Donna S alcoholic.....
I cant help everyone, it is sad some don't get it..but i was told they are my reminders of what is still out there. I never give up though, i let them know i am here for them and my door is always open ( cell phone as well). I remember when i was new and how hard it was... not know what to think, how to act, and all these people saying different things, read this, read that, do this, do that, argggg slow down please!! BUT, I learned a lot though from those people.
The main thing i heard is don't take it to heart as everyone has an opinion and we all know what that means. lol My sponsor told me, if u don't like what someone says, it means YOU need to hear it!!! It took time for me to get that message, but i did over time.
I've seen people come and go over the years since I've been in recovery. Some passed away sober, some not. The book says we not only help the alkie who is suffering but we can be of service to there family.
I have been there for the spouse of the people I sponsored, suggesting Alanon and explain that pushing them wont make then get better. Explaining how it is a family disease and that we all need to get healthy and if that alkie in ur life isn't getting better you can!!
I've taken a wife of a sponcee thru the steps. She came to all the open meetings with us. He couldn't read well, so he did the steps differently and he past away sober. It feels good to help others and it takes the focus off me! Funny how that works! They don't have to be new.....i have had people with time talk to me in length about something there going thru and all they needed was an ear to bounce it off of. I learned people don't always want me to reply, they just want me to listen, give them a hug, let them know i care and here for them.
Its hard getting sober and harder when u relapse i know I've relapsed so I try to share that with those who r struggling with coming back, but then i let them be...Sometimes they just want to be left alone and i pray they come back and stay and listen. I cant save any one! Something i tried to do when i was active as i was was one who always try to help others but i never helped myself. I have a son who is like that and I SEE how it is hurting him, so i pray!! Family are the hardest to help..and i backed off of trying and i just pray and be an example.
I try to explain to new people after a bit, when the fog clears about the mental part of this disease and how it plays with our minds telling us it is OK to have a drink. I know my disease was talking to me all the time and when i would give in to it and pick up, that physical craving got stronger and i couldn't stop! I found when i finally wanted to stay sober, that i had to fight those mental urges. I had to reach out and tell on self, call someone, get busy doing something , and get to a meeting. As time goes on and i start working the steps, that mental urge got less and then working with others really seals the deal!!!