Step Twelve

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 Step Twelve "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

 hiya Donna S grateful alcoholic ..........from NJ


   "When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone.
 He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end,...."

 As many times as I have read step 12, I must have missed this part LOL
 it explains it to me so simply ....
I am not who I use to be, due to the 12 Steps and the examples in the rooms.
For me I stop fighting Gods will  and letting God in ( God of MY understanding that is)  I am able to do, to feel, and believe  what I never thought I could.  I hated feeling , it is mostly why I drank and the feeling I usually got was rage or self-pity, but through the process and listening to others experience, strengths, and Hope  I started to learn.  I saw others change and deal with things in their life, how they found that solution , a spiritual awaking, and I finally wanted it. So I prayed to God and asked for someone to come in my life, to give me direction and help me through the 12 Steps  so I could  let go of all the anger, resentments , etc. The funny thing is ,that some one was already in my life,
 and she appeared to me and asked me....if I remember correctly ( old age).
 It amazed me as I went through the process, how freeing I started to feel.
 I was able to help others who were already in my life as well by being a better example. That spiritual awaking came when I finished my 9th step (well most of my 9th ), that was a process over time .  10 through 12 Steps  I practiced each day. I was free of all those old behaviors, as I let God work through me.
I pray everday through the day for  God;s Will not mine, and listen as well in mediation.
I am NOT Who i use to be and I don't want to ever be that person again.
This is why I help others as  they help me stay balanced more then I realize. I pay attention to others as they share and look for pointers to help me. I listen to the new person or the person coming back , as they help me so much by reminding me what it was like.  I pray I am example to them.
There is so much Hope in this program, it just takes time, action work and letting go and Letting God, of your understanding,and knowing you don't ever, EVER have to do it alone.