AA Twas the night before Christmas

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the halls;

not an alkie was drinking or eating rum balls.

The children were happy, their folks were serene,

Asleep in their rooms dreaming Christmastime dreams.

The sponses were nestled all snug by their phones;

Hoping their sponsors soon would be home.

Papa in his bathrobe, and I in my gown;

Were grateful to be home, not stumbling ’round town!

When out in the driveway I saw some headlights;

Who was coming to my house at this time of night?

Away to the window I flew at great speed;

I wanted to see what these people would need.

The night it was late, didn’t they know?

I would go downstairs quickly, and tell them to go.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear?

But a lawn full of drunks, and not one with a beer!

With hope in their hearts, anxious looks on each face;

They were scoping the town, for their next meeting place.

12 Principles of Alcoholics Anonymous

 

In recovery, we try to take the opposite of our character defects/shortcomings and turn them into principles.
 The 12 Steps of AA ARE the Principles of the Program that we practice, as listed on BigBook pages 59 and 60! Over the years many lists of virtues that correspond to each of the Twelve Steps and their underlying spiritual nature have been printed in local area AA newsletters and on pocket cards.

1. Honesty: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct; adherence to the facts
2. Hope: desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment; expectation of fulfillment or success; someone or something on which hopes are centered

3. Faith: allegiance to duty or a person; loyalty; fidelity to one's promises; sincerity of intentions; firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust;
something that is believed especially with strong conviction. Re. religion: belief and trust in and loyalty to God; belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

4. Courage: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

5. Integrity: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; incorruptibility; an unimpaired condition; soundness; the quality or state of being complete or undivided

Thought for the Day 12/23/14

 

Thought for the Day

We have definitely left that dream world behind. It was only a sham. It was a world of our making and it was not the real world. We are sorry for the past, yes, but we learned a lot from it. We can put it down to experience, valuable experience, as we see it now, because it has given us the knowledge necessary to face the world as it really is. We had to become alcoholics in order to find the A.A. program. We would not have got it any other way. In a way, it was worth it. Do I look at my past as valuable experience?

Meditation for the Day

New ideas

“We reevaluate our old ideas so we can become acquainted with the new ideas that lead to a new way of life.”

Basic Text, p. 94

Learning to live a new way of life can be difficult.  Sometimes, when the going gets especially hard, we’re tempted to follow the path of least resistance and live by our old ideas again.  We forget that our old ideas were killing us.  To live a new way of life, we need to open our minds to new ideas.

Working the steps, attending meetings, sharing with others, trusting a sponsor—these suggestions may meet our resistance, even our rebellion. 

Take Action

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
--Edward Everett Hale

We once heard someone say, "Knowing doesn't keep you sober, doing does." We got the point. Our actions, not strictly our knowledge, will help us stay sober. Recovery is a program of action, of doing something that will contribute to our recovery today.

All the knowledge in the world won't help us recover if we don't use what we've learned. Like good intentions, knowledge is only the beginning. Next, we must do - and not do - the things we've learned will help us make progress in recovery.

Ideas

Ideas

From "'Suggested' Steps"

"I remember my sponsor's answer when I told him that

the Steps were 'suggested.' He replied that they are 'suggested' in the same way that, if you were to jump out of an airplane with a parachute, it is 'suggested' that you pull the ripcord to save your life. He pointed out that it was 'suggested' I practice the Twelve Steps, if I wanted to save my life."

 

1990 AAWS, Inc.; Daily Reflections, pg. 344

Renewed life

 

All of my life I been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' - now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them.
--Tennessee Williams

Everyone has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren't at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves.

Learning stamps you with its moments.

We never stop learning. We absorb information every waking moment. And while we sleep, we process what we encounter during the day. The conclusions we reach about these daily lessons will likely be based on the perception that dominates our lives. Do we perceive our experiences as for our good or for our undoing?

Since learning is ongoing, we are fortunate to have a more positive context within which to interpret our experiences. Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as other Twelve Step programs, offers us a set of guidelines to live by, which helps us interpret every moment.

We can anticipate what lies ahead, or we can dread it. What we learn from each experience reflects our attitude. Our commitment to the Twelve Steps determines it.

I will soak up the day like a sponge. My education is within my control. How lucky I am to have this program!

Show Business

"The first requirement is that we be convinced
that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.  
On that basis we are almost always in collision
with something or somebody,
even though our motives are good. 
Most people try to live by self-propulsion. 
Each person is like an actor
who wants to run the whole show;
is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet,
the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. 
If his arrangements would only stay put,
if only people would do as he wished,
the show would be great. 
Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. 
Life would be wonderful."
 

c. 2001AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 60-1

Thought to Consider . . . I can't do His will my way.

AACRONYM
P R I D E =  Pretty Ridiculous Individual Directing Everything

Fear Of Change

"By working the steps, we come to accept a Higher Power's will.... We lose our fear of the unknown. We are set free."

Basic Text, p. 16

Life is a series of changes, both large and small. Although we may know and accept this fact intellectually, chances are that our initial emotional reaction to change is fear. For some reason, we assume that each and every change is going to hurt, causing us to be miserable. If we look back on the changes that have happened in our lives, we'll find that most of them have been for the best. We were probably very frightened at the prospect of life without drugs, yet it's the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Winners

“I started to imitate some of the things the winners were doing.  I got caught up in NA (AA or SH)  I felt good...”    Basic Text, p. 153

We often hear it said in meetings that we should “stick with the winners.”  Who are the winners ?  Winners are easily identified.  They work an active program of recovery, living in the solution and staying out of the problem.  Winners are always ready to reach their hands out to the newcomer.  They have sponsors and work with those sponsors.  Winners stay clean, just for today.

Winners are recovering addicts who keep a positive frame of mind.  They may be going through troubled times, but they still attend meetings and share openly about it.  Winners know in their hearts that, with the help of a Higher Power, nothing will come along that is too much to handle.

Listening

“This ability to listen is a gift and grows as we grow spiritually.  Life takes on a new meaning when we open ourselves to this gift.”

Basic Text, p. 107

Have you ever watched two small children carry on a conversation?  One will be talking about purple dragons while the other carries on about the discomfort caused by having sand in one’s shoes.  We sometimes encounter the same communication problems as we learn to listen to others.

We may struggle through meetings, trying desperately to hear the person sharing while our minds are busy planning what we will say when it’s our turn to speak. 

Solution

"There is a solution.
Almost none of us liked the self-searching,
the leveling of our pride,
the confession of shortcomings,
which the process requires for its
successful consummation.
But we saw that it really worked in others,
and we had come to believe
in the hopelessness and futility of life
as we had been living it. . .
We have found much of heaven
and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension
of existence of which we had not even dreamed."
c. 2001AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous (Fourth Edition),  p. 25

Thought to Consider . . .

The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.

AACRONYMS

H O P E =  Happy Our Program Exists

Calling a defect a defect

“When we see how our defects exist in our lives and accept them, we can let go of them and get on with our new life.”

Basic Text, p. 35

––––=––––

Sometimes our readiness to have our character defects removed depends on what we call them.  If misnaming our defects makes them seem less “defective,” we may be unable to see the damage they cause.  And if they seem to be causing no harm, why would we ever ask our Higher Power to remove them from our lives?

Take “people pleasing,” for example.  Doesn’t really sound all that bad, does it?  It just means we’re nice to people, right?  Not quite.  To put it bluntly, it means we’re dishonest and manipulative.  We lie about our feelings, our beliefs, and our needs, trying to soothe others into compliance with our wishes.

Accepting help

We came in from a very hard life when we came into recovery, kind of like coming in from a blizzard in Siberia! The old life was dangerous, cold, and lonely, and it forced us to use all our energy just to survive. Sooner or later it would have killed us. We were definitely in woe.

Someone - a family member, a friend, a boss, a probation officer - offered us a chance to get sober. That person saved our life, as surely as if he or she walked out into a blizzard and wrapped around us like a fur coat. Thanks to our Higher Power, we accepted the help this time.

Nobody entirely escapes temptation

People who have had a slip are ashamed of themselves-sometimes so ashamed that they fear to go back to A.A. They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good, that they have let down their friends in A.A., that they are hopeless, and that they can never make it.
 
This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally. They have probably been somewhat weakened by their slip. But their A.A. training cannot ever be entirely lost. They always know they can go back if they want to. They know there is still God's help for them if they will again ask for it.

Meeting Our Needs

 

Other people can't meet our needs if we don't tell them what our needs are.

We need tenderness and caring from our families and friends. We need their acceptance, understanding, and support. Sometimes we need their criticism and forgiveness.

Whatever our needs are, other people will probably be involved in getting them met. If we expect those close to us to read our minds and know exactly what we want without being told, we will probably be disappointed. Being honest and candid about our needs and feelings is an important goal of recovery. True, the other person may say no, but being able to make a reasonable request raises our self-esteem and opens the door to communication.

Today, I will take the risk of asking someone directly for something I want.

Rewards

"The rewards of sobriety are bountiful
and as progressive as the disease they counteract.
Certainly among these rewards for me
are release from the prison of uniqueness,
and the realization that participation in the AA way of life
is a blessing and a privilege beyond estimate --
a blessing to live a life free from the
pain and degradation of drinking
and filled with the joy of useful, sober living,
and a privilege to grow in sobriety one day at a time
and bring the message of hope as it was brought to me."

From the new Fourth Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous
AAGrapevine, December 2001, p. 47



Sobriety is a choice and a treasure.

G I F T S =  Getting It From The Steps.

God’s will, not ours

“We know that if we pray for God’s will we will receive what is best for us, regardless of what we think.”

Basic Text, p. 46

––––=––––

By the time we came to AA, SH, or NA, our inner voices had become unreliable and self-destructive.  Addiction had warped our desires, our interests, our sense of what was best for ourselves.  That’s why it’s been so important in recovery to develop our belief in a Power greater than ourselves, something that could provide saner, more reliable guidance than our own.  We’ve begun learning how to rely on this Power’s care and to trust the inner direction it provides us.

As with all learning processes, it takes practice to “pray only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”  The selfish, ego-driven attitudes we developed in our addiction are not cast off overnight.

Big Book Step 12

Donna S alcoholic.....

I cant help everyone, it is sad some don't get it..but i was told they are my reminders of what is still out there. I  never give up though, i let them know i am here for them and my door is always open ( cell phone as well).  I remember when i was new and how hard it was... not know what to think, how to act, and all these people saying different things, read this, read that, do this, do that, argggg slow down please!! BUT, I learned a lot though from those people.
The main thing i heard is don't take it to heart as everyone has an opinion and we all know what that means. lol My sponsor told me, if u don't like what someone says, it means YOU need to hear it!!!  It took  time for me to get that message, but i did over time.

I've seen people come and go over the years since I've been in recovery. Some passed away sober, some not. The book says we not only help the alkie who is suffering but we can be of service to there family. 

There is no total answer

Studying and reading are traditional methods of spiritual growth. With a lifelong routine of study each day, a person or couple grows under the guidance of the sages. Civilization exists because each generation builds upon the progress of the past. We do not have to reinvent the wheel.

After we learn from those who have gone before, we may even discover and create beyond the point where they left off. But if we are in a willful, defiant mood, we may say, "I have to find my own way. I don't feel like learning from anyone." Our individualism then becomes a half-truth, silently trapping us in problems that others have found answers to.

There is no total answer - no total freedom - only continued growth. Daily reading, openness to learn from others' encounters with life, and study of how they faced their most challenging spiritual questions will bring us progress.

Finding fulfillment

 

“We weren’t oriented toward fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all.”

Basic Text, p. 86

There were probably hundreds of times in our active addiction when we wished we could become someone else.  We may have wished we could trade places with someone who owned a nice car or had a larger home, a better job, a more attractive mate—anything but what we had.  So severe was our despair that we could hardly imagine anyone being in worse shape than ourselves.

In recovery, we may find we are experiencing a different sort of envy.  We may continue to compare our insides with others’ outsides and feel as though we still don’t have enough of anything.  We may think everyone, from the newest member to the oldest oldtimer, sounds better at meetings than we do.  We may think that everyone else must be working a better program because they have a better car, a larger home, more money, and so on.

The recovery process experienced through our Twelve Steps will take us from an attitude of envy and low self-esteem to a place of spiritual fulfillment and deep appreciation for what we do have.  We find that we would never willingly trade places with another, for what we have discovered within ourselves is priceless.

 

 Just for today:  There is much to be grateful for in my life.  I will cherish the spiritual fulfillment I have found in recovery.

Behind an able man there are always other able men.

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each others strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't we?

--Rose Kennedy

Some of us have been through an awful lot. We have endured pain and hopelessness. Now we have some choices to make. We can allow our pasts to make us feel bad about ourselves or we can sing after the storm. We can feel proud that we are not giving up, we are not willing to be destroyed.

The past won't change, and the bad things won't magically go away. But we can learn to move forward.

We can put the past where it belongs, close enough so we'll never forget, and far enough away so we don't give it all of our attention. The sun doesn't just make rainbows for other people; they're for us too.

Today let me tell myself that it's okay to feel good about myself.

Being present is an expression of love

When someone we care about is in distress, we may not know what to say. We'd like to make the hurt go away and set everything right, but we feel awkward and powerless.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give each other is our presence, our attention. As we recover, we become more available emotionally to those we love, less preoccupied with craving and control, and less withdrawn and isolated. Having experienced the healing support of our Twelve Step groups, we can share our strength and hope by simply being there for someone else, whether or not that person is in the program.

We know that each of us must find his or her own answers. There are many times when, much as we'd like to, we can't fix the problems of our friends, children, parents, or other family members. What we can do is show them by our presence that we care and are on their side. We can spend time with them or, if we're geographically separated, we can call or write. And we can be confident that the same Higher Power that supports us is also supporting those we love.

My presence today can make a positive difference to someone dear to me.

Take Time

I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day.

I had so much to accomplish that I didn’t take time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me, and heavier came each task.

“Why doesn’t God help me?” I wondered.  He answered, “You didn’t Ask.”

I wanted to see Joy and beauty, but the day toiled on, gray and bleak.

I wondered why God didn’t show me.

He said, “But You Didn’t Seek.”

I tried to come into God’s Presence;

I tried all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided,

“My child, You Didn’t Knock.”

I woke up early this morning, and paused before entering the day;

I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray.

Growth

 

"It seems to me that the primary object
of any human being is to grow, as God intended,
that being the nature of all growing things.
Our search must be for what reality we can find,
which includes the best definition and feeling
of love that we can acquire.
If the capability of loving is in the human being,
then it must surely be in his Creator.
Theology helps me in that many of its concepts
cause me to believe that I live in a rational universe
under a loving God,
and that my own irrationality can be chipped away,
little by little.
This is, I suppose, the process of growth
for which we are intended."Bill W., Letter,  1958
c. 1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 295

Thought to Consider . . .

All you have to do to change your life is change your mind.

C H A N G E =  Choosing Honesty Allows New Growth Every day

The best-laid plans

“It is our actions that are important.  We leave the results to our Higher Power.”

Basic Text, p. 91

There’s an old saying we sometimes hear in our meetings:  “If you want to make God laugh, make plans.”  When we hear this we usually laugh, too, but there’s a nervous edge to our laughter.  We wonder if all of our carefully laid plans are doomed to fail.  If we’re planning a big event—a wedding, a return to school, or perhaps a career change—we begin to wonder if our plans are the same as our Higher Power’s plans.  We are capable of working ourselves into such a frenzy of worry over this question that we refuse to make any plans at all.

But the simple fact is that we really don’t know whether our Higher Power’s plans for our lives are carved in stone or not.  Most of us have opinions about fate and destiny but, whether we believe in such theories or not, we still have a responsibility to live our lives and make plans for the future.  If we refuse to accept responsibility for our lives, we’re still making plans—plans for a shallow, boring existence.

Understanding humility

“Humility is a result of getting honest with ourselves.” Basic Text, p. 36 Humility was an idea so foreign to most of us that we ignored it as long as we could.  When we first saw the word “humbly” ahead in Step Seven, we may have figured it meant we had quite a bit of humiliation in store.  Perhaps we chose to look it up in the dictionary, only to become even more confused by the definition.  We didn’t understand how “lowliness and subservience” applied to recovery. To be humble does not mean we are the lowest form of life.  On the contrary, becoming humble means we attain a realistic view of ourselves and where we fit in the world.  We grow into a state of awareness founded on our acceptance of all aspects of ourselves.  We neither deny our good qualities nor overemphasize our defects.  We honestly accept who we are.

God’s guidance

“Our Higher Power is accessible to us at all times.  We receive guidance when we ask for knowledge of God’s will for us.”

Basic Text, p. 95

It’s not always easy to make the right decision.  This is especially true for addicts learning to live by spiritual principles for the first time.  In addiction, we developed self-destructive, anti-social impulses.  When conflict arose, we took our cues from those negative impulses.  Our disease didn’t prepare us to make sound decisions.

Today, to find the direction we need, we ask our Higher Power.  We stop; we pray; and, quietly, we listen within for guidance.  We’ve come to believe that we can rely on a Power greater than ourselves.  That Power is accessible to us whenever we need it.  All we need do is pray for knowledge of our God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.

Each time we do this, each time we find direction amidst our confusion, our faith grows.  The more we rely on our Higher Power, the easier it becomes to ask for direction.  We’ve found the Power we were lacking in our addiction, a Power that is available to us at all times.  To find the direction we need to live fully and grow spiritually, all we have to do is maintain contact with the God of our understanding.

Just for today:
My Higher Power is a source of spiritual guidance within me that I can always draw upon.  When I lack direction today, I will ask for knowledge of my Higher Power’s will.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter

--E. E. Cummings

One of the true gifts of recovery is that we learn to laugh again. No matter how beat up our spirits have been by our addiction, no matter how heavy or hard our hearts have become, one day we find ourselves laughing. The lightness in our hearts lets us know life is good.

It may happen in a meeting as we suddenly stop taking ourselves so seriously. It may happen as we learn to socialize again and share a joke or score a goal in a group of our new friends. It may happen as we look into the eyes of someone who loves us and our hearts bubble over with joy.

Laughter heals us. It is one of our heart's songs. There is always some in our life, somewhere - and we need only look in order to find it.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please give me something today that will tickle me with joy or humor. Help me give in to the urge to laugh. I know my laughter is music to your ears.

Today's Action

When I notice something to laugh or smile about today, I will share it with others. Humor and joy are meant to be shared.

from the book God Grant Me Meditations-

KEEPING OPTIMISM AFLOAT

The other Steps can keep most of us sober and somehow functioning.
But Step Eleven can keep us growing. . . .
THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 240

A sober alcoholic finds it much easier to be optimistic about life. Optimism is the natural result of my finding myself gradually able to make the best, rather than the worst, of each situation. As my physical sobriety continues, I come out of the fog, gain a clearer perspective and am better able to determine what courses of action to take. As vital as physical sobriety is, I can achieve a greater potential for myself by developing an ever-increasing willingness to avail myself of the guidance and direction of a Higher Power. My ability to do so comes from my learning--and practicing--the principles of the A.A. program. The melding of my physical and spiritual sobriety produces the substance of a more positive life.

Serenity Prayer

In 1941, a news clipping was called to our attention by a New York member.
In an obituary notice from a local paper, there appeared these words:
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can,
and the wisdom to know the difference." Never had we seen so much AA in so few words.
With amazing speed the Serenity Prayer came into general use.
- As Bill Sees It, p. 108


The prayer became more widely known after being brought to the attention of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1941 by an early member. The co-founder, William Griffith Wilson, and the staff liked the prayer and had it printed out in modified form and handed around. It has been part of Alcoholics Anonymous ever since, and has also been used in other twelve-step programs. Grapevine, The International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous, identified Niebuhr as the author (January 1950, pp. 6–7), and the AA web site continues to identify Niebuhr as the author.

Thought to Ponder . . .
Life is fragile, handle with prayer.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H O P E = Hang On; Pray Every day.

Defining good in my life is up to me.

We've heard, "Life is as good as we make it," but this sounds far too simplistic. We look at friends, family, and co-workers and often see much unhappiness. If it's up to us to make life good, why do so few take advantage of the opportunity?

It's not that we don't want happiness. All of us do. But many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we're happy. When the boss compliments our work, we're happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we're worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. Fortunately, we are in the right place to acquire these skills.

Twelve Step programs will teach us, if we are ready to take responsibility for our own happiness. Our program friends are learning how to rely on their inner wisdom and their God, and we are learning from their example.
It's really only a simple change in perspective. It's looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There's no mystery to it. We can do it just as they are doing it.

I will monitor how I evaluate my experiences today. Living peacefully and happily is up to me.