

When we give ourselves.....

We receive from life, from every experience, from each interaction according to what we have given. When we commit ourselves fully to an experience, it will bless us. When we give ourselves wholly to any moment, our awareness of reality will be heightened. When we risk knowing someone else, truly knowing them, we will find ourselves.

How common, and how unfortunate, that so many of us "escape" life! We escape through hiding, hiding from ourselves and others. We fear self-disclosure, our own and someone else's. Before choosing abstinence, our escape was easier. Now, the Steps make escape hard, fortunately.

MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic circumstances improve, are two different things. When I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. I thought fear would leave me only when I started making money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial difficulties: "For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded." (p. 127). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.

God's presence

Thought for the Day

When we were drinking, we used to be ashamed of the past. Remorse is terrible mental punishment: ashamed of ourselves for the things we've said and done, afraid to face people because of what they might think of us, afraid of the consequences of what we did when we were drunk. In A.A. we forget about the past. Do I believe that God has forgiven me for everything I've done in the past, no matter how black it was, provided I'm honestly trying to do the right thing today?

Meditation for the Day

Flack from Setting Boundaries

When we own our power to take care of ourselves - set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern - we may get flack from some people. That's okay. We don't have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.

We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.

People will react when we do things differently or take assertive action to nurture ourselves, particularly if our decision in some way affects them. Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway.

Prayer

"As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he should begin to add up the results. If he persists, he will surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that isn't tension-ridden. He can look at 'failure' and 'success' for what these really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. Wonderful and unaccountable things will start to happen."
Bill W., Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, June 1958
As Bill Sees It, p. 321

Thought to Consider . . .

Trying to pray is praying.

AACRONYMS

B S
Before Sobriety

Realistic self-concept

Looking back to the codependent or addictive times in our lives, we see with the perfect vision of hindsight. It is both embarrassing and humorous to see how misguided and deluded we were then. Grandiose images of ourselves isolated us from those around us and cut us off from true friendships with others. Many of us had strong feelings about ourselves that were in conflict—we felt both special and unworthy.

In this program we grow over time to have a more realistic self-concept. We are not exactly like everyone else, but we are more like them than different.

Breach the Walls of Ego

"People who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind themselves to their liabilities. Newcomers of this sort scarcely need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the light of reason can shine."

"The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all.

Procrastination

"After a preliminary trial at making amends, we may enjoy such a sense of relief that we conclude our task is finished. We will want to rest on our laurels. The temptation to skip the more humiliating and dreaded meetings that still remain may be great. We may just procrastinate, telling ourselves the time is not yet, when in reality we have already passed up many a fine chance to right a serious wrong. Let's not talk prudence while practicing evasion."
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 85

Thought to Consider . . .

Procrastination is really sloth in five syllables.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 67

AACRONYMS

D E A D
Drinking Ends All Dreams

Intimacy means disclosure

Intimacy means disclosure - l expression of ourselves to another person. Nothing held back. All bared. There are risks, of course: rejection, criticism, perhaps ridicule. But the comfort we feel within is directly proportional to the peace we've come to know.

Each day we commit ourselves to recovery, we find a little more peace. Each conversation we have with our higher power brings us a little more security. Each time we turn our full attention to another person's needs, we feel our own burdens lightened.

Peace comes in stages. As we continue to accept our powerlessness, the depth of our peace increases. Turning more often to a power greater than ourselves eases our resistance to whatever condition prevails.

Positive Energy

It's so easy to look around and notice what's wrong.

It takes practice to see what's right.

Many of us have lived around negativity for years. We've become skilled at labeling what's wrong with other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, our conduct, our recovery, and ourselves.

We want to be realistic, and our goal is to identify and accept reality. However, this is often not our intent when we practice negativity. The purpose of negativity is usually annihilation.

Negative thinking empowers the problem. It takes us out of harmony. Negative energy sabotages and destroys. It has a powerful life of its own.

A.A. opens the door

Thought for the Day

Before we decide to quit drinking, most of us have to come up against a blank wall. We see that we're licked, that we have to quit. But we don't know which way to turn for help. There seems to be no door in that blank wall. A.A. opens the door that leads to sobriety. By encouraging us to honestly admit that we're alcoholics and to realize that we can't take even one drink, and by showing us which way to turn for help, A.A. opens the door in that blank wall. Have I gone through that door to sobriety?

Meditation for the Day

Trusting Ourselves

Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery. Who do we trust? For what?

The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves.

There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves; we are off base and out of whack. There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves.

Fear and doubt are our enemies. Panic is our enemy. Confusion is our opposition.

Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves. How do we acquire it? We learn it. What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? We accept them, and trust ourselves anyway.

A.A. works

A.A. Thought for the Day

People often ask what makes the A.A. program work. One of the answers is that A.A. works because it gets a person away from himself as the center of the universe. And it teaches him to rely more on the fellowship of others and on strength from God. Forgetting ourselves in fellowship, prayer, and working with others is what makes the A.A. program work. Are these things keeping me sober?

Meditation for the Day

Do God's will

A.A. Thought for the Day

There are two important things we have to do if we want to get sober and stay sober. First, having admitted that we're helpless before alcohol, we have to turn our alcoholic problem over to God and trust Him to take care of it for us. This means asking Him every morning for the strength to stay sober that day and thanking Him every night. It means really leaving the problem in God's hands and not reaching out and taking the problem back to ourselves. Second, having given our drink problem to God, we must cooperate with Him by doing something about it ourselves. Am I doing these two things?

Meditation for the Day

Fear is everywhere

A.A. Thought for the Day

Sometimes we try too hard to get this program. It is better to relax and accept it. It will be given to us, with no effort on our part, if we stop trying too hard to get it. Sobriety can be a free gift of God, which He gives us by His grace when He knows we are ready for it. But we have to be ready. Then we must relax, take it easy, and accept the gift with gratitude and humility. We must put ourselves in God's hands. We must say to God: "Here am I and here are all my troubles. I've made a mess of things and can't do anything about it. You take me and all my troubles and do anything you want with me." Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?

Meditation for the Day

Spiritual Growth

"When we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. If we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was."

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 47

Thought to Consider . . .

Spirituality is the ability to get our minds off ourselves.

AACRONYMS

W I S D O M
When Into Self, Discover Our Motives

A LIFELONG TASK

I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked, "Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?"
 
 Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial "kid in a candy store." I couldn't wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months' work, or so I thought!
 
I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking.

Self-will

No matter how one wishes to try, exactly how can he turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? A beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed. Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 35
As Bill Sees It, p. 35

AACRONYMS

E D I not D I E
Easy Does It not Does It Easy

Our actions toward others

We like ourselves best when we like those around us. When we smile at them, they smile back; when we ask them, they tell us about themselves. When we scowl at people, they'll frown back; when we ignore them, they'll walk away.

It's true that we get back what we put into things, whether it's work, play, love, or gardening. We decide by the extent of our commitment how valuable or enjoyable or depressing an experience can be for us.

Two important things

Thought for the Day

There are two important things we have to do if we want to get sober and stay sober. First, having admitted that we're helpless before alcohol, we have to turn our alcoholic problem over to God and trust Him to take care of it for us. This means asking Him every morning for the strength to stay sober that day and thanking Him every night. It means really leaving the problem in God's hands and not reaching out and taking the problem back to ourselves. Second, having given our drink problem to God, we must cooperate with Him by doing something about it ourselves. Am I doing these two things?

Meditation for the Day

Can I allow my kindness

Some of us may think Walt Whitman must have been terribly conceited to have written words like that. But he wasn't. He knew himself well, and accepted himself, even his darker side. He could laugh at himself and celebrate his humanness.

And because he loved and accepted himself just as he was, others could do the same. That's difficult to understand sometimes, but it's true: no one else is going to love and accept us until we come to love and accept ourselves.

Having surrendered our lives to God

Thought for the Day

Having surrendered our lives to God and put our drink problem in His hands doesn't mean that we'll never be tempted to drink. So we must build up strength for the time when temptation will come. In this quiet time, we read and pray and get our minds in the right mood for the day. Starting the day right is a great help in keeping sober. As the days go by and we get used to the sober life, it gets easier and easier. We begin to develop a deep gratitude to God for saving us from that old life. And we begin to enjoy peace and serenity and quiet happiness. Am I trying to live the way God wants me to live?

Meditation for the Day

Illness

"Few indeed are the practicing alcoholics who have any idea how irrational they are, or seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. Some will be willing to term themselves 'problem drinkers,' but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill.
 

They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism.
 

 'Sanity' is defined as 'soundness of mind.' Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction fell on the dining-room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim 'soundness of mind' for himself."

1952, AAWS, Inc.; Printed 2005
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pgs. 32-33

Letting Go of Denial

We may have denied events or feelings from our past. We may have denied other people's problems; we may have denied our own problems, feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs. We denied the truth.
Denial means we didn't let ourselves face reality, usually because facing that particular reality would hurt. It would be a loss of something: trust, love, family, perhaps a marriage, a friendship, or a dream. And it hurts to lose something or someone.

Denial is a protective device, a shock absorber for the soul. It prevents us from acknowledging reality until we feel prepared to cope with that particular reality. People can shout and scream the truth at us, but we will not see or hear it until we are ready.

We are sturdy yet fragile beings. Sometimes, we need time to get prepared, time to ready ourselves to cope. We do not let go of our need to deny by beating ourselves into acceptance; we let go of our need to deny by allowing ourselves to become safe and strong enough to cope with the truth.

HOPE

Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat.

Within

From "Inner Voice":

"Long before nagging and pressures from others concerning my excessive use of alcohol made any impression on me, the nagging voice of conscience my own inner voice of truth and right apprised me of the irrevocable fact that I had lost control of alcohol, that I was powerless.
 

 I know now that the inner voice was God, as I understand Him, speaking. For, as I had been taught from earliest memory and as A.A. has emphasized, God or good emanates from within each of us."

Lakewood, Ohio, USA

1973 AAWS, Inc.; 30^th Printing 2004
Came to Believe, pg. 83

Meetings

A "spiritual experience" to me meant attending meetings, seeing a group of people, all there for the purpose of helping each other; hearing the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at a meeting, and hearing the Lord's Prayer, which in an A.A. meeting has such great meaning - "Thy will be done, not mine." A spiritual awakening soon came to mean trying each day to be a little more thoughtful, more considerate, a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact.
c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 356

Thought to Consider . . .

A UNIQUE STABILITY

Where does A.A. get its direction? . . . These practical folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience . . . The elder statesman is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision, who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 132, 135