CHOICES

I am an alcoholic and today I choose not to drink. When alcohol is offered, I say
"no". I do not go into "wet places", spend time with drinkers or put myself in
awkward situations. I assist my abstinence by the choices I make.

The recovering gambler avoids Las Vegas. The drug addict avoids sick relationships.

The compulsive overeater must exercise the spiritual power of choice around food.
"No" must involve both hands! For the recovering addict, talk must be accompanied by action. Some people, places and things must be avoided.

Spirituality is making my talk a visible reality.



Father Leo's Daily Meditation

I can be successful today

We're never guaranteed success by others' standards. However, if we do our best according to the standards we think God has in mind, we'll be successful. And from God we'll always receive unconditional love and acceptance.

In the past many of us were haunted by fears that our best wasn't good enough. And not infrequently those fears hindered our performance, thus validating our fears. We can slip back into those immobilizing fears if we don't attend, with vigilance, to the program and its suggestions.

Our higher power will help us do whatever task lies before us. And no task will be ours except those for which we've been readied.

Touchstones

"All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. Ever deepening humility, accompanied by an ever greater willingness to accept and act upon clear-cut obligations - these are truly our touchstones for all growth in the life of the spirit. They hold up to us the very essence of right being and right doing. It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God's will."
Bill W., Talk, 1965
c.1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 271

Thought to Consider . . .

The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.

AACRONYMS
 
S O B E R
Staying Off Booze Enjoying Recovery

Inner voice

Thought for the Day
I have more peace and contentment. Life has fallen into place. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle have found their correct position. Life is whole, all of one piece. I am not cast hither and yon on every wind of circumstance or fancy. I am no longer a dry leaf cast up and away by the breeze. I have found my place of rest, my place where I belong. I am content. I do not vainly wish for things I cannot have. I have "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. " Have I found contentment in A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

Let tears come..

Letting down our guard, releasing the tension that keeps us taut, often invites our tears, tears that soften us, melt our resistance, and reveal our vulnerability, which reminds us that we are only human. So often we need reminding that we are only human.

Perfectionism may be our bane, as it is for so many of us in this program. We've learned to push, push harder, and even harder yet, not only ourselves but also those around us. We must be better, we think, and we tighten our hold on life. The program can teach us to loosen our grip, if we'll let it. The magic is that when we loosen our grip on this day, this activity, this person, we get carried gently along and find that which we struggled to control happening smoothly and naturally. Life is a series of ironies.

Acceptance

A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.

We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.

Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.

Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.

Have I found something that I had lost

Thought for the Day

My relationships with my children have greatly improved. Those children who saw me drunk and were ashamed, those children who turned away in fear and even loathing have seen me sober and like me, have turned to me in confidence and trust and have forgotten the past as best they could. They have given me a chance for companionship that I had completely missed. I am their father or their mother now. Not just "that person that Mom or Dad married and God knows why." I am a part of my home now. Have I found something that I had lost?

Meditation for the Day

Serenity Prayer

Reflection for the Day

Since I came to The Program, I've become increasingly aware of the Serenity Prayer. I see it on literature covers, the walls of meeting rooms, and in the homes of new-found friends. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and repeat it often? Is it becoming easier for me to accept the things I cannot change?

Today I Pray

I have a purpose in life

A.A. Thought for the Day

Seventh, I can help other alcoholics. I am of some use in the world. I have a purpose in life. I am worth something at last. My life has a direction and a meaning. All that feeling of futility is gone. I can do something worthwhile. God has given me a new lease on life so that I can help other alcoholics. He has let me live through all the hazards of my alcoholic life to bring me at last to a place of real usefulness in the world. He has let me live for this. This is my opportunity and my destiny. I am worth something! Will I give as much of my life as I can to A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

Grave Nature

From: "Foreword to Second Edition"  

The spark that was to flare into the first A.A. group was struck at Akron, Ohio in June 1935, during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience, following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford Groups of that day.
 

 He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, a New York specialist in alcoholism who is now accounted no less than a medical saint by A.A. members, and whose story of the early days of our Society appears in the next pages.
 

I can help other alcoholics

Thought for the Day

Seventh, I can help other alcoholics. I am of some use in the world. I have a purpose in life. I am worth something at last. My life has a direction and a meaning. All that feeling of futility is gone. I can do something worthwhile. God has given me a new lease on life so that I can help other alcoholics. He has let me live through all the hazards of my alcoholic life to bring me at last to a place of real usefulness in the world. He has let me live for this. This is my opportunity and my destiny. I am worth something! Will I give as much of my life as I can to A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

Anonymity and Sobriety

"As the A.A. groups multiplied, so did anonymity problems. Enthusiastic over the spectacular recovery of a brother alcoholic, we'd sometimes discuss those intimate and harrowing aspects of his case meant for his sponsor's ear alone. The aggrieved victim would then rightly declare that his trust had been broken. When such stories got into circulation outside of A.A., the loss of confidence in our anonymity promise was severe. It frequently turned people from us. Clearly, every A.A. member's name - and story, too - had to be confidential, if he wished."

Clarity

When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.

If we were to watch only two minutes of the middle of a television program, it would make little sense. It would be a disconnected event.

If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed.

How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.

Concepts

"The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the idea . . . My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, 'Why don't you choose your own conception of God?' That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last."

Bill W.
c.1976 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 12

 

Thought to Consider . . .

God seldom becomes a reality until God becomes a necessity.

AACRONYMS

G I F T
God Is Forever There

A.A. meetings

Thought for the Day

Sixth, I have A.A. meetings to go to, thank God. Where would I go without them? Where would I be without them? Where would I find the sympathy, the understanding, the fellowship, and the companionship? Nowhere else in the world. I have come home. I have found the place where I belong. I no longer wander alone over the face of the earth. I am at peace and at rest. What a great gift has been given me by A.A.! I do not deserve it. But it is nevertheless mine. I have a home at last. I am content. Do I thank God every day for the A.A. fellowship?

Meditation for the Day

REALITY

In my addiction I avoided things that I did not like, did not want to consider. I hid from life and condemned things I did not wish to understand. My ego created a hypocritical purity that enabled me to judge, condemn and abuse the thoughts and ideas of those I considered inferior to myself.
Today I try to live and let live. I do this not to avoid conflict or criticism but because I have found, through experience, how my ideas and attitudes have changed during my years of recovery. People who I would have condemned to Hell have now become my friends and mentors.

Second half of Step Ten

....................Second half of Step Ten.
We are human. We make mistakes. This is half the fun of being human.
Step Ten clearly tell us what to do when we are wrong: admit it. This
keeps us honest. It keeps us from hiding secrets that could cause us to
use alcohol or other drugs again.

Trust the gift we get from Step Ten. When we admit our wrongs, people
start to trust us again. We feel good, and people feel good being around us.
Even when they don’t like how we act, they can trust us to run our lives.
No one will ever be prefect. The closet we get is that we admit it when
we’re wrong. This is as good as it gets.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me admit my wrongs. Help me
earn the trust of others by being honest about my mistakes.

Action for the Day: I will list any wrongs I’ve done today. That way,
I’ll start tomorrow fresh and without any burdens from today.


from  Keep It Simple

Living or Waiting?

Using time wisely

What is the real secret of living 24 hours at a time? Isn't it really a matter of feeling completely comfortable in the present rather than believing that happiness depends on something in the future?

Whatever our situation today, it's something we must life through and deal with effectively. We may be overlooking many wonderful things in our present life simply because we believe we need some exciting experience that can only come later on.

We also might be overlooking present opportunities because we're spending too much time in the past. The past, whether it was god or bad, is beyond our control.

Impending change

The specter of change builds dread in most of us. We fear the effects on our personal lives. We lack faith that the impending change will benefit us. Only time can assure us of that. And it will, just as every change we've survived up to now has done.

Changes are gifts, really. They come as hallmarks to our present attainments. They signify successful growth. And they announce our readiness for more growth. How we struggle to understand this, and how quickly we forget it once we have adapted to the change. The struggle is then repeated the next time change visits us.

We long for permanence, believing it guarantees security, not realizing the only real security available to us come with our trust in God, from whom all change comes as a blessing on the growth we've attained.

Turned to a Power greater than myself

Thought for the Day

Fourth, I have turned to a Power greater than myself. Thank God, I am no longer at the center of the universe. The entire world does not revolve around me any longer. I am only one among many. I have a Father in heaven and I am only one of His children and a small one at that. But I can depend on Him to show me what to do and to give me the strength to do it. I am on the Way and the whole power of the universe is behind me when I do the right thing. I do not have to depend entirely on myself any longer. With God, I can face anything. Is my life in the hands of God?

Meditation for the Day

How burdened we became

How burdened we became, as little girls ( people), with the labels applied by parents, teachers, even school chums. We believe about ourselves what others teach us to believe. The messages aren't always overt. But even the very subtle ones are etched in our minds, and they remind us of our "shortcomings" long into adulthood.

Try as we might to forget the criticisms, the names, they linger in our memories and influence our self-perceptions as adults. The intervening years have done little to erase whatever emotional scars we acquired as children.

Our partnership with God will help us understand that we are spiritual beings with a wonderful purpose in this life.

Morning Cues

Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to life and ourselves as we do in those still moments when we first awaken.

An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we're open and most vulnerable.

What is the first feeling that floods through us, the feeling that perhaps we are trying to avoid during the business of the day? Are we angry, frustrated, hurt, or confused? That is what we need to focus on and work through. That's the issue we need to address.

When you awaken, what is the first idea or thought that enters your mind? Do you need to finish a timely project? Are you in need of a fun day? A restful day?

Rent-free space

Becoming consumed by our emotions is all too familiar. It was a favorite pastime before we got clean and sober, and it still may "own" us. Much to our dismay, sponsors remind us that we're getting a payoff or we wouldn't continue the practice. They also tell us it's never too late to give it up.

We can begin immediately. Let's breathe in the positive. It takes the same effort as dwelling on resentments, and the outcome is so much healthier. Let's bring our blessings to mind first. Breathe in the images of friends and the smiles we share. Breathe in the image of our Higher Power and those comforting arms.

I have learned how to be honest

Thought for the Day

Third, I have learned how to be honest. What a relief! No more ducking or dodging. No more tall tales. No more pretending to be what I am not. My cards are on the table for the entire world to see. "I am what I am," as Popeye used to say in the comics. I have had an unsavory past. I am sorry, yet. But it cannot be changed now. All that is yesterday and is done. But now my life is an open book. Come and look at it, if you want to. I'm trying to do the best I can. I will fail often, but I won't make excuses. I will face things as they are and not run away. Am I really honest?

Meditation for the Day

Holding Your Own

Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.

In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.

We don't have to forfeit our truth or our power to others. That is codependency.

Believing lies is dangerous. When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self and our health.

When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center.

Slow down

Rainy days let us slow down. We are busy people, driving ourselves to go places and get things done. But rain seems to slow life down, even in our hearts. And slowing down can show us the peace in our lives, the peace of knowing we have all we need right inside us. The pressures of the world can drop away for a time while we reflect.

As the rain soaks into the ground, its serenity enters our hearts. Leaves on trees begin to look more green. Plants and flowers are no longer thirsty. When we slow down, we can be comforted by what we have in our hearts, knowing everything is going to be all right.

What comfort can I find within myself right now?
 
 From Today's Gift:

Life without Alcohol

Thought for the Day

Second, I am content to face the rest of my life without alcohol. I have made the great decision once and for all. I have surrendered as gracefully as possible to the inevitable. I hope I have no more reservations. I hope that nothing can happen to me now that would justify my taking a drink. No death of a dear one. No great calamity in any area of my life should justify me in drinking. Even if I were on some desert isle, far from the rest of the world, but not far from God, should I ever feel it right to drink. For me, alcohol is out - period. I will always be safe unless I take that first drink. Am I fully resigned to this fact?

Meditation for the Day

Found my right place in the world

A.A. Thought for the Day


Now that we have considered the obligations of real, working members of A.A., let us examine what the rewards are that have come to us as a result of our new way of living. First, I understand myself more than I ever did before. I have learned what was the matter with me and I know now a lot of what makes me tick. I will never be alone again. I am just one of many who have the illness of alcoholism and one of many who have learned what to do about it. I am not an odd fish or a square peg in a round hole. I seem to have found my right place in the world. Am I beginning to understand myself?

Meditation for the Day

Love

Love doesn't demand; love compromises. It doesn't possess; it frees. Love doesn't gloat; it praises. Love makes friends of strangers. It softens our rough edges and strengthens our assets. Knowing we're loved inspires us and invites forth our best effort. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy.

Never, in the name of love, should we direct another person's life, but instead let's celebrate the choices made by someone dear, even when they run counter to our own desires. We are each blessed with a destiny, unique and necessary to the others in our lives. We must be allowed to travel our paths to fulfillment.

Let's free one another and know real love.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

True gift of recovery

The last few years of my drinking and using sure were ugly. It had stopped working long before I got sober, but I had failed to realize it. Instead, I obsessively pursued oblivion, and all those things I said I would never do passed by as quickly as do the stories of a building to a man who has just jumped off. Hurtling toward real oblivion, I had lost all self respect, self control, and was about to lose my life.


As I sat in meetings during early recovery, I used to hear people talk about hanging out with their "lower companions." This brought to mind all the 'nowhere' people I had taken to hanging around with, too, and I was disgusted that I had stooped so low. I'll never forget the shock I felt when my sponsor pointed out that I had been their lower companion as well. Boy did that put me in my place.

Change

I used to say that stopping drinking was easy – I did it hundreds of times. After a particularly bad drunk, I would wake up with that sick hangover and demoralizing memories of what I had done. Then and there I swore off alcohol. Sometimes I lasted a week or longer, but ultimately I would end up with a drink in my hand. Stopping drinking was easy; staying stopped? Well…

When I got sober in the rooms, I told my sponsor that I already knew how to not drink, what I didn’t know was how to live without always wanting to. He told me the key was changing who I was inside, so that the new man I became didn’t want a drink any longer. Why don’t I just change my eye color, I thought; how in the world am I going to accomplish that? He said we would do it one day at a time through working the Twelve Steps of recovery.

My choices

How thrilling to contemplate that we can choose every attitude we have and every action we take. We have been gifted with full responsibility for our development. What will we try today? It's our personal choice. How will we decide on a particular issue? Our options are only limited by our vision.

Every situation in life offers us a significant opportunity for making a decision that will, of necessity, influence the remaining situations we encounter. Just as we are interdependent, needing and influencing one another in all instances that bring us together, likewise our decisions are never inviolate. Each is singly important; however, its impact is multiplied by the variety of other decisions triggered.

The choice is ours for livings fully today, for taking advantage of all the opportunities that present themselves.

Who Knows Best?

"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."

These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.

Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.

Debits

"As we glance down the debit side of the day's ledger, we should carefully examine our motives in each thought or act that appears to be wrong. In most cases our motives won't be hard to see and understand. When prideful, angry, jealous, anxious, or fearful, we acted accordingly, and that was that. Here we need only recognize that we did act or think badly, try to visualize how we might have done better, and resolve with God's help to carry these lessons over into tomorrow, making, of course, any amends still neglected."
  c.1952 AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 94

Thought to Consider . . .

Life is too short to be small.




AACRONYMS

D U E S
Desperately Using Everything but Sobriety

Step Ten

We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them.

Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it - to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful. Courtesy,  kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, "Not my will, but Thine, be done." And we can often ask ourselves,
 
 "Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me - today?"

1981, AAWS, Inc., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 93

Living in the ever-present

How easily our minds jump from the present to the foibles of the past or our fears about the future. How seldom are our minds on this moment, and only this moment.

Before we picked up this book, where were our thoughts? We need to practice, with diligence, returning our minds to whatever the experience at hand. A truly creative response to any situation can only be made when we are giving it our undivided attention. And each creative response initiates an even more exciting follow-up experience.

All we have of life, all that it can offer us is here, now. If we close our mind to the present, this present, we'll only continue to do so when the tomorrow we dream of now becomes the present. There are no tomorrows.

Our Good Points

We don't need to limit an inventory of ourselves to the negatives. Focusing only on what's wrong is a core issue in our codependency.

Honestly, fearlessly, ask: "What's right with me? What are my good points?"

"Am I a loving, caring, nurturing person?" We may have neglected to love ourselves in the process of caring for others, but nurturing is an asset.

"Is there something I do particularly well?" "Do I have a strong faith?" "Am I good at being there for others?" "Am I good as part of a team, or as a leader?" "Do I have a way with words or with emotions?"

"Do I have a sense of humor?" "Do I brighten people up?" "Am I good at comforting others?" "Do I have an ability to make something good out of barely nothing at all?" "Do I see the best in people?"

AN OPEN MIND

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

My alcoholic thinking led me to believe that I could control my drinking, but I couldn't. When I came to A.A., I realized that God was speaking to me through my group. My mind was open just enough to know that I needed His help.
 
 A real, honest acceptance of A.A. took more time, but with it came humility. I know how insane I was, and I am extremely grateful to have my sanity restored to me and to be a sober alcoholic. The new, sober me is a much better person than I ever could have been without A.A.

Chronic Slipper

In Alcoholics Anonymous, I knew I had found a protective haven. But during the ensuing 4-1/2 years I fell into the category known, in AA parlance, as a "chronic slipper." I might get a good six months of sobriety under my belt, but then I would get a bottle to celebrate.

I did all the things that were suggested for me not to do. Within my first year around AA, I made some major decisions, like getting married, renting the most expensive apartment I could find, not using my sponsor, avoiding the steps, hanging around old haunts with my old drinking pals, and talking more than listening during meetings.

The Simplest Prayer

How do we pray? With little experience, many of us don't even know how to begin. The process, however, is neither difficult nor complicated.

We came to Narcotics Anonymous because of our drug addiction. But underlying that, many of us felt a deep sense of bewilderment with life itself. We seemed to be lost, wandering a trackless waste with no one to guide us. Prayer is a way to gain direction in life and the power to follow that direction.

Because prayer plays such a central part in NA recovery, many of us set aside a particular time each day to pray, establishing a pattern. In this quiet time, we "talk" to our Higher Power, either silently or aloud.

Have I.....?

Thought for the Day

Have I got over most of my sensitiveness, my feelings which are too easily hurt, and my just plain laziness and self-satisfaction? Am I willing to go all out for A.A. at no matter what cost to my precious self? Is my own comfort more important to me than doing the things that need to be done? Have I got to the point where what happens to me is not so important? Can I face up to things that are embarrassing or uncomfortable if they are the right things to do for the good of A.A.? Have I given A.A. just a small piece of myself? Am I willing to give all of myself whenever necessary?

Meditation for the Day

Wisdom

Wisdom begins in seeing how much we do not know. Sometimes it's a painful blow to our egos to face what we still have to learn. Many of us have believed we know how to live. Yet, when we look at our lives, we see something has been missing. When we continue to have great stress, when we haven't made progress in simplifying our lives, when our lives seem full of crises - perhaps then it is time to open ourselves to some new learning.

We can talk to sponsors and get ideas from group members. Perhaps they have noticed our blind spots and will tell us if asked.

I will let myself be human today

Requesting help. Admitting we are wrong. Owning our mistake in either a big or small matter. Asking for another chance or someone's love. All very difficult to do, and yet necessary if we are to grow. The difficulty is our pride, the big ego. We think, "We need to always be right. If we're wrong, then others may think less of us, look down on us, and question our worth." Perfectionism versus worthlessness.

If we are not perfect (and of course we never are), then we must be worthless. In between these two points on the scale is "being human." Our emotional growth, as women (men), is equal to how readily we accept our humanness, how able we are to be wrong.