But by the grace of God, there go

In early sobriety, I sometimes had trouble identifying with other people’s alcoholism, and often wondered whether I belonged. After all, I had never been to prison for manslaughter while driving drunk. I never robbed a liquor store in a blackout, or woke up in a different state – or country – not know how I had gotten there. There were countless other things that had never happened to me either. As I discussed this with my sponsor, he said I hadn’t experienced these things – yet.

As I started working the Steps and writing inventories,
I began to see what he meant. First of all, I actually had crashed a car while drunk, and I had been arrested for it when I was seventeen. Thankfully, I hit an empty parked car, and no one in my vehicle was injured. Other inventories revealed plenty of times I blacked out and came to in strange circumstances. As I looked deeper, I identified more with the stories I heard, and I felt the gravity of the word “yet.”
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Today, I know my stories could have ended very differently if I had continued drinking, and any of the outcomes I heard others share could easily have been my fate as well. Moreover, I also know that any of these terrifying endings could be in my future as well – they are only one drink away. Today, when I see or hear these stories, I say a quiet prayer of gratitude, for I know that “but by the grace of God, there go I…”