Self Worth is something I never had.....
I had a parent who told me from early on I never amount to anything
and I had teachers tell me I never measure up to my brothers. After a while you believe it ,especially when bad things happen to you and are told that's why your no good.
So I looked to others to build up my self worth and it worked for a while. It gave me false confidence and it didn't last. It was a void that lasted until I was 46 years old , when I finally found a Higher Power . Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book showed me that I didnt have to look down on myself anymore, that acceptance of a higher power, who I call God, is what I needed to fill that void to accept I was sick.
I had to accept ;
1. I was an alcoholic
2. I had to accpet myway didnt work
3. I had to accpet that men didnt fill the void or build up my self worth
4. I had to accept so much more.......
that God of my understanding would help me and the help of a sponsor, you people are here to help me. as well as the 12 Steps ,the promises, net work of people ( healthy and positive) and working darn hard on myself. I have a good attitude of myself today, but mind u, I have days where I think I am to fat or ugly or my hair looks horrible .... it doesn't last because I know IT ISN'T TRUE. I have to remind myself true self worth is an inside job. It doesn't matter what I look like , it matters what I am doing for myself, how I am treating myself and not running old tapes.
Acceptance is the answer to all my life's issues not just alcoholism. It is something I have to always remember if there is someone or something I don't accept i better look at myself.