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Donna S. grateful alcoholic,
What stuck out for me was ...HOPE. There's hope for me to not pick up that first drink, hope for a better way of living then the way i was. I was a dry drunk for a 4 years back in 1987. I know that feeling of doom when u stop drinking. I had no tools or design for living. I mean it was there , I went to meetings and rehab but i didn't want them. I lived in the insanity, mental torture in my head waiting it out till i could drink again. Thinking this time I will be ok, I wont drink like i did before, that i could handle it this time.
WRONG
So I had to go back out to hit another bottom which I did...I believe we get what we need at the time.
I came back in ready and willing in 1999, but still I thought I could still run the show. I thought I had the answers cuz I was willing and didnt want to drink any more. I read the big book, I went to big book meetings and had a sponsor, but she didnt do the steps out the big book or the 12 & 12. She just went ot meetings and took what she needed and left the rest. Which she past on to me. I am grateful for all she past on to me. My problem was I thought I could do the steps myself but listening to others. It didn't work out to well lol. I eventually found a sponsor who did the work out the big book and she took me through the way she was taken through. WELL she left parts out. She kinda winged in with the 4th step which confused me more. I didn't get that spiritual solution that the big book states on page 25
"...... there is no middle-of-the-road solution"
Well in my 5th year I almost picked up a drink. I was at another bottom, emotional bottom. I knew I didn't want to pick up that first drink, and I knew their was a solution, so I saw my best friend was starting to change as she too had been suffering in her first 5 years, with the wrong direction...SO i asked her to sponsor me and take me through the steps as outlined in the Big book and I had the vital spiritual experience and built a relationship with God that I never did before or understood.
I thank you all, as you all give me that Hope I need each day.
ds_1_30_99♥
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