Change

I used to say that stopping drinking was easy – I did it hundreds of times. After a particularly bad drunk, I would wake up with that sick hangover and demoralizing memories of what I had done. Then and there I swore off alcohol. Sometimes I lasted a week or longer, but ultimately I would end up with a drink in my hand. Stopping drinking was easy; staying stopped? Well…

When I got sober in the rooms, I told my sponsor that I already knew how to not drink, what I didn’t know was how to live without always wanting to. He told me the key was changing who I was inside, so that the new man I became didn’t want a drink any longer. Why don’t I just change my eye color, I thought; how in the world am I going to accomplish that? He said we would do it one day at a time through working the Twelve Steps of recovery.


I must admit I was skeptical, scared, resentful, and a thousand other emotions, but each day I took his suggestions and worked the Steps. I couldn’t see the progress I was making sometimes, but slowly I did begin to change. I remember being at a restaurant watching other people enjoy cocktails, and I found that for the first time I didn’t want one. The obsession to drink had been lifted! Now that was a miracle. Many more followed, and over time many more things changed in me.

Today, I am the new man my sponsor told me about, and I like who I’ve become.